I’m at work when the sudden urge to urinate hits me. I walk into the bathroom, notice one stall is in use, and just keep walking. All of a sudden, I hear my boss’ voice coming from the stall asking me a couple of questions about a project. He keeps talking so I basically have to stand there, listen, and reply while he sits there merrily contracting certain muscles that I don’t want to think about.
This vaguely disturbs me for 2 reason.
He feels perfectly comfortable talking in that situation. This does not strike me as the best place to talk business.
He somehow was looking to be able to tell it was me. Couldn’t have been the shoes, he had no angle to see. This means that while he sits there squeezing for all he is worth, he is peeking through the space between the doors and thinking of inane questions to pepper me with while I get to breathe his less than fragrant outpourings.
Oh what about when they stop you in the hall. I have even had my hand on the door to the bathroom when they stopped to talk about work. Yo dude, I am here for a reason. Talk to me on the way out not the way in. Also this is usually men, let me tell you something boss, it does not look good for you to be hanging out outside of the womens john.
What this tells me is that he forgot to take something to the shitter to read. He is so desperately bored of thinking about the dangling doo that he’s willing to chat just anyone who walks in the door. To avoid having to lurk outside his toilet stall (imagine how the looks to guys just walking in) in the future you need to derail his train of thought before he gets on a roll as it were. Perhaps a very solicitous question, “Is everything coming out all right?” No? Then maybe “Ooo, Bob. Burritos for breakfast?” Too personal? Let’s try to get him on your side! “Hey, Bob, do you mind if I pee while we chat?” I know! “Bob! Please! At least give us a mercy flush!”
As for you women out there, you just don’t get it. Most men feel very uneasy making business decisions with our dick in our hand. Unless yer a Rap Star… or the President.
A few years back my then-boss and I were attending a conference that had an extended break for lunch. I had the foresight to bring my workout gear, knowing that the facilities were near the Y. I mention to my boss that I"m going to skip lunch and workout. He tells me he thinks that’s a damn good idea and the he happens to have some gear in the car. So, we both go to the Y and workout.
We then proceed to go to the lockeroom and I head for the steam, loving as I do a good hot steam after a workout. Who should come in a sit down but my boss, yak yak yak about some project or another. Ruining my relaxation plus he’s wrapped only in a towel that does nothing to cover his ample girth. I decide I"ve had enough and hit the shower. He takes up residence beside me and proceeds to really get to work scrubbing and soaping and lathering etc to beat the band. All the while talking shop. I then realized that I had never seen my boss (or any other co-worker) naked before. I believe that I should have been compensated for having to endure it.
I had a boss who would squeeze in beside me to use the other one of two urinals in the men’s room, and talk to me with his pecker in his hand. There wasn’t enough room for one of us to shake without jostling the other. It wouldn’t have been nearly so bad (though still not pleasant), except the stall with a door was available.
So, Mully, this is the time for you to take advantage of those long skinny shanks of yours.
When your boss starts talking to you from the can, lean over the top of the door to respond. Remember to MAINTAIN EYE CONTACT at all times: do not allow your eyes to stray down to the polka-dot boxers bunched around his ankles.
And if he takes the urinal next to yours? Pee on his brogans. Works like a charm.
While during a field exercise when I was in the Air Force, we only had group showers available. That is not where I want to see my supervisor, much less have a discussion about work. I’m in the shower, that means my work shift is either over or hasn’t begun yet. Talk work to me AT WORK. Don’t bring it up (no pun intended) in the shower.
Outside the courtroom at your company embezzlement trial.
At the company Christmas party when you’re sober. (But you’ll blather endlessly when you’re drunk.)
At the free clinic pharmacy. :eek:
as it were. Perhaps a very solicitous question, “Is everything coming out all right?” No? Then maybe “Ooo, Bob. Burritos for breakfast?” Too personal? Let’s try to get him on your side! “Hey, Bob, do you mind if I pee while we chat?” I know! “Bob! Please! At least give us a mercy flush!”