When writing posts, I frequently have to go back and edit out the word “just” everywhere.
When speaking, I call everyone a “douche”. It’s [del]just[/del] such a perfect word for the sort of people I’m dealing with!
My husband constantly says, “The reality is…”
Various and sundry phrases centered around “fuck”. I’m trying to cut back, as overuse decreases the fucking effect.
“Holy crap on a cracker.”
I used to say “No problem” a lot, until I learned from this board that it annoys the hell outta everyone.
My SO sometimes asks questions as though I should know the workings of all businesses, especially places we are going to for the first time. “What time do they open?”, “Where do we pay for this?” et al. My snarky response is “I don’t know, I don’t work here”. It’s rude and I need to stop saying that, but at the same time, where would does he think I get x info from anyways?
When I am enthusiastic about something, which happens a lot, I start to talk rather…entusiastically. I should build in a 24 hour delay before I start raving about anything.
“Dude!”
I say that way too much.
Apparently, I say “apparently,” too much. Apparently :smack:.
I’m trying to make myself use, “Crap in a hat,” more, instead of F@#, S#%, what have you. 
“Excellent!” and “Absolutely!”
If you’re imitating C.M. Burns (and if you’re good at it), it’s never too much. 
I say “anyways” a lot in posts here. I’m having trouble coming up with stuff I say too often in real life, but I know some exist.
I once had a boss who would use “obviously” even when nothing was obvious.
Me: What font should I use here?
Her: Obviously Garamond Italic.
Me: Where are you going on vacation?
Her: Obviously Barcelona.
Drove me crazy.
I’m guilty of that, too. Same thing with “essentially”.
I know, right?
I start a sentence or story with “so” way too frequently. “So, I was at CVS and …”
One of my big filler statements is “kind of” (more accurately, “kinda”). It can be used where other people say “like”. I also end too many sentences with “y’know?” But I really DO have a reason - sometimes what I’m talking about is either weird or complicated so I want to make sure that I’m making sense.
And I have a phrase that came from the Dope! “attantion of details”. don’t ask, I bet you didn’t think a post you wrote 5 years ago would influence the everyday language of someone on the other side of the globe!
I’m a librarian, so it’s various versions of directions to the bathroom.
“Essentially” and “ultimately” for me. And also, “you know what I mean?” Also, I am guilty of using “So,” as my ease-in-the-sentence word.
Oh, I also realized that I use “to be fair…” a heck of a lot. It happens a lot when I’m explaining/summarizing a current events story for someone or the positions in an argument/debate.
“Well,”, even in writing, though I do usually catch myself if I look before I send. When I do the tour bus thing, I often say “by the way”, which is really more of a fake “this just occurred to me (even though I say it every day, usually twice)”.
I end too many explanations with, “so…”
It’s a bad habit I’m trying to break.
I hear other people say “on the planet” a lot, and then I start using it too, which is the most annoying thing on the planet.