The Big Doll House of 1,000 Corpses: Female inmates battle sadistic lesbian zombies. With Shirley Stoler, Stella Stevens, and Rob Zombie.
Sweet Sweetback’s Badassss Song of Bernadette: Tired of seeing visions in Lourdes, Bernadette hops the A-train to Harlem. Co-starring Bernie Casey.
Babe: Pig in the Naked City - in this noir classic, a charming little pig helps the NYPD solve a murder.
**The Waterworld is Not Enough ** - “Dry land is not a myth… nor are dry martinis.”
Somebody shoot me. sigh
Arsenic and Old Yeller
Batty old aunts poison the dog.
My Own Private Oklahoma!
Young male prostitutes have a hoedown.
Manos: Hands of Fatal Attraction
So bad, the bunny was begging for it.
Big Trouble in Little Chinatown -
“The is Jake Gittes, in the Porkchop Express…”
“I can see things nobody else can see.”
“It’s Chinatown, Jake.”
You know, I’d pay to see this one.
The Creature from the Blue Lagoon – Brooke Shields ensnares the crew of the Rita in her Eyebrows of Doom as they try to collect specimens.
Shadow of a Doubtfire - Young girl Charlie begins to have suspicions about her ‘Aunt’ Charlie…
The Bad Speed
Keanu Reeves needs to stop a mad little-girl bomber before she destroys a city bus.
Raging Bull Durham
Is it boxing or baseball? Who cares, DeNiro beats the shit out of Kevin Costner.
Undercover Brother, Where Art Thou? - Eddie Griffin as a 70’s-style blaxploitation hero in a retelling of Homer’s Odyssey.
Big Daddy Lebowski - The Dude is stuck with the care and feeding of a little child. All goes well, until the kid is abducted by nihilists. And they ruined the rug. The rug really pulled the room together, man.
North Dallas Forty Days and 40 Nights
Josh Hartnett gives up football for Lent.
Run Silent, Run Deep Throat
Linda Lovelace runs amok at the submarine races…
The Princess Bride of Frankenstein - “Monsters of unusual size? I don’t believe they exist.”
Sling Blade Runner: Billy Bob Thornton battles replicants.
Hedwig and the Angry Red Planet: Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus?
Three Coins in the Fountainhead: One man’s struggle against collectivism, set against the backdrop of scenic Italy.
Rain of Fire: Joan Crawford vs fire-breathing dragons. It’s a fair fight.
Flying Down to Rio Bravo: Fred Astaire and John Wayne were never lovelier together.
ExcaliBurn Hollywood Burn!" King Arthur grows dissatisfied with the quest for the Grail and tries to have his name taken off the project.
…and ends up with seamen all over her.
A Star is Born Free
Elsa, the rising young cub, gets involved with the washed-up, alcoholic MGM lion.
My Left Tootsie
A profoundly handicapped cross dresser uses his foot to win fame and recognition in the world of daytime soap operas.
Paint Your Thunderdome
Lee Marvin, Clint Eastwood, and Tina Turner star in this tale of a rag tag bunch of futuristic oil drillers, one of whom buys Tina Turner from her Mormon husband. Includes the classic song, “They Call The Wind Mel Gibson.”
Never Say Never On Sunday
A good-hearted Greek prostitute has stolen two American nuclear warheads, and James Bond must find their targets before they are detonated.
"The Unbearable Lightness of Being John Malkovich"
Nuf Said
Uncle Buckaroo Banzai Macaluay Culkin is relucantly left with his gone-to-seed uncle, who turns out to be an alien-fighting brain surgeon/nuclear physicist/rock star.
The One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest - Jet Li travels to parallel universes to kill an alternate version of himself stuck in a mental hospital.
40 Days and 40 Nights of Thunder - Josh Hartnett gives up sex upon entering the NASCAR circuit, only to be drawn to a doc played by Nicole Kidman.
I Am Sam Jackson - Jackson plays an arms dealer fighting for custody of his daughter Lucy. Tarantino directs, and samples heavily from the Beatles’ catalogue.
Bravehearts in Atlantis - Anthony Hopkins plays a mysterious man who leads the Scots into battle against the British.
Chicken Run, Lola, Run - Claymation movie voiced by Franke Potente about chickens that have only twenty minutes to escape their prison, examining the results of decisions along the way.
I’d keep going, but I’m running out of ideas. Oh, and I’m done work. This has done wonders for keeping me out of boredom all day.