It seems that excessive cell phone use causes low sperm count, and low sperm motility.
So, right away, the question comes up, how close to their testicles most men hold their cell phones? And how far is a safe distance? Are women going to start calling up their dates repeatedly as a preemptive birth control method?
This could change the entire nature of . . . well, I don’t know, but something.
My cell phone is across the room.
Tris
And where, pray, are your testicles?
Must be hell for contortionists.
I have long held that I will never use an ear-jack with my phone in my pocket – if I do, I’m definitely frying an important part of my anatomy; if stick it right up against my ear, there’s (so my female acquaintances tell me…) nothing inside there that can suffer permanent damage… 
Seriously, while I’m at my desk at work, or at home, the phone is right on the table top. If I’m driving then of course it’s sitting in the coin-bin, connected to a Hands-Free jack. If I’m walking around the office (or anyplace else), then, yes, I keep the phone in my pocket and fish it out when it rings. Hey, I’m too old to have any more kids anyway (3 is quite enough, thankyouverymuch!)
Remind me to tell a joke about that, sometime. Actually, you’re military, right? So you probably know it.
I wouldn’t imagine that an ear-jack would be very good for your testes either.
Given the direction this thread has gone so far, the phrase Hands-Free jack took on a whole new meaning for me.
Yeah, me too. I want to change my user name to Hands-Free Jack.
When I drive, my phone is on vibrate, and I keep it kind of…tucked in under me, on the seat.
What? I play the CD player pretty loud a lot, and I don’t miss calls that way.
Besides, I been vasectomized, so low sperms and motility issues are not a problem with me.
Everyone: “Ewww, TMI!!”
You’re welcome. 
Vasec to me
Vasec to me
Vaseeeec tooo meeeee…
Vasec to me.
I generally carry it in my front pocket pressed right up against them.
it’s set on vibrate, too
I carry my cell phone in my front pocket as well. But I keep my testicles in a tin box under the kitchen sink, so I’m probably ok.
…deletes Triskadecamus’ testicles from my speed dial…
Oh, good! A new, easy form of birth control! Isn’t it great?
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/section/story.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10407357
This is because of that liver, isn’t it?!? Fine! stomps off sobbing
Triskadecamus’ Testicles isn’t likely to be nominated as a band name. Just doesn’t roll off the tongue like Toxic Lesbians does. 
Unless you like the idea of Triskadecamus testicles and your tongue. Applicants must be over 18 years of age. Only two testicles per customer. Offer void where prohibited by law.
I’ll forgive you if you let me call you Tangerine Man from now on. All juice, no seed.
::d&r::
Well, I’m not the only one who is releived to hear that!
Tris
This reminds me of a Will and Grace episode; Will is berating Jack about his cell phone being in his underpants:
Will: You only keep it in there so when you’re dancing at a club and it rings you can say “Wanna grab that?”
And later in the episode, Grace says she can’t reach Karen, so Jack says he’ll call her panty phone.
Cut to scene of Karen chasing her maids and she stops, puffed and pulls the ringing cellphone out of her garter and answers;
Karen: Karen Walker’s Panties. Oh HI jack!
Makes me glad I signed up for Ball Waiting.
Yes, and conference calls would be a different beast altogether without Speaker Groin.