Peyton’s wife packs the suitcases of every player in the NFL.
… she also packs a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for each of them.
When the Colts won the Super Bowl in Miami, his teammates had to spray Peyton Manning with milk rather than champagne.
Tim Tebow wears Peyton Manning pjs.
Peyton Manning went on vacation to the Virgin Islands last summer. And while he COULD HAVE forced a name change, he chose not to, because he’s just that nice of a guy.
Peyton Manning was spotted at a strip club with his teammates. He was serving them food so they wouldn’t have to keep going back through the buffet line.
Peyton Manning drives a Kia Optima. To trick it out he added an automatic transmission.
Peyton Manning loves the Colts but dislikes Indianapolis because the lifestyle is too wild.
Peyton Manning’s favorite fictional character is Narrator. He refers to French Vanilla as “foreign food” and will not eat anything with that flavor. Although in fact he normally avoids vanilla because the taste too strong.
Peyton Manning won’t wear tighty-whities because they’re too flashy.
Peyton Manning won’t play solitaire because it’s a form of gambling.
Peyton Manning was the inspiration for the PC vs Mac commercials.
Peyton Manning asked Larry Bird for cool pointers.
Peyton Manning uses a Betamax because VHS is unproven.
Nice job, team! Way to give 110 percent, and leave it all on the field, uh, that is, board.
Just so ya’ll know, ripping off Richard Pryor or Chris Rock for ‘He is so white that…’ routines is officially against the rules of the OP, but only if I recognize them. And I can’t find any of my Pryor albums.
As of now, Munch just earned a spot on the starters, for combining “QB” and “Wonderbread” themes in one.
By the way, does anybody know if it’s true that Peyton Manning’s favorite quarterback was George Blanda until Peyton found out it was a name, not a description?
Actually, I heard it was because he simply didn’t want to force a Virgin into doing anything rash or drastic. He told the Virgin Islands to wait until they became the Married Islands.
You all might appreciate this KSK thread about Drew Brees: UPROXX – The Culture Of Now
Make sure you read the comments.
Best one: “Drew Brees thinks your nickname for Chris Johnson is hilarious”.
And RNATB with the game winning comment!
Little known fact: Ashley Manning packs a sack lunch for every fan at Lucas Oil Stadium every single home game.
I figured if I threw out 40 of them one would have to be good. 
The only reason RNATB won was because Peyton Manning didn’t play.
That’s especially funny if you read the thread on there about how they couldn’t come up with a good nickname for Chris Johnson. As is often the case over there, the commenters are funnier than the posts.
Peyton Manning drew up “The Play” for Cal.
Helmet to helmet contact with Peyton Manning is illegal because defenders might get hurt.
Peyton Manning is not subject to entropy.
Peyton Manning refers to Brett Favre as “Wienie Arm”.
Peyton Manning doesn’t slide; the earth rises to meet him.
I know the food references are a joke but Payton Manning is from New Orleans and certainly got exposed to lots of exotic and decadent culture growing up. His wife is from Memphis and a nice Southern girl. They aren’t midwestern bland by any stretch.
Maybe so, but just listen to him do post-game interviews for a season! His persona is about the most white-bread in the league. Manning would probably be Hank Hill’s favorite quarterback with nothing to do with the Cowboys.
Southern people can be bland too!
What, you’re also going to tell us that Chuck Norris’ period table doesn’t actually only contain one element - the element of surprise?!
Surprise AND fear.
I’m pretty sure that Chuck Norris doesn’t have periods.