OK… here’s what I’m looking for. The two stiffest people you can think of that, if put on the silver screen together, would make the movie look more like a budding forest than a feature film.
My nominees:
Bill Paxton / Lindsey Crouse
They both suck royally, and I can’t understand how either gets work, but for the sake of argument, take Paxton’s performance in Titanic, and Crouse’s performance in House of Games (an otherwise great film ruined by this female piece of walnut). That should give you an idea of what I’m looking for.
I only know Lindsey Crouse from her appearances on Law and Order and CSI, but I do not think she has improved with age. Her first role on L&O was as a psychiatrist who was sleeping with her client, and encouraged him to kill his fiance. I thought she played the role rather well. Her later roles (as a judge shot by her husband, as a transexual on CSI) have been, as you say, wooden.
Why would an actor’s talent deteriorate over time, rather than improve?
You’re saying Paxton is a bad actor? Have you never seen Aliens, Wierd Science, Predator 2, Commando, Terminator, Navy SEALS, Tombstone, A Simple Plan, Club Dread, or the videos to Fishheads or Shadows of the Night? I honestly cannot comment on his work in Titanic other than “I have not, and will not see that movie” but he’s got a pretty good body of work and does some great character work.
The obvious nomination for wooden actor would be Keanu Reeves.
I’ve seen just about every movie you’ve stated. Bill Paxton has absolutely no talent. His voice is monotone, he sounds like he talks slower than everyone else in the picture, and his delivery is awful. Granted, Keanu has his own issues, but Paxton has bored me since his punk rocker appearance in the Terminator, and up to and including his current role in Big Love. He almost ruined Apollo 13, and any time I watch that movie again, I cringe at his “acting”.
The first time I remember seeing her was in Slap Shot, and I thought she was ok in the movie. But over time, she’s become the female version of Bill Paxton.
Bill Paxton is not a terrible or wooden actor. You’re welcome to dislike him, I certainly don’t love him but there are about a million more wooden examples out there. I have no idea who Lindsey Crouse is. OP Fail.
I’m going with Keanu Reeves and Kate Hudson. Yikes.
Martin Landau and Barbera Bain. I always maintain that Anderson picked them as the leads for Space: 1999 because all his experience was with directing wooden marionettes.
I almost forgot about Ari Larter. She’s got two basic looks: the blank stare with the teeth sticking out and that other blank stare with the teeth sticking out.
What about January Jones? I remember someone posting something like, “is she really wooden or is she supposed to be that way for Mad Men”–but there was no consensus.