Well, we are now into the spring season of Ghanima’s Plant Survivor at the exotic locale of Ghanima’s Balcony, and it’s time for the recap episode. Team Cactus has definitely taken a beating this last year, with the unusually cold weather and the occasional biblical flood, but Team Greenleaf has really suffered the major losses. We started out the show by putting everyone out on the balcony during the summer last year. While the sunshine was good, the distinct lack of water left Team Greenleaf looking a bit limp. Relocating the tribe to the back of the balcony where they could have a little shade seemed to help, but leaves were still dropping like flies. The occasional watering (completely random, as our host Ghanima is a bit forgetful about these things) did keep Team Greenleaf alive and in the running, with the exception of our diminutive contestant with the small silver-veined leaves (Name Forgotten), which was quickly eliminated in the summer heat. Soon to follow was Cannabis Sativa, who was really just a novelty contestant and confined to a very small pot, and who Security decided to eliminate before she began to flower and jeopardize the show. Just a few months into the show, two of Team Greenleaf had already been eliminated.
Then came the Fertilizer Challenge. Who would qualify to receive part of the limited supply of slightly moldy fertilizer sticks that had been sitting out on the balcony for months? Team Greenleaf seemed to pull ahead by totally dominating this challenge. Friendship Plant, Jade Plant, Exotic Bunch Grass and Possibly Dracaena all received fertilizer. But would it be enough to beat out the seemingly natural hardiness of Team Cactus? As the summer dragged on, it seemed that this year would be no contest.
But then the early spring rain started, and everyone was moved to the front of the balcony to receive the benefit of free water. Whoops! Big mistake! After a week or two of near constant rain, some of the plants were looking a bit soggy, particularly Exotic Bunch Grass, which had no drain hole, and Christmas Cactus, whose pot was placed in a decorative container that had completely filled with water. Random Assorted Cactus Pot also began to look a bit pale. It was at this point that contestant Spider Plant, who had really suffered through the summer, began to show her stuff. She began to look quite a bit greener and her leaves, which had been practically folded in half all summer, opened up. The deluge clearly agreed with her.
As the winter pressed on, Team Cactus started to look a little yellow, with the exception of Strange Succulent as well as the Small Round Cactus that had turned red long ago and otherwise has shown no sign of life. Small Round Cactus could very well be dead, but since Ghanima does not wish to get stuck by his sharp cactus spines, he has been allowed to stay in the competition. But Team Cactus was not the only one showing signs of distress. Contestant Exotic Bunch Grass began to turn yellow in earnest even as the winter began to fade and the contestants were allowed more hours of light each day. Exotic Bunch Grass rapidly deteriorated, and was eliminated in the next round. The empty pots were beginning to stack up!
Contestant Possibly Dracaena looks like she is about to be eliminated, since most of her leaves have fallen off and the rest have turned yellow and have begun to brown along the edges. But her new growth may turn out to be her saving grace. Our host Ghanima decided to award Possibly Dracaena the award for Most Pitiful Contestant. She was given a larger pot with new soil. Team Cactus seems to be losing momentum as Strange Succulent, Small Round Cactus, and Christmas Cactus have all begun to turn various shades of yellow and red. To even the odds, Ghanima also gave two of the Team Cactus contestants slightly larger pots and fresh soil.
Don’t forget to tune in next season for the next episode of Plant Survivor. Team Greenleaf will get a new lease on life as it acquires new teammates Tomato Plant and Oregano! Will the summer heat destroy Team Greenleaf? Will Ghanima remember to water her plants? Or will Team Cactus start dropping like flies? Tune in and find out!
All contestants have been informed of the rules of Plant Survivor and have agreed that Ghanima is exempt of liability for any death, discoloration or dismemberment that may occur due to any neglect or actions taken by Ghanima.