I kid you not:
Heh.
Heh heh heh.
Awesome.
Awesome. I wish I’d thought of this.
I knew I’d read this one on the boardbefore; it’s still funny.
But…all dogs go to heaven! 
I assume that there are also no refunds if it turns out that Heaven goes by merit after all:
[QUOTE=Mark Twain]
Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in.
[/QUOTE]
[/QUOTE]
I’ve known plenty of dogs who probably got to bark at Cerberus on their way into Hell.
If there are no cats in heaven, I’m not going.
Oh, who the hell am I kidding? I’m not going anyway.
There’s no way ANY of my pets would get in. Not even my dog.
Not after the movie.
Dogs will never get in - they don’t have the proper faith. When they worshipfully pray to their deity for food or a walk, they actually get it - unlike humans who pray for stuff.
As for the OP, if they actually get any money out of this I’ll consider our country doomed.
Little late on this one, I think. This idea is, like, 10 years old now.
I wonder if there are other services I could offer to Raptured. I’ll water your plants. I’ll remove all the gay porn from your computer. I’ll make sure your house isn’t sold to a Mexican family. I’ll deliver that pre-written letter to your heathen cousin Phil which says, in effect, “Toldja!” I’ll sign on and change your Facebook status.
Of course since atheists have no moral center, they’ll probably just slaughter your pets for fun and dance around draped in their entrails.
Shut up!
How much time is there supposed to be between the Rapture and the End of Days?
'Cause that’s gonna affect my price.
Never! Things might be disrupted, and dogs can make good eating. You’d cook the damn entrails.
[Homer Simpson]
Mmmm…dog entrails.
[/Homer Simpson]