I stopped at the grocery store on the way home from work. They have been selling beautiful bunches of carnations really cheap, and I wanted to get some. I figured as long as I was there, I may as well pick up some cat food.
So I go over to the checkout, and I put down the cat food. And I put down the flowers.
After about a minute, the guy behind me says, “Boy, you musta really pissed off that cat!”
I chuckled all the way home.
I’m laughing with you 
gave me the giggles
If you had been buying dog-food…
“Good luck with the bitch”?
made me Let’s go to the quarry and throw stuff down there
Um yeah… the original comment? Funny. Yours? Not so much.
I LOLed.
I was sent by by GF out to the store to buy a box of condoms … and at the same time, to pick up a large raw turkey she had ordered. Just those two items.
That earned me a truly classic look from the cashier. 
Malthus, if you had bought duck instead of turkey, you’d have that rhyme thing working for you.
My best combo is buying only Cheerios and a gallon of wiper fluid. Blindness never tasted so good!
True, that.
My story isn’t as amusing as the OP’s, in that I didn’t actually get a pithy observation … though I could tell the cashier was thinking of one!
A few years ago, I was at the grocery picking up a few items and going through the self check out. There was a young couple (early 20’s) in front of me also getting a few things, 12 pack of beer, chips, snacks, etc. The woman saw a small bouquet of flowers and reached to get them. The boyfriend, says “fuck that”, you’re not getting those. Girlfriend clearly looks dejected.
As I checked out, I grabbed the small bouquet and purchased them. They were $5. As I walked out of the store and walked past the couple I handed the flowers to the young lady, and said, “excuse me, but you look like you could use these.” She said, thanks, the boyfriend was speechless. I got in my car and drove away.
A couple of years ago I had to get something from Home Depot. I saw that they had some orchid plants on sale, so I just about filled my cart with orchids. The guy behind me commented “Either you did something really bad, or you must really, really love her.” So I corrected his pronoun, “Yes, I really, really love him.” The guy responded with “Oh, MAN!” and never again made eye contact with me.
I get really tired of people saying ‘Do you have cats?’ when they see me at the super market with a large bag of cat food. A while back a cashier asked me this, and with a deadpan face I replied ‘Oh no, pour some milk on em and these are great’. She got this kind of dead in headlights look, and I could only hold the laughter in for a few more seconds.
Once in college I was at the store with my friend in the checkout line, and a very old man pulls up behind us with an entire cart stacked high with adult diapers. We stared for a second, and I said ‘Wonder what he’s doing tonight’, and my friend replied ‘Depends I guess’.
Really? Still?
I love playing this game. A few weeks ago the guy behind me was buying five big multi-roll packages of toilet paper and two roasting chickens. 
:eek:
And another time a woman was buying a bottle of vodka and a plastic half-gallon of cheap iced tea, so I had a name-the-cocktail contest on Facebook.
Trailer Park Tea?
If only we could appease cats with flowers - alas, nothing but peeing on things will do for them. 
When I was in college band, every year we had a road-rally scavenger hunt. One year, one of the items we had to produce was a receipt from a convenience store showing exactly three items: A bunch of bananas, a box of condoms, and Vaseline.
At the checkout with 2 cans of dog food and a bottle of cheap wine, I was asked what kind of dog I had. I said I didn’t have a dog.
Ba dum tshhh
I’m so totally stealing this if I ever get this question. I don’t think quickly on my feet very well, but I can do a mean eyebrow-raised deadpan if I’ve internalized an answer.
Awesome typo/auto-correct.