What’s “reasonable” is that a 20-year-old attending college full-time cannot also (usually) have a career to provide even the basics like food and shelter, let alone tuition costs. A healthy, capable 20-year-old with no full-time obligations - can. Therefore the former generally must rely on parental support and historically has. Any judge will reasonably see this. There is a social norm to pay for your child’s education, but none that suggests a parent should support a leech.
“I don’t exactly have a career, but I do have a large collection of name tags and hair-nets.” - Wayne, Wayne’s World.
I agree, the imbalance is there- but then, divorce and child support laws by their nature can be irrational and punitive. A co-worker complained her husband had to support a 20-year-old “through college”, and maybe it was sour grapes against the ex, but she was pretty sure the girl was not actually attending college, just leaching off a remote dad. She said that the husband’s lawyer advised them it would cost too much too contest, it was cheaper to wait til she was 22 and the obligation was over. (Community college fees those days were quite low). Another fellow I knew was obliged to pay child support at a certain level, based on his income - but that obligation did not drop when he was on strike for several months. Child support in these cases seemed to be more motivated as a punitive measure than a logical obligation to “pay your fair share”.
Unfortunately, when a couple divorces, the judge gets to play Solomon, and must hack up the baby. Both parents are required to pay the equitable share, but typically only one gets to run the child’s life and make decisions like piano lessons or college. (Or worse, the kid plays them against each other, each one allows something to spite the other). You would think getting out of an unhappy marriage would be a joyous occasion, but rarely does it play out that way.
Then there’s parental alienation, so a parent may find themselves paying for a kid who hates their guts. (Oh, wait, don’t need divorce for that). But history has shown that when men are expected to pay on the honor system, honor often goes out the window. Thus, the obligation is in writing.
With a still-married couple, I guess any argument between them over, say, child’s college support, is settled in the household with no need for outside arbitration - if the dispute becomes too nasty, then it does continue on to divorce court.
If the US wanted to limit the rise of tuition, all they have to do is cut off the supply. For example… Cap official student loans at say, $5,000 a year. The rest would be plain old loans, dischargable at bankruptcy. Pass a law removing the obligation of parents to pay for children’s loans made in this manner, even if co-signed by the parents. And so on…
When I graduated high school, my parents skipped town. My dad went on a year’s sabbatical to Finland. All they left me was $100. But in those days, by working minimum wage summers and part time through the year, I could make the $685 tuition for the year, plus enough to pay for residence. To me, that was the ideal system - it cost, but no so much that a person could not do it on their own.