I’m not going to stand next to a heavy box and pretend I can’t lift it so that someone will do it for me.
But if I’m standing next to a heavy box and just haven’t gotten around to lifting it (because I’m lazy and it can wait) and someone offers, my first thought will be “if he does it, then I don’t have to.” I’ll say “Thanks!” Then, if the offerer struggles to pick the thing up and I realize that he’s weaker than I am and I should have just done it myself because this is a waste of everyone’s time, I do not snatch the box back and put it where it belongs. I’ll stand there silently and wait for him to finish. And that’s at least partially not to show him up.
Well, since I don’t really care what males think of me, I have no problems with being strong. In fact, most of my guy friends call me first if they have a hard task or need someone handy with tools!
Along those lines: Once, long ago, I met a girl at a resort hotel. There were tennis courts there and we played for an hour or so. She really stretched me out. I had to give it my all to beat her, but beat her I did.
Some days later, I watched her play someone else and I realized that she had slacked off on me to let me win. Now, THAT pissed me off!
I don’t mind if a female can beat me at pool, tennis, cards, weight lifting or what have you. If I don’t want to lose, it’s up to me to get better.
But for shit’s sake, don’t slack off and let me win! That’s humiliating.
I’m fairly strong, and I sometimes feel like I’m holding back, but not for those reasons. In my extended family, a lot of the men are weaker than I am, guys a decade or two older, just smaller stature or bone structure. So the time comes to move a couch or carry a table and one or two of the guys automatically get up to heave at it, that’s when I hold back because what I really want to do is hipcheck them out of the way and just get the job done. The status quo is that moving and carrying things are man work, cooking and taking care of kids is for us female types.
I’d wind up just embarrassing them unnecessarily, they eventually get the job done, but I always have to check that instinct to just do it myself.
My boyfriend knows I’m strong, I’m bigger boned than he is and he’s a total desk jockey. It wouldn’t occur to me to wait for him to do something I’m more capable of doing myself, but neither do I grab the pickle jar out of his hands. I wait for him to silently hand it over.
When I started apprenticing as an electrician, there were plenty of older journeymen who couldn’t stand to have me do the normal apprentice scut work of heaving wire spools around or whatever. It just contradicts how they were raised to view females and quite a few of them were at a loss on how to deal with me and treat me the same as the other apprentices. Some just couldn’t work it out and told me straight out that they weren’t comfortable having me do stuff like that and we mutually agreed I’d be better off with a different mentor who wouldn’t be constantly second-guessing themselves.
This is a silly question. I’m pretty strong for a not-big girl, and of course I don’t act weaker than I am. How dumb would that be?
However, my husband is much stronger than I am, and, for instance, if we’re unloading groceries or whatnot, he gets the heaviest stuff and I get the lighter stuff. Not because either of us think I can’t carry the heavier stuff, but because he’s bigger than me, and we both prefer that he carry the heavier load. He’d feel silly carrying toilet paper while I lifted a bag filled with four sacks and caned veggies.
I don’t even know why I’m replying to this, it’s so silly.
I cannot STAND the chippy little girly-girl do nothing. You’ve gotta be a strong, and dare I say it, sturdy woman to keep up with me. I’ll put you up on the pedestal, but you’ve gotta uncrate and wheel that sumbitch in to place first.
I’m mad strong, and haven’t found a girl yet to match me, though I know they’re out there, still, I would be into it if she were.
The way I feel in my line of work is, if you’ve got what it takes to haul my ass out of the heavy fire, you’ve got my respect and you’ll be treated no differently than anyone else. If you, like one example I’m thinking of, can’t even pull a start on a chainsaw or carry a battering ram, I don’t need you and you don’t belong.
The problem I have, on the contrary, is height. My SO’s strong, and slightly stronger than me; he’s got that wiry strength, but I can put up a good fight. But he’s six feet tall and I’m only 5.5, so everything is above my head. But you think I ask for help? NOPE! I’d rather reach, it provides him with amusement anyway.
Guy checking in. My ideal woman is pretty much in the tomboy mold: able to do stuff like swing a hammer, take care of a loaded mousetrap, or be one of the guys, yet can look absolutely stunning in an evening dress.
Physical strength would be a plus, especially as the arthritis gnaws away at my ability to open jars by brute force alone.
I was quite happy when my ex girlfriend offered to change the tire when we got a flat on a trip upstate, and other times when she was tough.
I think it’s fine and cool as long as you don’t give off mixed signals. It’s fine to start a wrestling match, but not fair to complain that women shouldn’t be roughhoused if you start to lose.
I’m 5’3", have always been small, but have never figured that as a reason not to at least try to do everything possible to lift/open/fix/wrangle whatever needs to be done. My strength isn’t as great as bigger people, but, if a car is in a ditch, I get out there and push with everyone else.
One side bonus of being small is that you figure out how to use leverage and tools to get what you need to do. You work smart by necessity. Part of that smart now, as my dang body gets older is to know the limits, though. I work a very physical job, and can’t lift quite what I used to, so I’ll ask for help from one of the guys at work. It’s a tool I use sparingly, though, and always preface it with an apology and appreciation in having to have them do the work.
I just can’t imagine not wanting to do whatever ya can one’s own self. The men I know don’t have a problem with that.
I’m of the school of thought that if it’s heavy or annoying to move/lift/deal with, and there’s a guy around who’s offered to deal with it for me, I’m not going to say no.
For instance…I work at a bar and one of my least-favorite activities is changing kegs. I can certainly do it unaided, and I do it often, but if one of my regulars or friends offers to do it for me, I jump on it.
I don’t know if this makes me merely lazy or if I’m actually retarding feminism, but I don’t really care. I hate jacking with kegs–they’re like 160 pounds of unwieldy liquid in a huge even more unwieldy barrel–and when a guy offers to change them for me, I say, “Why thank you!”
If this makes them feel manly, that’s a bonus for them. It certainly isn’t me “holding back.” I’m capable of doing it, I just don’t wanna.
However, there’s been a few times when guys have witnessed ME changing them, and the speed and efficiency with which I manage it has impressed and–dare I say it–intimidated a few of them.
I know very few people stronger than I am (pretty much just my dad), so I’m used to carrying heavy stuff for people, and occasionally hugging too hard because I don’t know my own strength. Any girl who can outlift me…well, quite frankly, that’s a turn-on.
