Phone Phobia

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
21

I have a similar problem - talking to people face-to-face isn’t too bad, but calling a stranger is difficult.

I imagine it must be some manifestation of a social phobia.

I can usually get over it - but man I hate me calling strangers. Even when it’s for something neutral like calling to place an order for work.

A few days ago I got an email from customer service asking me to contact a random production manager about a very basic question about our product line. It took me a few hours to work up the nerve to call him. It’s not like the question was difficult; nor was he even a customer - he was just a guy wondering something about our product line.

I’m just bad on the phone, period. It’s irrational. I can’t explain it. But phoning strangers is still difficult for me. I can usually just force myself to do it, but it’s always an ordeal.

/no doubt I have some neuroses

22

I also hate using a fast-food drive-through. I’d rather go inside and get the food.

23

I used to be afraid to call people, mainly i felt self concious about myself, and i didn’t want to talk to someone over the phone. I would do EVERYTHING to not have to use a phone in high school and such if possible, if i left homework somewhere or needed to call up a classmate i sucked at it and would often sweat bullets and argue with my parents for them to do it for me. It was pretty bad, thank heavens for IM and emails…

But slowly over time I’ve gotten better with this. I don’t have a FEAR of phones anymore, I just have an aversion to phones- I don’t like using cell phones (i do like the text feature though), and I don’t like picking up the phone at my apt (though no one calls for me except solicitors and my parents, and i’ll pick it up if I’m expecting it to be my parents- they know to basically let it ring like 6-7 times if they want me to pick up the phone).
Also, I can make phone calls when i’m given a task- that’s actually how I managed to change the fear to an aversion actually. My sister is also slightly phone phobic, but for her it’s strangers. She just doesn’t like talking to strangers.

So when we both wanted to order Chinese take out, our dastardly parents would tell us to call the restaurant, and they’d pick it up for us. This led to plenty of arguments and back and forth, and a few times where I had to go hungry cuz she didn’t call and just chose to make herself a sandwich instead.
Not cool.
So I started that way- I would order Chinese food from places. It was simple, goal oriented, and quick, and I felt less self-conscious about it, because just as much as they couldn’t understand me, I couldn’t understand them sometimes, and they couldnt understand other more “normal*” people, so I felt better about this. So it grew from that- tiny functional calls to places where I didn’t care if the judged me, to being able to talk to freinds. My friends all know though i hate phones, and I actually only call one of them regularly everyone else uses emails and IM.

But that’s how i got to the aversion stage- baby steps, make functional “safe” calls that are goal oriented (Take out is a great way- as if you don’t call you’ll be hungry. And feeling foolish while you’re hungry) and then also making more and more “safe” calls that last longer- like me talking to my parents, family members and my friend. From that I’m now able to use a phone when I have to, but I still get a lil’ "ugh’ feeling when i realize i gotta call someone and do something new over the phone.

Hang in there though! You’re not alone!

*My initial selfconciousness/aversion to phones and my usage of “Normal” is due to the fact that I’m hearing impaired since about age 4-5. So phones and old hearing aids REALLY sucked, the technology’s gotten better and better though, but I still have that aversion and dislike of phones. I await the day that people realize cell phones are a fad and throw them away.

24

I don’t like calling people, and rarely like getting calls. It’s not like it’s that big a deal once I’m actually talking to the person, but it seems weird.

For me, it’s a fear of confrontation and/or not having anything to say. Both of these are exasperated on the phone, as I can’t see the telltale signs that something is going to make someone mad and can’t tell if I am saying something interesting.

You would think this would also apply to textual communication, but it’s nowhere near as bad. On a board like this, it’s mostly a thing of proofreading a bit too much. When I have time to think about what I’m going to say, it’s much easier to deal with. Even chat gives me a bit more time than live communication–since nobody knows how fast I type, I can take my time thinking up a response or think of the right thing to say to keep someone from getting mad.

Forgot to mention: My family seems to get really anxious when the phone rings, but I will rarely even check the Caller ID. We have the phone set up where the most important people have a special ring. And if it’s really, really critical, I always get multiple calls.)

25

My brethren!

I thought I was the only one. Wow!

26

I’m sure I used to be, back when I was a lot more self-conscious and afraid of speaking (and I was doing standup comedy at the time!) But I joined Toastmasters almost 20 years ago and now, no problem with things like that.

Note, not meant as an advertisement or anything like that, just statement of my experience.

As to ordering food, lotsa pizza places around here give you the option of ordering online. (We tried that once, but it was quite confusing), surely if Winnipeg has it other places must … ?

27

Me too. I hate/fear calling more than I hate receiving calls. And it applies to people I know almost as much as strangers. Even my boyfriend will comment that he always ends up calling me more than I call him. It also applies to email and writing letters, something I should be able to take my time and think about what to say but I get nervous about that and don’t want to say stupid things and have them in writing. Yeah, I post to message boarddodo it can’t be that bad, but actually only about half the posts I start ever get posted.

28

This is the closest thing I have to a phobia. I’ve more or less gotten over it, because, otherwise, how the hell could I get anything done. But I’m the same way … sitting at my desk and the phone rings, even if I’m expecting the call I can feel my blood pressure rising and my pulse quickening. In fact, more often than not, if I need speak to someone, I’ll get up and go see them at their desk, even if they’re on another floor.

It especially is detrimental as it contributes to my procrastination. If I need to make a call to settle a bill or schedule something I get all flustered and put it off just because I’ll have to do it over the phone.

It’s very weird.

29

Sounds just like me, but I had a real problem with receiving calls, though, some ten years ago. For some reason I wasn’t on speaking terms with my older brother (mainly because he treated me like a younger nitwit) so during one year or so I just didn’t answer the phone in case it was him and all this was very hard on our mother who couldn’t reach me (I have no idea why I didn’t call her instead) until one day I said to myself “This can’t go on anymore” and picked up the receiver.

30

I get anxious when I have to make phone calls, too. I sweat and stutter and giggle - but most of the time the other person is VERY nice and listens until I can spit out what I wanted to say. I’ve had to deal with a lot of medical and insurance jargon and not known HOW to ask what I want to know.

It gets easier the more times you force yourself to do it. I pretty much only have “stranger anxiety” - not with people I know.

31

I have this sort of when dealing with call centers. I dread talking to the people that don’t speak English well.

I hate it. And I hate myself for hating it as I know these people are only trying to earn a living and they are doing their darn best. These people learned English and they have to stick to a script, and I realize they don’t speak the slang or whatever so that’ll confuse them.

But I hate going through 20 minutes on a call to get a point through. I try to be very polite as I said, after all they’re only trying to earn a buck and they are sincere in their efforts.

But still I dread that.

Speaking of which I got to make a call to Dell <sigh>:smack:

32

I don’t like talking on the phone either. I prefer email, text messages, or even chatting because I often find I can express what I’m trying to say better in words than in an impromptu conversation (an improversation). I especially hate calling strangers to talk on the phone. It just feels awkward. Glad to know I’m not the only one…

Oh, and the absolute worst is calling a stranger and them not answering, forcing you to leave a voicemail (or sum up everything you were going to say in a quick, concise manner while not sounding like an idiot). I hang up half the time and plan out what I’m going to say on the voicemail before I call back.

33

I am like this as well, and I used to work in Customer Service answering phone calls!

What I find helps is writing out what you want to say in advance of making the phone call. Not everything, just the basic jist of what you want to communicate, even if it is just something like “2 large cheese pizzas to 234 Morningwood Cir.”

34

My son’s current teacher is nearing retirement age and isn’t particularly fond of using email. So whenever there’s an issue we need to discuss, I send her an email and she writes back saying that she will call me at such-and-such time. This generally causes me to sit in a stew of anxiety until the appointed moment comes. I hate talking on the phone. Email is like the best thing ever.

35

Me, too! I turn into even more of a blithering idiot than I usually sound like when I have to leave a detailed message. I ramble on and on, trying under pressure to gather my thoughts and be concise.

Oh, and two of my best friends are not talkers. I’m not much of a talker. If I call them, I’ll say what I called to say and not drag it out. If they call me, there are long silences while I frantically try to think of something to talk about. And thats not fair because THEY called ME.

36

Wow. I had no idea there were so many people with a fear and loathing of 'phones. Add me to the list. Oh, I use them, but will tend to put it off “till later”, “till tomorrow” etc. I find I rather resent friends/family that use 'phones rather than email. Not nice of me!

Speaking to people with unusual accents is pretty bad, because an accent I would be all right with in the real world is just that bit more difficult when it comes wandering through a 'phone line, perhaps too quickly.

I have thought of getting rid of my landline 'phone but with recent family crises, it would be unfair on others who are not very comfortable with text or email. Yes, I mentioned text - I do have a mobile 'phone because I do like the idea of having that facility available if out somewhere, but largely they are things that can have their uses and can also be a real pain.

37

Another one who hate to answer the phone. And since we’ve gotten rid of our land line, I HAVE to keep track of my cell and answer the *#&^@#& thing, since it’s usually mein Herr/children calling. I don’t mind as much talking to them, but talking to faceless people is stomach-churning. I always end up talking over/at the same time as they do, and it’s SO awkward. In email, I can edit myself so I don’t end up sounding as much of a complete idiot.