With all my time off this summer, and with various happenings out of doors and all about, I got to thinking of a common stereotypical myth that truly annoys me. When I hear grown adults speaking to one another about each others children, or about each other period, and I hear the comment: “…Oh well so-in-so has A.D.D … and thats why they are the way they are…” as if it s a mental illness where one is automatically stereotyped as being of a certain label.
Though ADD/ADHD IS classified in the DSM IV, it is really more of a discription than a specific disease. Widely regarded by more ignorant types as being a dibilitating disease that is sending our fast paced T.V nation children into the doldrums of Zombie-ized trances. Some people do not take the time to read up on the disorder and really see what is happening in the minds of children, teens, and adults in this day and age.
As being an adult who fits most of the descriptors, I find it decidedly innappropriate to hear some adults speaking the way they do. As a psychologist I see the disorder in a variety of ways, as a researcher, teacher, client, and patient.
I have conducted extensive research on the subject, enough to know a stereotype is not warranted in most instances.
Little Johnny is daydreaming again, little johnny is not paying attention, little johnny is doodling etc…etc… He must have ADD, I think he need Ritalin.
Coming from the mouth of babes, and not an authority, or doctor. Parent shows up at the doctor’s office, thinking their child needs ritalin, the doc prescribes it, often without evaluation and POW! Little Johnny get’s straight A’s and never doodles again, or day dreams, or taps into his creative natures.
Extreme situation? Maybe, Black and White situation? Certainly not.
Do you have stereotypes you can not stand? How do you deal with them in a sensible way? Are you stereotyped?
Those who know me on the boards, know I am a teacher and know some of the things I like to do. But I also can get quite a temper when ignorance shows it’s ridiculous face, especially to our children…
My first stereotype peeve - the portrayal of us fatties in movies and television. We are not slobs, gluttons, lazy, jolly, psychologically screwed-up, unattractive, or sexless. We are people; nothing more, nothing less.
My second stereotype peeve - the portrayal of psychiatric disorders in movies and television. Sure it’s easy to go for the lowest common denominator laugh by throwing a “crazy” person into the mix and watching as hijinx ensue, but in real life, mental disorders are anything but funny. I don’t think Hollywood/the networks is helping to de-stigmatize mental disorders with their disrespectful/dehumanizing portrayals of the mentally ill.
My third stereotype peeve - that Canadians all speak French. People in the province of Quebec probably speak French, but even some of them manage to stay anglophone all their lives. Anyone west of Winnipeg, chances are we can speak a few words of French and that’s it.
I don’t know if this counts, but ever since I got engaged, my mother (and other women about her age, early to mid-70s) have been giving me little “words of wisdom” about men, mainly that they’re all alike.
“You can put 'em all in a bag, shake it up, and pick 'em out one by one, and you’ll get the same one every time.”
Furthermore, they’re apparently “all alike” in that they are all equally prone to cheat on their wives, unless certain conditions are met. For example, any wife who goes on an extended trip (apparently two weeks or more, from what I can gather) without her husband is basically giving him permission to screw someone else. Ditto for not giving him enough attention (which apparently means that if my SO decides that he wants to see me when I’ve already made other plans, I should cancel the other plans), or wearing clothing that he doesn’t like.
Also, not one of those suckers has the capability to clean house, cook, or care for children properly, so they should not be left to fend for themselves in situations that require any of these skills.
You get the picture.
Does that count?
I’m an astronomer, and communicate mainly with people via email. Therefore, a lot of people who have never met me will autormatically assume that I am male, and have no social skills whatsoever. Further, most will assume that I’m white, because we all know that an Indian female could never be a physicist. :rolleyes:
Angua - Very articulate and wise. You must be a female Indian Physicist…
I see your point and can imagine how it makes you feel.
Auntie em - I completely see your point and yes it counts. Thats the old-school mentality for you. My wife has a couple older relatives who feel exactly the same way…
Thank you Admittedly, Iw as born and brought up in Britain, but people are still shocked when they meet me in person. Apparantly I look like I should be a solicitor (a member of the English legal profession - they can represent you in the Magistrates and Crown Courts, but not in the higher Courts, and do various other legal things. Also a common profession for Asian women), and when asked why people say this, they tend to reply, “well, that’s what most educated Indian women do isn’t it?”
:rolleyes: :rolleyes:
Everybody south of the Mason-Dixon is a knuckle-dragging, mullet-wearing, wife-beating, gun-toting, beer-swilling, illiterate, backwoods, backwards, flannel clad redneck with camoflaged underware.
Just because I am doesn’t mean EVERYBODY is:D
If you have a “Southern” accent your IQ drops 150 points, right off the top.
When people learn I served in the US Army, I invariably hear something along the lines of “Gosh, you don’t look like the type to be in the Army.”
Hmmmm.
So what should I look like then?
Apparently women can’t both serve in the military and wear pink lipstick. Or be educated. Or be remotely attractive. Or have any social graces.
Sheesh.
Bah, Duke took mine:
Southern Accent = Idiot
When I was working tech support for a major computer manufacturer here in the south, I had a user ask me “how did you learn about computers down there?”
I had her format her hard drive and reinstall her o/s.
That would never be said here in the US. I say that subjectively, because there are people who would say it. If I were standing next to you when you and heard someone say that to you - and I don’t even know you - I’d be quite put off/angered. I once heard a man tell my wife she would never finish her PhD because she lacked the drive a man has.
My wife looked at him and replied, “It never ceases to amaze me, to what depth a persons ignorance and stupidity will fall.”
And turned around and walked off.
Thanks for the validation, Phlosphr. I know I shouldn’t need it, but I feel like I’m getting bombarded with this kind of crap lately, and it’s become sort of a sore spot with me.
As for your sore spot, I don’t have your professional experience with ADD, but have some personal experience–I dated a guy once who had diagnosed himself with ADD shortly before we met. He went in for testing, which confirmed it, and started taking Ritalin as an adult. I didn’t have a problem with any of this, but I was constantly forced to accept situations that (to my mind) didn’t have anything to do with ADD, in the name of ADD. For example, if something was amiss between us, and I tried to talk about it, he would claim that his “brain waves [were] all screwed up right now”, which apparently precluded his ability to carry on a rational conversation.
So yeah. I hear you, brother.
I’m a Stay-at-home-Mom… and at the moment I am both barefoot and pregnant … however … I’m not THAT kind of barefoot and pregnant. So many people chastised me for my choice to stay home and seem to feel I am somehow dominated by my neanderthal-esque overbearing husband. I actually had someone I used to work with tell me how I was setting the women’s movement back 50 years!
My husband is a work from home dad… he does ALL the laundry! He knows how to cook and clean and is a wonderful father.
Oh and I loathe when people tell me that the only reason I still like my husband so much is that we haven’t been married that long… 7 years is piddly… and that after I’ve been married “as long as they have” I’ll understand and be thankful for their nasty bitter “advice”
Well, I was mightily angered! Its rather commonly assumed, especially in my community, that most women will become lawyers of some sort, or medical doctors. Someone doing a PhD is almost unheard of. Someone doing a PhD in astronomy is rare. Someone wanting to make a career out of astronomy is rather unique.
And on the subject of PhDs, I was once told, by a member of a physics department, at a certain top university, that the only way "any self respecting institution would accept me as a postgraduate was after 5 years of industrial experience, as no one would believe I had the motivation or commitment.
Auntie said:
I’m very happy you are not with him anymore - I hope. That guy would be a textbook “copout-agent” if you asked me. Unless he had something else, besides maybe a little undersecreted serotonin, I’d say he was copping out.
Plus one who takes an amphetamine such as ritalin, dexatrin, cylert etc…etc… and does not have a chemical disorder, may certainly feel a little funky…
Angua - You and my wife would have a lot in common, you both fought the uphill battle and won.
Don’t know if this happens in US or not but it bugs the hell out of me in the UK
If a wife goes away on a trip, or to the hospital and leaves her poor defensless husband on his own, female relatives from both sides will be rushing round to cook meals, or clean up as though he were incapable.
Maybe its just me, but I don’t see it as being helpful but as being condescending.
The only thing I hate more than this is men who give the impression of being helpless just to get a hot meal
Wheres your self repect man!!!
About the only thing I can’t do that my wife can is give birth (oh yeah and enjoy shopping) and the only thing she can’t do that I can is reach the top shelf:D
I can’t stand it when I am at a dinner party or cocktail party wth a bunch of people I don’t know, and upon finding out my profession they say, “…Oh! ha ha ha! we’ve got an Indiana Jones in the house…”
asses.
I hear ya Spanna - I am in the US but lived in the UK for a while and it is rampant, the idea that men can not fend for themselves…
I’ll second what tanookie said! I’ve been a stay-at-home mom for 12 years now. I can’t possibly tell you how many times I’ve heard such ignorant statements as: “So, when are you going to get a real job?”. I have an older sister who firmly believes that the only reason I do what I do is because that’s the way hubby wants it, and I bend to his will on everything. That must be the reason; I can’t possibly have chosen this lifestyle and actually be happy with it!:rolleyes:
For whatever it’s worth, I’m not always happy with it. But I’d like to talk to someone who is always 100% satisfied and thrilled with their chosen profession!
Phlosphr, no I’m not with him anymore. And I’m happy, too.
Spanna, I don’t really know of that happening here in the U.S., except among the older folks that I talked about before. For example, my uncle’s wife recently died, and my mother seems to have taken over his care and feeding. Similarly, my grandfather (who is deceased) married his three wives in fairly rapid succession (the first two died), basically because he needed somebody to cook for him.
Nowadays, at least from where I’m standing, these attitudes manifest themselves mainly via lectures/comments about How To Treat A Man If You Want To Keep Him. And that’s annoying enough, so I can’t imagine how I’d feel in the situation you described.
One I run into all the time.
Goths are sad, depressed people who write bad poetry.
oops…most do not write any form of poetry, good, bad or indifferent. Most are interested in happily partying, dancing and living life to the full. Most do not listen to Marilyn Manson. Most are not depressed or depressing, nor do we hang out in graveyards, worship demons, think we are vampires or any other such nonsense.
We just have better fashion sense than the rest of you 
Phlosphr, thank you for that vote of confidence. Sometimes it still feels like I’m fighting an uphill battle.
Another one that gets me is when I have to call tech support about our cable modem, they assume that just because I’m a woman, I know nothing about computers. Sure. Of course I know nothing. Please patronise me, despite the fact that you’re probably reading from a script (before anyone flames me - I’ve worked in tech support, and half the time there is a set script), and I know how to work with proper computers, and do so on a daily basis. :rolleyes: