The Six Stepford Wives of Henry VIII
They were all pretty much perfect . . .
Citizen Mondo Cane
Obsessive newspaper magnate tours the world’s weirdest and sleaziest venues.
Kindergarten Robocop - The horrendously understaffed Detroit school system recruits one of the city’s finest.
1.) Protect the Innocent.
2.) Serve the Grape Juice.
3.) Uphold the Law.
Birth of an Alien Nation- haunting and well done but controversial masterpiece in which the KKK rescues the nation after a near takeover by humanoid aliens.
Remains of the Independence Day-haunting and well done but boring masterpiece in which a repressed British butler serves a deluded master who believes the newly arrived humanoid extraterrestrials will be the salvation of mankind.
Summer of Sam I Am- haunting and well done but controversial masterpiece in which a retarded and lovable serial killer stalks Manhattan.
The Elephant Man Who Never Was- based on the true story of the attempt to convey false information to the Nazis by planting it on a dead sideshow attraction.
Auntie Maim- Quentin Tarantino’s tale of a lovable orphan (Haley Joel Osment, who had to have puberty surgically reversed to take the role) and his life with his aunt (Uma Thurman), a sadistic but lovable hitwoman for an L.A. crime syndicate. (Samuel Jackson and Thurman sing the hit duet “We’ll Always Be Bosom Fuckin’ Buddies, Bitch!”)
Omen Alone - Two hapless robbers plan a Christmas crime spree, but little Damien is determined to defend his house.
**Back in the Blazing Saddles ** - Gene Autrey, meet Cleavon Little.
Run, Lolita, Run - Teenage girl imagines three different scenarios for seducing her neighbor.
Risky Monkey Business - Tom Cruise enjoys time partying at home alone, until the Marx Brothers pop by for a visit.
12 Angry Mystery Men - Misfit band of superheroes are called together to act as judge, jury, and executioner… well, jury, anyway. “When deciding a case of jurisprudence, one must first find prudent jurists!”
Inherit the Wind in the Willows- When Rat says that he got his tail through an evolutionary process, Toad takes him to court to prove that Intelligent Design is what separates the amphibians from the rodents.
And Then There Were Singing Nuns Somebody is using guitar strings to strangle the Sisters of Hoboken. From the producers who thought Nunsense had gone just a little too far.
Tequila Sunrise at Campobello- when drugdealers put the president in a wheelchair, it’s up to his wife and her “special assistant” Lorena to get payback. (Stars Edward Hermann as FDR, Goldie Hawn as Eleanor, and Kurt Russell as Lorena Hickock.)
Music Man of a Thousand Faces
Lon Chaney gives Harold Hill pointers on how to elude capture.
Kill Bilko - Steve Martin recreates Phil Silvers’s classic role - but this time, one of Bilko’s moneymaking schemes has pushed one woman way too far.
Hagrid and the Angry Inch - In his summers away from Hogwart’s, Hagrid leads a different life…
Star Trek V : The Final Fantasy Frontier - Kirk and the gang head into the center of the galaxy in search for God… but all they find is crappy CGI.
The Muppets Take Manhattan Murder Mystery
Kermit, Miss Piggy and the gang of loveables help Woody Allen and Diane Keaton solve a crime.
The Fisher King & I–Young English school teacher befriends a deranged homeless man.
The World According to Garpo Talks–Silent elusive film actor/quirky writer finally speaks.
What About Blob? - Therapist goes on vacation, but his most co-dependent (and amorphous) client follows close behind…
**
Bridge on the River Qui-Gon** - Alec Guinness as Obi-Wan Kenobi, forced into an Imperial labor camp…
The Grand Hotel Newhampshire
Cast of quirky characters from pre-war Berlin meet up with a cast of zany characters from post cold war America in this time travel farce.
**Quiggly Down Under The Rainbow ** - Tom Selleck and Alan Rickman in the outback are set upon by the munchkin cast of The Wizard of Oz!
Gosford Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut - British aristocrats and their foul-mouthed servants wage war on Canada.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
**Life is Beautiful Girls ** - Roberto Benigni keeps his son’s hope alive in the ghetto with stories of Natalie Portman.
The Swiss Family Addams - The creepiest family this side of the Munsters gets stranded on a deserted island.
American Pi - Genius is convinced that if he can only find a way to mathematically represent nature, he’ll lose his virginity.
Training Day for Night - Life imitates art as the police advisor on a film about police corruption becomes suspect of police corruption.
Wildcats and Dogs - Children’s movie in which Goldie Hawn begins coaching a football team locked in perpetual war with canines.
Dinner at 8 Mile a young rapper deals with his social status by inviting a bunch of fashionable swells to a dinner party.
Red Dawn of the Dead - Patrick Swayze and Charlie Sheen lead a group of Colorado high schoolers as they fend off an invasion of Soviet zombies.