Please help me identify these books (chick lit)

Welcome to another episode of “Identify This Book!”

In the first book, a recent widow is living alone in a big house in Scotland. She is lonely and bored, and the butler and his wife are rude and snarky to her. Her (seemingly lesbian) girlhood friend, who is taking a break from a Peace Corp type position, and who is suffering from menopausal symptoms, shows up unexpectedly to visit her.

Meanwhile, her daughter Lisa lives in England with her asshole husband. The husband decides to run away with his (Portuguese? Spanish?) mistress, leaving their illegitimate seven-year-old daughter with Lisa. Lisa had no idea there was a mistress or a child; she has no idea how to cope, so she goes home to her mother in Scotland.

Meanwhile, the woman’s son (Archie?) lives with his artist (architect?) wife in London(?) She is pregnant but not happy about it. They decide to visit the homestead in Scotland, where (Archie?) is now the laird since his father’s death. All these people converging on the house piss off the butler and his wife and they quit in a huff. No one misses them.

An attractive older man somehow appears in the story and eventually becomes the mother’s romantic interest. Archie and his wife get divorced, and he later marries the baby’s nanny, a free spirit they picked up hitchhiking. Archie keeps the baby and they also adopt the little girl. Lisa gets involved with, and goes to live with, some tenants on the property: a man, his wife, and her mother. They all live together and raise Dandie Dinmont dogs.

It’s funny how I remember absolutely everything about this book, except the title! (The name of the big house is the title of the book, I think.)

Second book: I read this one a long time ago so I don’t remember as many details.

A senator’s daughter (or something like that) is travelling west in a wagon train. Steve is their guide and protector. Of course there is sexual tension disguised as hatred between them. There are the usual Indian attacks; they somehow leave the wagon train and go to Mexico. It turns out that Steve is actually Esteban, son of a wealthy landowner. This is during this war between Mexico and the French. Esteban and the girl get separated and she has to live as a camp follower for a while. Eventually they find each other again, and even though Steve does some slut-shaming (cause camp followers are slutty) they get their shit together, realize they’re in love, and live happily ever after.