The Front Page Miss Glory
Small town girl heads to the Big Apple and snags a newspaper tycoon in the process.
has this been done? ** The Rocky Horror Picture Showgirls **
Paul Verhoeven’s eye for female flesh and plants.
Brilliant. I suppose Statler and Waldorf would have the Walter Matthau role, but hich one gets Robert Shaw’s role?
Female Trouble in Little China
Career criminal Dawn Davenport (Divine) gets dragged into a centuries-old mystical battle in Chinatown. (This would actually be a great movie!)
What Price Hollywood Canteen?
“I got five bucks–c’n I get in?”
Sullivan’s Travels with My Aunt
A Hollywood director takes to the road with his zany aunt to research a dramatic film.
Escape From New York, New York
Liza Minnelli and Robert De Niro find love and success in post-apocalyptic Manhattan.
Gorilla’s in the Mister Roberts Beasts in an WWII ensign. :eek:
Heaven can Wait untill DarkBlind football player goes to heaven and is besieged by a bad man.
Dressed to Kill a Mockingbird Pullizer Prize Brian dePalma’s tale of a psycho killer with a daughter named Scout
Village of the Damn Yankees
Group of towheaded children head to Washington to try and win the pennant.
All the King Kong’s Men
The rise of corrupt politician and giant ape Willie Stark (Broderick Crawford) from the county seat to the top of the Empire State Building.
Eight Men In and Out
Shoeless Joe Jackson announces in the national press that the entire 1919 White Sox roster was gay. Hilarity ensues.
Long Day’s Journey into Night of the Living…
OK, now I’ve gone too far.
If so, here’s one:
Battlestar Potemkin - A mutinous Tsarist battleship becomes the last hope for the human race after a devastating Cylon attack.
But now back to cinematic movies:
I Am Curious (Psycho) - A young girl tries to learn everything she can about life from the man who runs a lonely roadside motel with his mother.
The Hindenburg: Airport '37 - George Kennedy picked a bad day to quit filling zeppelins with helium.
20,000 Leagues Over Tokyo - In the aftermath of Pearl Harbor, the U.S. miltary enlists Captain Nemo to organize a bombing mission against the Japanese Islands.
Shaft in Casablanca - Casablanca’s Prefect of Police hires John Shaft to track down the man who stole the letters of transit. Co-starring Pam Grier as Djam’ilsa.
Driving Miss Hellraiser - Morgan Freeman gets a job chauffering Jessica Tandy, who happens to be a demonic entity from Hell summoned by an ancient puzzle box.
Cheaper by the Dirty Dozen - An effiency expert and/or Steve Martin becomes the leader of a group of ex-convicts in order to blow up a gathering of Nazi officers.
Bringing Down the Blob - Queen Latifah is an escaped convict who not only invades Steve Martin’s cozy middle class lifestyle, but brings a ravenous, destructive alien blob-creature with her.
Master Harold and Maude
Hilarity ensues when an eccentric senior citizen teams up with a racist South African for wacky Apartheid escapades.
Silent Runnings
Bruce Dern takes the the first Jamaican Olympic bobsled team into space and teaches them gardening.
AMADEUS
A cynical musician survives the Korean War by wise-cracking and composing music for the casualties.
Touch of 976-Evil
Demented teen wreaks havoc in a small border town when he clashes with with a federal agent and local authorities.
Halloween III: Season of the Withcjes of Eastwick
There’s cherry pitzapoppin when those 3 wacky witches clash with the evil maskmaker to see who is the scariest
Dirty Dancing at Lhunasa
5 sisters decided to open a strip club in their small village
Calendar Girls Gone Wild
Those sexy seniors are headed to Ft Lauderdale for Spring Break
Gone With The Wind in 60 Seconds
Scarlett and Rhett try to outrun Union troops and the burning of Atlanta in their turbo charged buggy
My Spider Man Godfrey: Wacky Carole Lombard rescues Peter Parker from the ashpile and they embark on a new life of crimefighting.
**The Girl Can’t HELP! ** Jayne Mansfield and the Beatles romp in this wacky 60s adventure.
The Corn is Soylent Green: Miss Moffatt and Chuck Heston in the future - New York, 2002.
**
El Cid and Nancy** - Charlton Heston meets groupie Nancy Spungen and stabs her to death at the Chelsea Hotel.
The V.I.Pee Wee’s Big Adventure: Liz, Dick, and Pee Wee … need I say more?
Man, lose Internet access for 40 hours and you miss all kinds of things… I hope I’m not too late.
Village People of the Damned- Alan Carr is back and bigger than ever with this thriller about a fog that lifts over a New England town where nine months later every fertile woman gives birth to a gay archetype.
The Red Shoe Diary of Anne Frank & Ernest- from Showtime and the producers of Scooby Doo and Pianist comes this tale of a young Jewish girl in an attic who keeps her sanity with erotic fantasies of two CGI Sunday comics characters.
The Color of Purple Money- an abused black woman in Jim Crow era Georgia embarks on a journey of self discovery when Fast Eddie Felson teaches her pool.
Auntie Monster- an orphan’s world is turned upside down when he’s sent to live with his irrepressible serial killing lesbian aunt.
Singing in the Purple Rain- Gene Kelly is the Prince of silent films, but when he goes insane and begins referring to himself by a symbol, Donald O’Connor and Apollonia must invent lipsynching to save him.
Bringing Up Rosemary’s Baby- Lighthearted thriller in which Cary Grant and Katharine Hepburn must live together while rearing the spawn of The Beast.
A League of their Own Private Idaho When the Mariners are called to active duty in Iraq on the eve of the championship game, the City Council of Seattle replaces them at the last minute with coke addicted male prostitutes, learning important lessons in not judging people by their circumstances and in why not to hire coke addicted male prostitutes.
Malcolm X in the Middle- In Fox TV’s first movie spin-off, a lower-middle class couple must cope with the fact that their middle son is an intellectually gifted black Muslim activist.
- John Waters Wing*
The Egg Paranoia & I- Claudette Colbert & Fred McMurray trade the rat race for the simple life by moving to a trailer park and become friends with the world’s most disgusting family.
Boyz in the Hood Don’t Cry,Baby- a black female-to-male transgendered teen must survive life on the streets if she’s going to make it as a wrongfully jailed pop-star.
Pretty Woman in Pink Flamingos a flat chested prostitute returns to school where she must eat a dog turd to fit in with the snobby kids.
You’ve Got Female Trouble- Feel good Christmas romance about the heir to a book store chain and his misunderstood girlfriend. Hilarity ensues when Hanks’ still-fertile grandpa gets the Christmas tree dumped on him by his new granddaughter in law.
**The Madness of King Kong ** - The true story of the craziest giant ape to ever rule England.
Jumpin’ Jack Flash Gordon - A strange computer message leads Whoopi Goldberg to defend the universe against Ming the Merciless.
**I Was a Male War Bride of Frankenstein ** - Cary Grant’s wackiest role, as a reanimated corpse in drag.
Analyze That Thing You Do! - Mobster Robert DeNiro approaches psychiatrist Billy Crystal for help after he begins feeling strange compulsions to form a band.
Angela’s Ash - Poverty-stricken Irish family is menaced by the Deadites, when a hero appears. “Top of the mornin’, baby.”
Perfect Strangers on a Train - Balki wants his wife dead. Larry, it seems, wants the same thing. Or so Balki thinks…
Agent Smith Goes to Washington - “Welcome back, Mr. President. We missed you.”
I spent some time reading these to my friends last night, and nearly choked them with laughter. Any jokes that can kill my friends are worthy of awe. Congrats, everyone. 
And has anyone found out if this is the fastest thread ever?
Oh, and …
Arma-Get On the Bus
Bruce Willis and Spike Lee save the world at the Million Man March.
FarGo
A pregnant cop tries to solve a murder through a split timeline, a rave, and a trip to Vegas.
Operation Dumbo Drop Dead Gorgeous
Airlifting an elephant to a teen beauty pageant goes awry.
In & Outerspace
Kevin Kline copes with being gay and having a miniaturized Dennis Quaid loose in his body.
Big Fish Called Wanda
I’m not entirely sure what it’s about, but Ewan McGregor and a good portion of Monty Python? I’m so there.
All the Pretty President’s Men
Matt Damon enters a forbidden romance with a Mexican Watergate accomplice.
Four Panic Rooms
A bellboy (Tim Roth) must cope with strange hotel guests who have locked themselves in burglar-proof hidey-holes. Dead hookers, witches, and trips to the emergency room abound.
The SpyKids who Loved Me
Those brave SpyKids tackle their most dangerous foe, Humbert Humbert (played by Michael Jackson)
Pride and Prejudice of the Yankees
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a baseball player with a progressive neuro-muscular disorder must be in want of a wife.
Too bad many of the ones I thought over the night have disappeared…
Hellraiser in the Pacific - Lee Marvin and the spawn of Hell become stranded on a deserted Pacific Island during WWII. The two men come to learn to trust each other, until Hellraiser kills Marvin over some discovered sake.
Mission Impossible Dream - John Woo’s adaptation of “Man of La Mancha.” Windmills explode.
Soylent Green Mile - A man wrongly convicted of murder awaits execution, at which point he’ll be turned into nutritious food.
The Greatest Christmas Story Ever Told - Jesus gets triple-dog-dared to stick his tongue to a frozen lamppole. Judas shoots his eye out.
I’m waiting until this thread gets so long it’s locked down. Keep up the great work, this is hilarious.