Pirate Master: The rest of season one

Cafe Society
101

I actually went through the painful experience of watching it last night (that CBS innertube thing just sucks).

I don’t think anyone has mentioned the best part of the race. As has been said, the red team had this formula that told them to count the steps, subtract one, and then divide by 22 to get the step where the key was. The two guys (former officers; forgive me but I haven’t paid enough attention to remember any names) counted. One got 66 and the other got 68. They stood there like dumbasses saying, “It’s either 66 or 68, but we don’t know which!”. Then one of the girls, who apparently actually has a working brain, pointed out that the correct answer is probably 67, because then subtracting one gives 66 and dividing by 22 comes out evenly at 3. And the guys go “Doh!” as that simple logic slowly works its way through their thick skulls.

102

Very true, Roadfood. That was Christa, and that fact impressed the ex-officers a lot. She does seem pretty smart. She had kept a very low profile until now, but now that she is getting more camera, I think she has a real chance of stealing the show (and the prize). 5 weeks as captain is a long time, though.

103

In response to the question of when spoiler boxes should be dropped.

Very True. I’m surprised by how much discussion there has been of an officially dead show given the general lack of interest while it was being broadcast.

104

Actually, that’s what I find so fascinating and why I keep coming back to the thread. It’s not so much the show, but the way in which we are talking about it. It’s almost like being gods on Olympus talking about some earthly affair that we’ve concocted.

105

Look, Otto, dudes post their way over at TWOP, and that’s fine. But this is the SDMB, just about the Biggest Baddest Board around. We set trends, we don’t follow them. Now sure, “over there” it is fine if some Noob asks “Who are you talking about when you say ‘Jeffers’ and why do you call him that?” and much fun will be had heaping scorn upon the Naif that doesn’t know that the same actor had a minor part in the short-lived 1989 sitcom “…” where he played a dude named Jeff Jefferson and everyone called him Jeffers. Of course, really only the Recaper remembers this piece of trivia but everyone over there slavishly imitates the Recapers (which is fine, as they are having fun, and enjoying themselves, this is the WWW and there’s something for Everyone!). Anyway that whole Board is about TV and only TV and thus there’s a reasonable expectation that you know a fair amount about TV and especially that show.

But here on the SDMB, we have posters that watch very little TV, and although certainly they have heard about Survivor and maybe even tuned in years ago, they don’t remember that the host’s last name was Probst (especially as they usually refer to him as “Jeff” and not Probst), but they still see a thread here and would like to poke their nose in and see what all the views and posts are about. So, we here at the SDMB, try to make any and all threads user friendly and not use nicknames- especially when that nickname was “borrowed” from another Message board.

You can use all the nicknames “nicked” :stuck_out_tongue: from another board if you like, I can’t stop you. But it is being rude, and the exact opposite of witty and original. :rolleyes:

106

No kidding. This thread is getting the activity it never had while the show was alive.

As for the Probst-lite issue. I don’t think anyone has used the same name twice for Azmyth.

And speaking of noobs not knowing the in-jokes, what is TWOP?

107

Television Without Pity. (Technically, it’s TWoP.)

108

I have a question for those who are still following this show. (I made it about 3 episodes before bailing) Why do you think this heavily hyped show failed so miserably?

For me, I just couldn’t get past the stupidity of the pirate get-ups, and the oh-so-serious cutting adrift after pirate council (or whatever they called it). I don’t mind stupid, vacuous reality shows, but they work best for me in cases like Big Brother, where they know they’re stupid and ridiculous.

I liked the idea of being able to bargain/bribe etc with the prize money, but watching waiters from LA pretending to be a pirate was just too much.

109

It’s only getting extra activity because of the need to summarize the show for those who can’t or won’t watch the online version.

(I don’t blame anyone who doesn’t want to watch online. That innertube interface is awful.)

110

Yeah, so, in responding to this giant abortion of a post, all I can say is that if some other board calls the host of this show Probst-lite then it’s a question of great minds thinking alike since I have never read another message board’s posts about this show. The notion that using nicknames is “rude” is STUPID, especially considering that A) I seriously doubt that your real name is “DrDeth” and B) your response to Sapo’s using the nickname “Azhat” was to thank him rather than to scold him for daring to say “Azhat” instead of “Azymyth.”

So in conclusion, should I happen to call the host of this show “Probst-lite” again in this thread, shut the hell up and deal with it. And I say this with, of course, all due respect.

Yours in Christ,

Otto

111

My guess, two things:

The make-believe part. In Survivor, you are yourself, in an island. In Big Brother, you are yourself, in a house. Here, you are playing pirates, with costumes and all. That adds an extra layer of disbelief that might be too much for many.

The first episode was beyond stupid, in every possible way. The lame LARPing in Pirate Court, the poor decisions of the teams, no real charismatic players, too many holes in the rules, the I-Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Probst host substitute. Everything.

The real question would be why would anyone keep watching.

In my case, beyond completionism, I think the rules have a promise beyond what has been fulfilled right now. The players are not smart enough to exploit the rules to their fullest, but I keep hoping someone will suddenly wisen up and start really gaming the rules. One can hope.

112

Exactly right. The whole bit about the “recently discovered treasure chest of pirate Captain Henry Steele” is pretty silly. We all know that it was made by the prop department a month before the first episode. And this show didn’t need it, because there’s enough real reality in the situation that they didn’t have to make up any more. Which is more interesting; watching someone run up steps and divide by 22 because the producers want you to, or climbing 70 feet up a mast to furl sails because the sails damn well have to be furled?

The show reminds me why I don’t watch Survivor or Big Brother. I don’t have much interest in a game where the way to win is through secret alliances or well-timed backstabbing. (The popularity of Survivor tells me I’m in the minority on that.) By shuffling the teams every week, this game is even more muddled. The producers added complications without adding any purpose.

Survivor and Big Brother have ordinary people in mundane settings. Pirate Master has ordinary people in a really interesting setting, and does nothing with it. (But I’m not exactly unbiased, here.)

113

Survivor has four things going for it: The group dynamic backstabbing part (and they often vote out a dude becuase he won’t work around camp), the game part with the challenges, and (my fave) the real survival part where they have to catch fish, cut coconuts, find edible plants and such to live. That is why the show is such a success- not to mention tanned bodies in outfits that keep slipping off (#4). So it is this 4 way that gets the show it’s ratings.

The “water cooler” Monday Morning QBing and discussing about the show is also fairly popular.

114

Here’s how I think Pirate Master measures up to DrDeth’s points about Survivor:

  1. As the teams are random, there isn’t enough opportunity for backstabbing. And since a mutiny requires the agreement of the officers, backstabbing the Captain is incredibly difficult.

  2. The challenges that I saw were heavily based on footrace or swimrace ability. Unless someone screwed up very badly, most of the time whoever got to the treasure site first won it.

  3. The broadcast gives, oh, perhaps 5 or 10 minutes at the start of the episode to the players living in the piratical style and helping work the ship. It’s sorely underplayed.

  4. Tanned bodies in piratey garb! With occasional clothing malfunctions (Nessa, I think?). Pirate Master can claim one point for this.

So Pirate Master doesn’t have consistent drama, interesting challenges, or enough of its own style. No big loss.

115

Which is something they seem to have deliberately removed from Pirate Master. There’s no sense of them having to cope with the real life of being where they are, otherwise they’d have kept Christian around just to help raise the anchor.

There was a clip on the website a few weeks ago where the crew caught some fish. (The web clips were better than the show.) They cooked them for dinner, and Azmyth and the officers joined right in. I wanted someone to say “so, you’ll be sharing your breakfast with all of us tomorrow morning, right?”

And there’s a machete on board for coconuts. Do not get between Emma and the coconut.

116

shouldn’t we wait until the show is officially over to swing into full eulogy mode? :wink:

117

My take: It’s boring, plain and simple.

  1. In Survivor, the backstabbing and shifting alliances add intrigue to the show, they keep you watching, to see how many lies one person can get away with, or if the currently strong alliance will crumble.

Unlike other posters, I don’t think the fault in Pirate Master is the shifting teams; the teams only last for the duration of the competition, and those teams don’t directly influence who ultimately gets voted out. The problem here isn’t with the structure of the show; it’s different from Survivor and requires a different strategy. The problem is that almost all the players are clueless and unable to figure out anything remotely like a coherent strategy.

  1. Survivor gives you two competitions per episode, and while there is a lot of similarity and repetition, the producers at least try to make each challenge somewhat different.

Pirate Master gives you one competion per show, and it’s the same damn thing every time. Row, read, run, climb, dig. <snore>. The other horrible mistake the producers made is having both teams follow the same course. This allows, as we saw a couple of shows ago, one team that has absolutely no clue what to do to see the other team going somewhere and just follow them.

  1. Tribal Council in Survivor is interesting because Jeff knows about everyone’s scheming and lying, and he pokes a little and gives people the rope to hang themselves, which they often do. Then they vote, the votes are read, and someone leaves.

In Pirate Master, the pirate’s court could have been interesting. But . . . they . . . draw . . . it . . . out . . . to such a ridiculous degree that it’s a snoozefest. The host goes over the rules, very slowly, about five times every show. We see the captain and his hencemen making their decisions about who to give the black spots to, then we get AGAIN to hear the captain explain why at the court. Then the three get to “defend” themselves and say why they should stay, and no one has had anything interesting to say since what’shisname stole the compasses. Then a long, interminable scene of the voters putting their ballots on the sword, then the host d…r…a…w…s out who gets the pardon and then d…r…a…w…s out how the voting went down, and I’m always screaming at the TV “Just get on with it!”

As everyone has mentioned, the rules for mutiny make it impossible and just a joke, so the “possibility” of mutiny adds nothing to the suspense, despite the obvious efforts of the producers every time to edit the discussions to make the audience think there might be a chance for mutiny.

The show is just boring. I’m sure we’ll never see it again, but if they did want to try again, here’s what they need to do:

More competitions, and for cryin’ out loud, something other than running around an island looking for keys!! How about which team can set the sails the fastest? or a shooting competition with period guns? or some kind of mock sword fight?

Make mutiny easier, get rid of the requirement for the officers to agree. If the crew alone votes unanimously for mutiny, the captain is gone.

Add an option, before the voting at pirate’s court, for a crew member to individually challenge the captain; winner is captain, loser goes away.

And for god’s sakes, get a cast that has some ability at strategy!

118

I think you should need one officer. But only one. The rest, I pretty much agree.

119

I’d have liked to have seen them faced with hardtack and salt beef, and anything else is earned or caught/collected.

120

Here comes Episode 10 (in a spoiler box because it is kinda early, but further notes will be unboxed. Proceed at your own peril)

A pretty meh episode, all in all.

Starts with Jay massaging Christa’s brain. He basically follows her around night and day. Ben is starting to dislike this whole deal. He knows he is not as close to her and Jay is.

They decide to invite Nessa to a meeting and make her think that she is part of the final four when they actually plan to boot her. It is not clear what the intention of this is.

They also agree that if either Ben or Jay is on the Red Team, and they find the treasure, they will point it to the Black Crew. This is Jay’s idea, of course. Ben is not looking too excited about it

As it turns out, this was a unnecessary precaution. Louie, Kendra and Nessa get the red balls and Laurel, Ben and Jay join Christa on the black crew.

The foot race starts with, well, a foot race to a creek where they have to fill some buckets with water that they will have to carry to the next waypoint. The black crew is way ahead.

The next stop needs them to know how many pints in two gallons. They need to pour the water in a tube marked with the number of the right answer. This would make the next clue float to the top. They do their math wrong and pour the water on the wrong tube.

The reds catch up to them and pour the water on the right tube, but they lost so much water along the way, that they don’t have enough to get the clue. Luckily, the tubes are the pilons to a bridge over a trickle of water.

The red crew manages to fill their tube ahead of the black and takes the lead. The next stop is at a tall waterfall. It is supposed to be in a cave. Ben (black) gets to the cave first and reads that the next clue is actually under the waterfall.

Both teams spend an eternity looking for it by the waterfall. Finally the blacks find it under the water. The reds pick on it, find theirs and follow closely.

The treasure is in a mud pit. The whole lot splashes around for yet another eternity until Christa finds it. Louie tries to make a grab for it, but buried in mud, it is not a snatch and dash. The whole black crew is there to squeeze him out.

Black wins $40K all to Christa. She divides it evenly and polls the crew for the black spots.

The “winners” are Kendra and Nessa. Nessa is pissed, of course.

At Court, non-Probst (sorry, I really forget his name) asks the crew how come Kendra is there for the fifth time and she never gets booted. Everybody gives the same “save the worst for last” speech, but also mentions how much Kendra has improved (?!)

Nessa challenges the Captain and the two amigos and asks if there is something she should know. They all say no. She is voted off unanimously. She is triple pissed.

For the next episode, we are shown that:

Ben and Jay are talking about throwing the next race. Apparently Kendra listens and is trying to threaten Christa with the knowledge. The wonders of editing. We will see.