That is one of my favorite comic book covers of all time. In the story, the heroes that he is trying to keep alive keep talking shit to him to get him more and more pissed off so that he wouldn’t drop the mountain on them while one of the other heroes cut thru the mountain to get them out.
I don’t care what anyone says, Secret Wars was a fun read. Not as good as Infinity Gauntlet though IMHO.
Yeah, but I’m sick of big-dumb-green-guy. It’s so dull.
At the very least, how about Peter David’s smart-but-brooding dark-green Hulk during Marvel’s “Heroes Reborn” experiment (where the Fantastic Four, Captain America, Iron Man, and Avengers were tossed into a separate playpen for the Image kewl kidz to play with)? He’s still big and green and relatively inarticulate, but he’s also intelligent and scary as hell.
What can I say, I’m an unabashed PADophile… 
Yes, it makes more sense. They’re genetically-engineered superspiders, no? Well, some of the superspider genes got transferred over in the bite, so now Parker has superspider genes. As opposed to radioactive? Sure, that’d give him superpowers, but why spider superpowers?
Neither explanation is good real-world science, but the genetic engineering angle is definitely better comic book science.
Someone fill me in on the Hulk’s canonical origin story… All I know is that he got a dose of radiation somehow.
You rang? 
The original origin (there have been hundreds of retroactive changes to continuity (or RetCons) in the last 40 years ) but if you picked up Hulk #1 ca 1961 or so…
Bruce Banner is a nice guy, if a trifle timid. He’s in love with semi-psychotic General Ross’s daughter Betty and he’s hanging around an army base because he’s in the process of developing the Gamma Bomb to protect us from the “Reds” (Stan was pretty anti-Commie back then).
They’re planning to test the bomb (the countdown’s started) when Dr. Banner realizes something: there’s a kid in a jalopy sitting on the fringe of the test area. Seems Rick Jones, beatnik in training was dared by his pals to sneak into the testing grounds. He did. Banner rushes out to try to save Rick. He grabs Rick, rushes him to the bunker and shoves him in ahead of himself.
Then the bomb goes off and Banner is hit by the blast. “Hours later [ Dr. Banner ] is still screaming” (great line from the original story that always stuck with me.)
That night, Dr. Banner turns into a grey frankenstein looking creature (nothing like what you think of when you think of the Hulk). This original Hulk is essentially a thug. Not stupid, not evil, just aggressive as hell and pretty damn strong.
Originally Banner changed at night. Then he changed when he was hit by more radiation. It took quite a while for the “Don’t make me mad. You wouldn’t like me when I’m mad” idea to catch on. His intelligence also varied pretty wildly. In those early issues, Hulk sounded like a '40s gangster (“Get outta my way, punk. Or else”). It took quite a while for Hulk to become “Superbaby with an attitude” (“Hulk like Bambi, so Hulk SMASH hunters!”).
Throughout the first six issues of The Hulk you can see Stan flailing around, knowing he has a potential hit on his hand and not knowing quite how to handle it. Hulk was the first Marvel book to get cancelled after only six issues. Hulk then guest-starred all over the Marvel universe and eventually got a back-up slot in…um…Tales to Astonish, IIRC. Finally he got his own book in…um…1968 or so.
The above origin is the original one, but there’s been a lot of tampering with it. One doofus decided that everyone involved (General Ross, Betty, etc) were Skrulls or something (which as been completely ignored). Another (Peter David) came up with the idea that Bruce had been abused as a child and the various Hulk incarnations were manifestations of a split personality (which has been pretty much embraced).
I see why the idea of someone being nuked as an origin story wouldn’t work on film nowdays…frankly, looking at the original comic, it’s pretty silly even by “radioactive spiders” and “injecting mongoose blood” standards. (Although it’s better than the golden-age’s “Black Terror” origin. He was a druggist and when confronted with Nazis, his first thought was to mix up every chemical/drug in his shop and drink it in hopes that it’d give him super-powers. Which it did. But still.) I’ve got no problem with changing it to a gamma-laser or something.
Fenris
Maybe it’s just me, Chronos, but I’ve never heard of any genetically engineered creature transferring its genes to another creature unless it was a virus. If he was bitten by a spider with a genetically engineered virus, fine. I’ll buy it I guess.
He’s not really a spider man anyway. He’s more of a vaguely spiderish man. He only has two legs and two eyes, the web doesn’t come out of his butt and he doesn’t vomit on his food to soften it before eating.
And if spiders have a spider sense, they certainly don’t sense my impending foot crushing their exoskeleton (another thing spidey doesn’t have).
I always liked the stupid strong Hulk best. “Hulk SMASH puny humans!” Somehow the Hulk being intelligent kinda takes away from that idea of the Hulk as being a force of nature, so to speak. “Yes, I am now quite agitated, and so must harm you!” Doesn’t sound as fun.
“Hulk is strongest one there is!”
Fenris, you forgot one key plot point – the Gamma Bomb went off too early because Banner’s lab assistant was secretly a Rooskie spy, who wanted to kill Banner but created the Hulk instead.
Of course, the spy had the oh-so-common name of Igor, so it’s no wonder that Banner never suspected him of wrongdoing…
Well, actually, rjung, for a lab assistant…
B]Arken**, according to the movie spoiler web site, there are 15 super spiders that contain genes from the spiders that leap across branches, are super strong, shoot webbing, and have spidey sense. One of the super spiders bites Peter.
Whatever the scientists did to get the genes into the super spiders could have transferred to Peter when he got bitten.
Warning, spoilers here: http://www.themoviespoiler.com/Spoilers/spiderman.html
How about if they had just siad that radiation had genetically altered the spider?
Not a problem. They probably used a retrovirus to modify the spiders in the first place, and there might still be some of the virus in their systems.
No, I’m not a comic book nerd. I guess I’m just a nerd.