I, Robot Monster – Will Smith tries to stop an army of men in gorilla suits and space helmets from revolting. Will annoy Asimov purists.
The Killing Field of Dreams - A New York Times reporter and his Cambodian aide report on the events at a magical baseball field in the Iowa countryside. Will the aide be allowed to leave, or will he be forced to play catch with Kevin Costner for all eternity?
Secondhand Lions in Winter
The King is left in the care of his two cantankerous uncles.
A Midsummer Night’s Dream for an Insomniac
A neurotic wannabe actress in a company preparing to present a play at the Prince’s wedding looks for love with the help of a mischievous fairy and a jackass.
The Last Tango and Cash in Paris
Kurt Russell, Sylvester Stallone, Marlon Brando, and butter. Let’s stop right there.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secret Windows
J.K. Rowling takes Johnny Depp down.
Deep Blue Sea of Love
A serial killer shark eludes Al Pacino and eats Sam Jackson.
Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace II Society
Jedi in the hood.
Walkabout Last Night - Two yuppies from the Windy City endure the trials and tribulations of modern dating while attempting to survive in the Australian outback.
Star Wars 80 - A beautiful young woman finds success as a holo-porn model, but her deathstick-addicted husband is no match for the Dark Side.
Kiss of the Spider-Man - After J.J. Jameson’s negative campaign finally lands the young vigilante in prison, he and his gay cellmate struggle to understand one another’s lifestyle choices.
Around the Underworld in 80 Days - An all-star extravaganza chronicling Phileas Fogg’s daring journey through the gritty, seamy landscape of the vampire/werewolf wars.
The Sound of Das Boot – Captain von Trapp is pressed into Nazi German’s submarine corps, and helps lighten the claustrophobia and nail-biting suspense with a few rousing musical numbers.
Godzpella – A group of Jesus freak hippies destroy Manhattan with their radioactive breaths while enacting the parables.
Saving Silverado: A group of old west cowboys set out to “save” their buddy from marrying a mean and manipulative saloon owner.
**Star Wars : The Empire Strikes Back to the Future ** - Young Marty Solo just wants to be an entertainer. Unfortunately, he gets tangled up with his pal Doc Brown’s temporal experiments … and before you know it, he’s gone back 30 years, to the Battle of Hoth! After nearly being run over by a snow speeder, he finds that his mother Leia has fallen in love with him! Can Marty get history back on track and curtail his mother’s incestuous attraction? Featuring ‘The Power of Love’ performed by the Max Rebo Band.
The Life Boat of Brian
Alfred Hitchcock directed the Mony Python troop and Tallulah Bankhead in this taut comic thriller about a young Jewish man who is mistaken for the messiah onboad a lifeboat filled with the survivors of a Nazi submarine attack. Look for Hitch’s cameo as Mary.
The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T and the Women – adult update of the Dr. Seuss musical
Scooby Doo the Right Thing a big, dumb dog and his slacker friend, a pizza delivery guy, bumble their way into a race riot.
The Long Goodbye, Mr. Chips investigating the murder of his friend’s wife, Phillip Marlowe finds clues that lead to an elderly English school headmaster.
Singin’ in the Black Rain
An American silent-movie star in Japan. Their country. Their laws. Their game. “Gotta killlll!”
**The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the Seventh Seal ** - Buckaroo Banzai has overcome every challenge in his long and storied career. But with the life of friend Rawhide on the line, can he defeat Death itself at a game of chess?
Driving Little Miss Marker
Shirley Temple and Bill “Bojangles” Robinson in their most tearjerking film.
The Road to Endor - Pals Luke Skywalker (Bob Hope) and Han Solo (Bing Crosby) have come a long way, and they’ve got just a little farther to go. Up against the Galactic Empire, can these two con men manage to save their own hides, much less the Rebellion? With Dorothy Lamour as Princess Leia. Don’t miss Han and Leia’s number, “Moon over Endor” and Luke and Han’s classic escape from Imperial custody… “Patty-cake, Patty-cake, Baker’s Man… Bake me a cake as fast as you… WHAM!”
Fried Soylent Green Tomatos
A housewife who is unhappy with her life befriends an old lady in a nursing home—then she learns the secret of the home’s kitchen . . .
This is just wonderful. A classic thread in the making.
Pump up the Iron - Christian Slater runs a renegade radio station, but gets into trouble when listener Arnie dies from a steroid overdose.
Death Race 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea
Captain Nemo, Frankenstein and Machine Gun Joe Viturbo race across the Pacific in a cutthroat competition. 125 points for hitting a blue whale.
It Happened One Night at the Roxbury
A spoiled heiress, running away from her family, is helped by two hapless wannabe players.
Die Hard to Kill
Bruce Willis, Steven Seagal, and a shitload of explosions. Who needs plot?
42nd Streetcar Named Desire
Stanley and Stella “Shuffle Off to Buffalo” and leave Blanche behind with a sprained ankle.
Stand By Me, Myself & Irene
Hilarious coming-of-age story about four teens, a dead body, and a state trooper with multiple personality disorder.
I have done no work today. sigh
I heard it’s just a remake of John Woo’s classic Die Hard-Boiled, where Chow Yun-Fat’s tough-as-nails cop has to blow away every last terrorist in a Hong Kong office tower.
Faster, Pussycat! Kill Bill! - Elite squad of stripper-assassins think they’ve killed one of their own - who then comes back looking for revenge on them and the boss.
True Romance Stories
The Talking Heads and Quentin Tarantino collaborate on this musical of crime, drugs, and guns, this month on Lifetime.
Taxi Driver Zum Clo
Robert DeNiro stars as a disguntled Vietnam vet who explores his sexuality in the decadent gay nightlife of Berlin.
Big Night of the Living Dead
A cook and his brother sort out their relationship as they cook truckloads of pasta to fend off the hungry undead.