Pitting a jury for sending that mother to prison.

The BBQ Pit
1

This one is for those heartless bastards in Santa Fe, New Mexico, who convicted Melissa French, a 27-year-old mother. Thanks to you, she now faces eighteen years in prison. Eighteen years, you bastards. Do you know what will happen in eighteen years? Well, here is what her attorney says:

French’s attorney, Stephen Aarons, said he was shocked by the jury’s verdict. He said French’s 3-year-old daughter, who suffers from cancer, will be dead and her 10-year-old son will be grown by the time French is released.

Don’t you bastards realize that these children need a mother? How heartless can you be?

But no, you had to convict her. Sure, she was involved in trying to arrange the castration of a former boyfriend. So what if she actually enlisted a group of male friends to go over and assault him? Yes, I will concede that they put an assualt rifle in the man’s mouth, fired it between his legs, and carved the word “narc” into his forehead. But let’s not be so judgmental here. Haven’t any of you ever had a real tough breakup?

As her lawyer notes, the point here is that you bastards are separating a mother from her children. How are they supposed to get along without her? Who is going to sing them to sleep? Who is going to bandage their scraped knees? Who is going to teach them how to organize a lynch mob? These kids will grow up not knowing how to inflame a bunch of yahoos into terrorizing other people. Isn’t that a part of growing up?

2

Maybe this woman should have thought about this before she arranged this whole thing.

3

I think that was the OP’s point, Computer Guru

4

yeah, my sarcas-o-meter is beeping, too.

However, I have learned that in the pit, one can never be too sure…

5

You know, a [/scarcasm] or a :rolleyes: would clear it up a whole lot for the slower Dopers.

6

:smack:

That would be sarcasm.

:smack:

7

I love this:

The word that must be going through her mind is…D’oh!

8

Genius. I love hearing about stories like that, means I’ll never be out of work.

9

Great OP! I really thought you were serious until you started talking about lynch mobs.

10

From the article:

So, if I get this right, she didn’t get convicted of anything directly related to the savage attack she arranged. She gets 18 years because they had to restrain the guy’s roomate during said attack. I guess they weren’t technically kidnapping the victim because they were too busy beating, stabbing and shooting at him.

The mind boggles.

BTW, great OP!

11

Yeah, I realized that after I posted that post. :smack:

12

or for those that don’t read the entire post. That’ll teach me. :o

13

This is as close a real-life example as I’ve seen of the textbook definition of chutzpah (“murdering your parents and begging for mercy because you’re an orphan”).

14

Free Melissa French!

[sarcasm]I finally have a cause.[/sarcasm]

15

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by CloudCar *
**Free Melissa French!

I’m with you. First thing we need to do is plan a rally. In order to get people to come, we have to offer them something free. I know, you make a bunch of paper hats. About 5000 should do. C’mon, we cannot allow Melissa French to be unjustly incarcerated!

16

Mmmm…sarcasm pie…<drool>

17

Well, obviously the jury, court systems etc, did the RIGHT thing despite the defense attorniey’s silly opinions.

18

For the record, I’ve heard people make this argument before when a woman is about to be sent away. They argue that the children need their mother. Well, children do need a mother. But it occurs to me that the various women who have bilked charities, run drug rings, murdered someone, or set a frenzied mob on an old boyfriend just might not be the best example for the wee tykes.

In other words, French’s lawyer deserves far more than one roll-eye. He deserves Ilsa_Lund’s wonderful, shimmering fountain of rolleyes.



                      :rolleyes:      :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:
  :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:          :rolleyes:      :rolleyes: :rolleyes:      :rolleyes:         :rolleyes:          :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:
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    :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:         :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:        :rolleyes:        :rolleyes:     :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:
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      :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:     :rolleyes: :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:       :rolleyes: :rolleyes:      :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:        :rolleyes:
 :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:    :rolleyes: :rolleyes:      :rolleyes:    :rolleyes: :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:      :rolleyes:     :rolleyes:          :rolleyes:     :rolleyes:
    :rolleyes:            :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:     :rolleyes:   :rolleyes: :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:     :rolleyes:   :rolleyes:               :rolleyes:
     :rolleyes:               :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:  :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:    :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:                 :rolleyes:
                        :rolleyes: :rolleyes:  :rolleyes:  :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:  :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
                            :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
                              :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes:
                               I :rolleyes: I
                 _______________III_______________
                /    :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:       :rolleyes:    \ 
               ( ~~~ :rolleyes:  ~~~  :rolleyes:  ~~~  :rolleyes:  ~~~  :rolleyes: ~~~ )
                 \SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS/
                    \ ======================= /
                        \SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS/
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                    (=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=)
                     ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
19

I am overcome with emotion. :::sob:::

20

Well, it is a fairly subtle parody - it’s a ridiculous stance, but otoh, one that many people adopt.