Pitting Girlfriend..lame/typical

The BBQ Pit
21

I got bitchy just reading this thread.

You don’t like how your GF talks to you or when she talks to you? Ok, how about YOU talk to her? Really talk to her–not cuss her out for taking you to task for something not yet done; not complain about her “bitchiness” when you seem to share the same trait; not “I don’t want to ruin a good mood with all this stuff.” BS.

Seriously–listen to yourself: when, exactly, is she supposed to bring stuff up? You don’t want to hear it when you’re already in a bad mood, and you don’t want to hear it and ruin a good mood? I suppose she could talk to you while you sleep, and she might get more out of it.

If she is as horrid and carping as you make her out to be, then leave her already and be done with it. If she is not, man up and find a time to talk to her–after dinner or mid-morning some Saturday. Say something like “I don’t like the way we communicate and I’d like to change it. How about we come up with a system to address both our needs?” and go from there. IOW, take responsibility for your half of the communication and tell her she needs to take responsibility for her half. Since you have not done anything like this for the past 6 years, expect some resistance on her part.

22

[QUOTE=billfish678]
Secondly, even if you ARE going to do it…don’t do it while they are busy doing something for YOU…

Thirdly, dont do it while they are busy doing something UNPLEASANT for YOU…

Fourthly, dont do it to get them to do something ELSE unpleasant for YOU while they are already doing something unpleasant for you..
[/QUOTE]

So is it her house/her sprinkler system or do you share it?

I don’t see how fixing something at your house equates to doing something nice for someone else.

23

Seriously, just dump her. Preferably before the next post. Stop being all bitchy on this board, man up, and do what you have to do.

And nobody gives a flying fuck if you use a billion ellipses when you talk. On the Internet, nobody can hear you whinge. In fact, actually listening to you complain about all this is probably the only thing I can imagine that would make this thread more off-putting. Just stop using so many ellipses when you type!

24

[QUOTE=Ravenman]
Seriously, just dump her. Preferably before the next post. Stop being all bitchy on this board, man up, and do what you have to do.

And nobody gives a flying fuck if you use a billion ellipses when you talk. On the Internet, nobody can hear you whinge. In fact, actually listening to you complain about all this is probably the only thing I can imagine that would make this thread more off-putting. Just stop using so many ellipses when you type!
[/QUOTE]

I love this one…she’s being bitchy is okay…me being bitchy is bad…I must MAN up…

The irony burns…phrases like bitchy get the feminist all bent outa shape…because its sexists in some way…yet other folks are tell me to get some balls, man up…yet those sexist phrases are okay dokay…

And someone is complaining about me complaining about my girlfriend complaining in the pit (me not her)…like whoa dude…thats so like out there and like cosmic dude…

The …s are driving some folks insane apparently…yet this guy/gal say use billions of em…or not..not quite sure on how to interpret that..

“On the internet no one can hear you “whinge””…guess that needs to be said in that movie trailer voice…like the one they used for the original Alien move…“in space, no one can hear you scream”

And the billions part is funny too…I can almost hear Carl Sagan saying it…
I apologize for skipping replying to some post that are trying to be helpful, informative, or at least conversational…I’ll get back to them later when I can devote the time they deserve for a thoughtful response…

I know this IS the pit…but if you think insulting me or drawing unflattering (and probably not true) conclusions about me is doing anything but make me laugh…you’d be wrong…

Back to the “bitchy” part…ask any man about my sprinkler/lawn mowing story…and if the word “bitchy” isnt what comes to their mind to descibe it I would be rather surprised…

thank again for the more thoughtful/helpful post all…

take care

Blll

25

[QUOTE=billfish678]
I love this one…she’s being bitchy is okay…me being bitchy is bad…I must MAN up…
[/quote]
No. She sounds like a pain in the ass. That’s why you need to dump her.

I’m not going out of my way to insult you. I’m trying to get the point across that a significant number of people have told you that this relationship deserves to be over, and also that there are higher standards of spelling, grammar, and punctuation expected on this board than on some others that are out there, and those points apparently need to be driven home with stark language, as you don’t seem to be accepting the good advice that others have already given.

26

Why are still in this relationship? It sounds like it has run its course. If it has, then get out.

27

[QUOTE=billfish678]

I am southern…we speak slowly and grammatically incorrectly…and we cant speel worth a durn neither…l
[/QUOTE]

Speak for yourself, Bubba. Almost all of the Southerners I’ve encountered on this board spell and punctuate correctly. They express themselves clearly. Don’t blame your bad writing on where you were raised.

28

This board is a lot closer to the JAMA than an IM conversation. I like your stream of conciousness style of writing, as it is alot like my own. However, you should probably dial it back a bit on the elipses so they have more impact. Using them correctly wouldn’t hurt either. There are three dots(…) in the middle of a sentence and four at then end when your thought just trails off… (The fourth dot is actually a period).

Hrm, what else…oh yeah…if you aren’t happy in your relationship, don’t bitch to us about it. What are we going to do? You can talk to her about it, stay the course, or dump her. Those are your options. There is nothing else you can do. If you want advice, then I woude advise you to talk to her first about it, see if you can resolve the issues you are having with each other (don’t think she doesn’t have issues with your behavior), then if you can’t reach a resolution, end the relationship. Period.

I hope you stick around on the board, and good luck to you.

29

[QUOTE=billfish678]
…according to her the sex isnt often enough/good enough
[/QUOTE]

Fuck her better

and more often

30

[QUOTE=billfish678]
which brings another peeve…according to her the sex isnt often enough/good enough
[/QUOTE]

The food here is so bad.

And the portions are so small!

31

No, we don’t. You might, but it’s not a standard element of being from the South. Have you noticed you’re the only one in this thread using such horrible, horrible grammar (including your random ellipses regurgitation?) That’s because this board encourages proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation. Quit holding down the “.” key. Once is enough to get your point across that the sentence has ended. Really.

(I wouldn’t have commented on someone’s grammar and risked the wrath of Gaudere’s Law if not for the wide brush with which you painted all Southerners.)

32

[QUOTE=Angel of the Lord]
No. It isn’t logical. It isn’t rational. People aren’t rational.

And. . .I’m sorry, but I personally really, really hate the use of the word bitchy. Bitchy implies a lack of reason; it implies that the other party couldn’t possibly have any legitimate reason for being upset. The word grates on me in this context, and it really doesn’t make me want to take your side.
[/QUOTE]
I know I should let this one go, but…the first paragraph establishes the second, yes? And in doing so, aren’t you thereby confirming his viewpoint?

I have to say, billfish678, I’m with you on this for the most part – but with some caveats. The biggest of which is that you’ve discussed this issue with her. Further, that she agrees it’s a problem and will attempt to change. And people can change, difficult though it may be.

If you’ve done both, all there is for it is patience or bailing out. If only the first, then deal or bail. If neither, then it’s pretty much your fault. I’m pretty sure it was Einstein that said, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result each time”. Whether that applies to you, her, or both is another matter, requiring more of your history than I’m likely to pay atten…ooh, look – shiny!

33

[QUOTE=billfish678]
I love this one…she’s being bitchy is okay…me being bitchy is bad…I must MAN up…

The irony burns…phrases like bitchy get the feminist all bent outa shape…because its sexists in some way…yet other folks are tell me to get some balls, man up…yet those sexist phrases are okay dokay…

And someone is complaining about me complaining about my girlfriend complaining in the pit (me not her)…like whoa dude…thats so like out there and like cosmic dude…

The …s are driving some folks insane apparently…yet this guy/gal say use billions of em…or not..not quite sure on how to interpret that..

“On the internet no one can hear you “whinge””…guess that needs to be said in that movie trailer voice…like the one they used for the original Alien move…“in space, no one can hear you scream”

And the billions part is funny too…I can almost hear Carl Sagan saying it…
I apologize for skipping replying to some post that are trying to be helpful, informative, or at least conversational…I’ll get back to them later when I can devote the time they deserve for a thoughtful response…

I know this IS the pit…but if you think insulting me or drawing unflattering (and probably not true) conclusions about me is doing anything but make me laugh…you’d be wrong…

Back to the “bitchy” part…ask any man about my sprinkler/lawn mowing story…and if the word “bitchy” isnt what comes to their mind to descibe it I would be rather surprised…

thank again for the more thoughtful/helpful post all…

take care

Blll
[/QUOTE]

If your real life conversational style is anything like your posting style, it’s very likely that your girlfriend is mostly right, and you’re mostly wrong. You do stuff just to piss people off, and it’s annoying. You don’t listen to what people tell you; you just expect everyone to assume that you’re right and she’s wrong just because you say so. You’re horrible at communicating, which has very little to do with ellipses and "uhhhhh…"s, and everything to do with not actually giving a fuck what people say to you. I haven’t even had a full conversation with you, and I can’t stand you. I have no idea how your girlfriend has done it long enough for you to consider her “long term”.

34

[QUOTE=Zebra]
Fuck her better

and more often
[/QUOTE]

But remember, that sometimes you’ve got to fuck her gently.

35

[QUOTE=Tenebras]
But remember, that sometimes you’ve got to fuck her gently.
[/QUOTE]
In fact, memorize this line: “That’s cool with me, it’s not my favorite but I’ll do it for you.”

36

My offhand impression:

I think she’s asserting her control. When you’re in an extremely good mood or an extremely bad mood, it means that you’re more inwardly focused and not focusing on her.

IOW, she’s jerking your leash. Heel, doggie!

ETA: would you or others describe her as “high maintenence”? If so, then there you go.

37

[QUOTE=DeadlyAccurate]

(I wouldn’t have commented on someone’s grammar and risked the wrath of Gaudere’s Law if not for the wide brush with which you painted all Southerners.)
[/QUOTE]

(Pssst: the question mark after ‘regurgitation’ should go after the parenthesis. ducks and runs :D)

38

[QUOTE=billfish678]
She is being bitchy (and has been from day one)
[/quote]

As you say. . . Does Not Compute!

If she’s always been bitchy since day one, how could she now be using this bitchy behavior? How would you notice the difference?

39

If you just want to vent about your relationship, you apparently need to know that if you do it on a public message board, people are going to respond to you, and not all of them will agree with you. Hard as it may be to take, though, the people responding to you might have some good advice for you.

You want a reason to write properly? You sound a whole lot smarter in my head when you do it. When you’re writing sloppily, we just assume you’re like the Rest of The Internet and can barely manage a coherent thought.

And “a lot” is two words, not “alot.” (That’s for other posters, not you, bill.)