UHF 1138
Weird Al Yankovic escapes a futuristic underground society to form his own TV station.
Twelve Angry Monkeys
Jury deliberations in a mental institution. And poo-flinging.
Indiana Jones and the Last Dragon
“Who’s the archaeologist?” “Sho’ 'nuff!”
Star Wars: The Empire Records Fights Back
The Rebel Alliance attempts to save their small independent music store from Vader and the Stormtroopers.
Evil Dead Under The Son of Frankenstein
Bruce Campbell and Hercule Poirot team up to fight nasty zombies and the mad Dr’s creation all over Egypt. Don’t miss the wacky chase scene around the pyramids with a thrilling finale in the Valley of the Kings. Featuring a cameo by Abbott and Costello.
Wilde at Heart: Sailor and Oscar in a cross-country spree of mayhem and wit.
Return of the Secaucus Seven Samurai: I know, the seven samurai bit’s been done to death; I panicked.
Barbershop Around the Corner
A South Side Chicago manicurist and barber find out they’ve been corresponding with each other through a Lonely Hearts column.
Follwed by the slightly convoluted remake entitled **‘You’ve Got I Was A Male War Bride’ ** with Meg Ryan, Cary Grant, Ann Sheridan and Tom Hanks.
His Girl Friday the 13th
A wisecracking female reporter is gunned down in the newsroom. Eleven years later, reporters at the paper are systematically slaughtered. Could it be Hildy Johnson back from the grave?
Saving Private Parts
A team of lawyers from the ACLU must battle John Ashcroft to save the last civil liberties by defending Howard Stern.
The Sixth Sense and Sensibility
Troubled young boy claims to be able to converse with characters from Jane Austen novels.
The Boys in the Bandwagon
A group of aging chorusboys get together to put on a show
The Eternal Shining of the Spotless Mind
An axe-wielding Jack Nicholson chases Jim Carrey through his own psyche, carving away any memories of the time he and his ex-girlfriend spent the winter alone in a Rocky Mountain hotel.
Darby O’Gill and the Little Mermaid
Can 2 mythical beings from different worlds find true love? See the exciting battle between the King of the Leprechauns and King Triton unfold in breathtaking splendor an the IMAX screen!
"Cat in the Hatful of Rain" - junkie feline tries to cope with life while dealing with pesky children, born and unborn.
and along similar lines:
"Singin’ in the Hatful of Rain" - silent movie stars of the 20s battle addiction and downpours in this downhearted musical.
which leads me to:
"Petticoat Junkies" - TV movie made into a feature of downtrodden heroin addicts in the backwater, who are saved when visiting neighbor Lisa Douglas (Eva Gabor) makes an intervention.
"Reefer Madness of King George" (has this been done already? if so, i apologize!)
Inbreeding and cannabis make for a deadly mix in this decadent tale of olde englande.
"Easy, Rider" - documentary. We follow Winona Ryder as she shops thru Beverly Hills sans credit cards. “The Simple Life in Stripes!” raves Variety.
"To Be, or to Have and Have Not to be": Jack Benny, Carole Lombard, Bogie and Bacall star in the original version of “Bob+Carol+Ted+Alice,” with a Shakespearean twist.
The Lord of the Ring
Frodo Baggins watches a video of a mysterious flaming eye, and has seven days to get to murder and uncover the secret of Saurama’s (or, if you prefer, Saurdako’s) murder by Isildur.
“No, you weren’t supposed to help my precious!”
Kill Christ
Quentin Tarantino and Mel Gibson’s collaborative kung-fu/Biblical epic of a swordswoman known only as “The Jew” (Uma Thurman) and her quest for vengeance against her former rabbi.
THe House on Haunted Hill Street Blues
A group of cops is invited by an eccentric millionaire to spend the night in a creepy old stationhouse. Whoever lasts the night will get shiny new buttons for their dress uniform.
The Wackiest Ship in the Army of Darkness
Ash (Bruce Campbell) joins the armed forces and is given command of a garbage scow. Buried within the junk is the rotting corpse of a Nazi occultist (Jack Lemmon), who rises from the grave and brings along some friends from the other side.
Assault on a Queen of the Damned
Vampires plot to steal a shipment of blood from a famous ocean liner.
Hellboys On The Side
Three women on a road trip find friendship, respect, and unimaginable horror when they help a demon defeat a Lovecraftian monster.
Tora! Tora! Torn Curtain Japanese plans to attack Pearl Harbor are complicated by defections of scientitst between the Axis and Allies. Watch for the Hitchcok cameo on the deck of the carrier Akagi.
Eyes of Laura Mars Attacks Exciting whodunnit starring Nicholson spoiler as the guy who did it.
Jamaica Innerspace Hitchcock goes sci-fi
The Fabulous Baker Boyz N the Hood South Central L.A. makes whoopie.
Dog Day of the Locust: Al Pacino holds a bank hostage in a bid for better parts in 1930s Hollywood.