Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte’s Web
Olivia deHavilland and Joseph Cotton attempt to steal Bette Davis’ inheritance by slowly driving her insane. An animated pig, spider, and rat come to the rescue. With the voices of Paul Lynde and Debbie Reynolds.
The Cat in the Hat on a Hot Tin Roof
Mendacity! Mendacity! Cried fat, old Burle Ives.
While Paul Newman and Liz tried to sort out the lies.
Mike Myers and Dame Judy (Anderson by name)
Shoot Madeline Sherwood and Gooper down in hot flames.
I’d come up with the same title, but didn’t know what to do with it. Probably because I’ve never seen either movie.
An American Handmaid’s Tale, however is a movie with cartoon mice singing catchy songs about an oppressive Christian theocracy in the not-too-distant future.
Who could forget the Disney classic, Gone With the Wind in the Willows? Poor Mr. Toad has a hard time adjusting to life in the Reconstruction-era South.
Hellboys Don’t Cry. Funny description left as exercise to the imagination of the reader.
Night of the Living Iguana
Defrocked zombie Richard Burton, working as a tourgide in Mexico, tries to eat the brains of Ava Gardner, Deborah Kerr and Sue Lyon.
Night of the Living Hunter
Previously dead psychotic crook Robert Mitchum, disguised as a preacher, stalks two children because (a) they know where the stolen money is, and (b) he wants to eat their brains.
Night of the Living Lepus
Giant zombie rabbits terrorize western town.
(Because even a bad movie is better with zombies.)
A Star is Born on the Fourth of July - James Mason plays a movie star whose career is in decline. Tom Cruise plays a disabled Vietnam veteran who returns from the war and gets involved in the anti-war movement. They meet and fall in love. But as Norman’s career falls, Ron’s status in the protest movement rises, and tensions threaten to tear their union apart. The film’s climax comes as Ron speaks at a anti-war rally on the Mall in Washington, where he exclaims “I am Mrs. Norman Maine!”
Gone with the Mighty Wind
Reunited after years apart, will Rhett and Scarlett kiss at the end of the rainbow?
Kiss Me, Kate and Leopold
Hugh Jackman romances Howard Keel and Meg Ryan in this bisexual musical takeoff on Shakeespeare.
BUtterfield-8 Mile
A beautiful New York party girl struggles with her anger through rap music.
Catch-22 Me If You Can - Leonardo DiCaprio stars as the lovable hustler who, in an effort to impress his beloved, impoverished father, impersonates an entire squadron of bomber pilots in WWII North Africa.
The Wicker Man Who Came to Dinner - Overbearing pagan deity turns middle-class household topsy turvy after injuring self while roasting Edward Woodard alive on front sidewalk.
Donnie Darkman - High school lad, driven to madness by the twisting, turning nature of reality around him, becomes a vigilante after destroying his own face.
All About The Lady Eve - Young would-be actress shows her vindictive side as she tries to come between her mentor (Barbara Stanwyck) and her fiancee/manager (Henry Fonda) while on a cruise.
How Green Was My Valley of the Dolls
At the turn of the century in a Welsh mining village, the Morgans raise a family of sexy, pill-popping, coal-mining sons. "God? It’s me . . . Gwilym . . . Gwilym Morgan!!!
Attack of the 50 Foot Little Women Jo, Beth, Amy and Meg come of age, meet aliens, grow to enormous size and take revenge on their enemies
And what the heck, everyone else has done one
In the Heat of the Night of the Living Dead racial tensions smoulder between a bigoted Southern sheriff and his black deputy as they battle zombies.
That wasn’t Bergman’s film - Vilgot Sjöman directed it.
Therefore… I Am Curious (Blue Streak)
Martin Lawrence disguises himself as a cop to study 1960s Swedish society and ends up getting scabies from a couple who picks him up hitchhiking, meanwhile having an affair with both the film’s director and a fellow actor, and interviewing various locals for a ‘documentary’ about a stolen diamond.
The fiance’s suggestion upon being shown the thread:
When Harry and the Hendersons Met Sally - meg ryan hits bigfoot with her car when driving from college to new york. they fall in love years later.
and one more for me:
Austin Powers: International Mystery Men - “Ow! That hurt! Really now, who throws a bowling ball, silverware, a shovel, or their own BO?”
The Muppets Take Pelham 1-2-3
I saw this one on a button, so I can’t take credit:
2001 Dalmations – “My Stars! It’s full of Dogs!”
Broken Heinlein’s Starship Super-Troopers
A zany group of State Mobile Infantry recruits freak out stoners and fight CGI bugs in this screwball-comedy/propaganda satire/silly excuse for a co-ed shower scene.
Dr. Zhivago meets Abbot and Costello
Set in the turbulent years after the Russian Revolution, this sweeping dramedy follows Omar Sharif as he tries to find his true love, only to meet Abbott and Costello in a frozen summerhouse.
“Hey, Abbott! Have we seen anybody named Laura? Nope - haven’t seen her. Say, ever seen us do our ‘Who’s On First Routine?’”
Pardon My Full Metal Jacket
Bing, Bob, and Dottie Lamour have to endure R. Lee Ermey’s onslaught as a Drill Instructor during basic training, and are then sent to Vietnam where hilarity ensues. Songs include, “We’re Off On The Road To Saigon,” and “Put 'Er There, You Maggot Piece of Shit, Put 'Er There!”
Playing Godzilla
David Duchovny loses his medical license and is coerced by Timothy Hutton into destroying downtown Tokyo.
The Breakfast Club at Tiffany’s
Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, and Audrey Hepburn play teenagers who sneak out of Saturday detention to grab some coffee and a bagel in front of a jewelry store.
Johnny Dangerously Liasons
Michael Keaton and Marilu Henner banter amid the conniving and deception of French aristocracy. Original title song by Weird Al.
National Lampoon’s Animal House of Yes
Parker Posey joins the Deltas at the Homecoming Parade and shoots Tori Spelling.
This is Spinal Taps
Old rockers who just can’t get it up anymore play a military academy prom.
**28 Days Later ** - Sandra Bullock emerges from a second bout of Rehab to find the world overrun by zombies… no?
How about…
Charlie’s Angels in the Outfield - An elite and sexy team of female detectives help a floundering baseball team get to the championship…
Or…
**Mr. Smith Goes to Wonderland ** - No, not the porn star movie.
Jimmy Stewart plays a man tapped to fill a seat in Oz’s representative government. When the Wicked Media Mogul of the East tries to shut him down, can the Lollipop Guild get the word out to the people of Munchkinland?
A Few Good Men and a Baby - “You can’t handle the poop!”