What do you mean, “Veronica OR Betty”?
But, if I were single, and I could be Major Nelson, then I have always dreamt of Jeannie.
Hey, baby, I can do more than just make cashew fudge. 
I’ll be off to Her Majesty’s Ship Camden Lock in Hyperdrive
I’m getting drunk with Norm.
Hey, I like 'em both. Either/or/both. Why discriminate? And stop hitting me!!
My Name is Earl. Seafood out of a bar? Games that involve beer? Ceiling-hung TV shows that always lead to a little moral striving? I’m there.
(Not to mention all the great decorating ideas for trailers. Or any small space.)
♫♫ Meet you there! ♫♫ I’ll be riding piggy back on a Segway!
Fair enough!
Rob & Laura Petrie.
The Dick Van Dyke Show
The hardest part would be keeping my hands off Laura.
Well, one part would be harder…
I’d visit my brother Bill and his family on Family Affair. I’d be Bill’s less virtuous brother, Phil. Mr. French would be compelled to spoil me rotten, hand-feeding me caviar and truffle hors d’oeuvres, giving me foot massages with happy endings…that sort of thing. I’d get big laughs embarrassing the big guy with a whoopee cushion at least once per episode. I’d play mean practical jokes on the little brats, like placing Mrs. Beasley’s severed head on Buffy’s pillow. At night I’d put the “affair” back into Family Affair, getting Cissy liquored up and double-teaming her with Bill (ok…perhaps I wouldn’t go quite that far).
Alternately, I believe there would be enough “loves” to go around for me to have a productive couple of weeks on The Many Loves of Dobie Gillis. I’d be Dobie’s friend, Doobie. By day I’d smoke dope with Maynard G. Krebs, ransack munchies from Herb and Winnie’s grocery shop and con cash from millionaire dilettante, Chatsworth Osborne, Jr. By night I’d chase skirts with Dobie, scoring big with all the girls who’ve dumpedhim. Dobie can do Zelda, while I tap Thaliatill next Tuesday ;).
…you’ve gotta love a show that features the world’s first iPod (Dennis the Menace’s dad be damned).
Wow what a fantastic idea for a thread! Let see…gotta think gotta think…
I’d start by hanging out in NYC with Rachel & Monica on Friends, then maybe head over to Quahog for a few days to visit the Family Guy gang. Quagmire and I (giggity!) could paint the town red. Afterwards, I’m off to Wisconsin to chill with That 70’s Show. “Hi there Mila! How YOU doin?”
If I had any energy left (Rachel, Monica, Lois Griffin AND Mila Kunis in one week!) I’d spend the last week laughing it up with all the Freaks & Geeks.
Futurama. Hanging in the future with Bender and Fry would be a blast.
This is it for me. And don’t worry about him. Jeanie hasn’t gotten any for what, 1500 years? She could do lots for you, and, as a bonus, you’d get to see her navel.
As much as I’d like to shadow Monk, I don’t think I could put up with someone as socially inept as I am. I’d be perfectly fine with the non-touching, moist toilette thing.
So, I’d probably end up as the Disastrous Date on Frasier. I could see it. I love classical music, art, and literature. NO idea how we’d meet, since I’m the Least Social Person On Earth.
Barring that, the hijinks ensue when he learns I love video games and some of my characters are anthropomorphized demi-humans and robots, and there’s an implication that I have sexual fantasies about these types of creatures.
Who doesn’t like making fun of kinky nerds?
Depending on the generosity of sitcom karma, the surrounding characters either rib him endlessly or end up chiding him for rejecting someone for having a few weird habits. I’m guessing the former, since audiences might be put off by accepting someone who wants to bang an android.
Wow. My sitcom vacation just turned ugly.
Can I go home now?
Big Bang all the way. I’d fit right in.
Aww, can’t I just spend the two weeks hanging out with Lady Jane instead? Getting to know a sixteenth-century person would be AMAZING, especially one who was by all accounts super-smart.
… But if I must, I pick Slings and Arrows, which would be the next-best thing.
Well, if we could pick a comedy in any media, I’d go with the original A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I would love to hang out with Will Shakespeare and discover what he was really like!
Now… we wait for the bee.
For me, I think it’s a choice between The Big Bang Theory (arguing with Sheldon would be fun – but for two weeks?) or (da-da-da-da da-da-da-da) Batman.
Police Squad! and Hogan’s Heroes, no wait Archer if I could team up with Lana, amirite?
I’d just go keep an eye on Catalina jumping at Club Chubby, and try to stay out of Joy’s way. 
I’m in it for the laughs, and since Gilligan’s Island and Green Acres are getting kind of crowded, I would have to head off for The Muppets (hopefully when Rita Moreno is the guest), or maybe Laugh-in.
Hey Goldie… Sock it to me!
Say goodnight Dick.