I like babyfit, too. I don’t really use the message boards (for one thing, I hate the format they use), but the tracker is good, and they give you little articles each week on what’s going on.
Congratulations, pregnant ones, especially you, miraculous-conceiving emmalinimal. You can also look into Yahoo groups. New groups form based on the month you’re due, and you can join and see who’s in there. It’s a crap shoot. Sometimes you get a lot of hubby-loving babydusters, and others you get smart, sensible, funny women, all due when you are. It’s good support, and everyone’s at the same stage of pregnancy weirdness. And then once babies start coming, the group can be good support with figuring your critter out.
Would somebody please explain what on earth “baby dust” is?
I assume it’s not baby powder.
Magical fairy dust that gets you pregnant!
Let me use it in a sentence for you:
“Here’s hoping you get your BFP this month, Green Bean! sprinkles baby dust over the thread”
<vomits>
Powdered dry semen?
Yep! It’s great on toast.
One of the issues is that one person’s “truth” is another person’s “nuttiness” when it comes to pregnancy and mothering sites. I’d spend some time in the library looking through books until you find one that seems reasonable to you, and check it out (or go buy it), and then…RELAX. Don’t do anything stupid - your OB will tell you what is stupid - and then RELAX. You can’t do too much to control this - no reason to worry about it, its a ride.
Spend some time reading up on baby care - again with a book YOU like (although you might want to check with people you trust so you don’t end up thinking Enzo is the greatest thing since sliced bread). You’ll have less time to read up on babies once they come - and that is something you need to prepare for. Read whatever you do read with the memory that people have raised babies in many ways successfully for all of human history - and the race is still around.
Then use the next six months to enjoy going to the bathroom by yourself (as much as you can when pregnant), going out to grown up dinners without needing a babysitter. Reading novels that take some attention - because when baby comes its hard to give anything more challenging than Twilight attention. Sleeping as much as you can. And not obsessing about the pregnancy or the baby. Try and ENJOY - not fret.
All the best.
Congrats!
It’s not a pregnancy site, but it does have a pregnancy section without all the baby dust and baby dancing crap. I recommend Baby’s Named a Bad, Bad Thing. People there don’t mind answering questions, and they can spell correctly too! You have to sign up to get to the pregnancy section though.
For books, I really like the Mayo Clinic guide. Not alarmist, but it tells you stuff that might happen to your body. Basically it made me not really worry about what was happening. And sure enough, everything has been fine so far.
There are actually very few things you have to worry about. Mostly common sense. Don’t inhale paint fumes, don’t drink excessively, check to make sure any medication you take is safe. That’s about it. I would ask your OB if there is anything else you are worried about.
Good luck!
There aren’t any. Between the psychos, the hormones, the anti-vac folk, breastfeeding nazi’s…
Just remember, use your head, relax.
I had not “decided” on how to feed my child. I figured once she was born, she’d let me know, quick like what she preferred. All I had was one crap bottle that came in a gift set. She breastfed like a champ.
Look, you are an individual, and just in case you have any delusions otherwise, so is your child. What works for you two is what you will do. All the prenatal discussions, speculations, contracts, etc can/will/may go completely out the window.
I considered my fetus to be “willful since conception.” She is now 4. She is shockingly willful.
Please, please, please relax. I assumed I would be in the hospital until the child was 18. About 3 hours after she was born, I was ready to go home. The moment the clock ticked 48 hours, I was OUT. We figured each other out pretty quickly.
Don’t get your mind so set on things. Especially the whole “natural childbirth” thing. Wish for a healthy, vibrant child in which ever manner will get the child here the safest way possible. If you have to have a c-section, you will not be any less a mother than if you don’t. Not taking the drugs (Take The Drugs) will not win you any medals and frankly, the few minutes that I felt the pain of childbirth, completely and totally sucked. I promised things to the anesthesiologist that my husband wishes I would promise him.
Moderation, temperance and sanity. Deep breaths.
It helps to remember that nearly everyone you’ve ever met is the result of a successful pregnancy.
Childbirth and rearing is a multi-billion dollar industry predicated on fearmongering.
When you find yourself talking to the OB-GYN and you’re weighing the risks between a 1 and 181 risk of downs syndrome, vs a 1 in 252 chance of losing the kid due to the amniocentesis…perhaps its beast to stand back and let nature do what it does millions of times a year, for millions of years.
Defenestrator, thank you for this – now that I’ve signed up and had my “account validated” and can read that section, I can endorse it for any interested Doper. They have civil disagreements and they use citations in addition to the good spelling, and the place is inherently snarky in a good way. Several OB nurses are active posters.
Thanks to everyone else for the other great suggestions for information gathering, too.
I posted this in another thread, but it seems appropriate for this one as well:
The main thing is to remember that babies are remarkably durable little things. We’ve been having them for a very long time, and, for the most part, things work out. Pay no attention to people or books that claim if you don’t do everything exactly according to their program, your kid will be permanently ruined.
Feed 'em (in whatever way works for you), hug 'em, love 'em. Keep them safe (but don’t wrap the world in bubble wrap), play with them, discipline them (appropriately) as needed, and they’ll turn out OK.
Ok, I just have to tell you this. Non-toxic means it is not toxic.
I completely flipped out when I took my daughter to a baby activity thing and the lady started blowing bubbles. What if she ate some? Is that safe? Eeek!
They enjoyed laughing at me. Blow lots of bubbles for your baby. 
Conversely, it’s possible to do everything “right” as a parent, and still have your kid not turn out the way you wanted them to. How your kid turns out just isn’t under your control. A lot of people would like to think it is, but it isn’t. Thinking that parents must be to blame if their kids turn out badly is an example of the just-world fallacy.
The internut?
So what are you going to name him/her?
I’m so happy for you! I had a similar surprise at 43–horrible cramps, doctor’s appt, then an ultrasound that showed a jumping baby!!! Total shock. It’s an amazing thing how life finds a way, isn’t it?
The advice I got from a friend who is an OBGYN (not my doctor) was to stay away from the internet as much as possible otherwise I would be overwhelmed and scared to death!!! I was scared enough so I took her advice for the most part. I did read “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” and that was helpful, but mainly just listening to my doctors and asking questions really helped me out. The doctors did a good job of letting us know the risks without being overly negative.
It’s also amazing how you figure out how to be a mom when you never thought you’d ever be one!! My girl is 13 months old and she is just such a joy, I can’t imagine how I lived my life without her.
Enjoy every minute of your experience!!
It seems to be a him – he flashed us during the ultrasound and seems to have some dangly bits – so I’m leaning towards “Tarpaulin Cheney Mylastname-Husband’slastname.”
Seriously, we have no idea yet. We’ve started a list.
Fortunately, my life experiences so far have prepared me for sifting through internet research without being overwhelmed or frightened. In fact, poring over reams of information is one of my main coping strategies for emergencies of several kinds, and since I’m unemployed right now, I have lots of time for it. It’s helping a LOT. Everything from recent medical journal articles on the effects of paclitaxel and carboplatin (the two most toxic drugs I had in chemo) on first trimester fetal development to new developments in cloth diaper technology! It’s slowing down the spinning of my head and making me feel grounded, like I can do this thing.
BTW, I have learned enough to say that I think I’m actually in week 21 if you use Last Menstrual Period dating or week 19 if you go by fetal age. (I also more accurately nailed down the date of the, um, nailing.) I believe my due date is June 22. I understand that this means the critter has a 90% chance of showing up any time between June 7 and July 7.
:eek:
The Mother of All Pregnancy Books by Ann Douglas was by far my favourite pregnancy book. It has a Canadian focus, to be sure, but it also has a sane focus. I also found it funnier and just generally more enjoyable to read than the classic “What to Expect” which I found dull. Of course being Canadian it didn’t spend half the time talking about how to pay for the pregnancy/birth.
Her blog is here I havent really spent time with these on line resources, but I cannot reccomend Ann Douglas enough. Its my “congratulations you are pregnant!” present for all moms to be.
And congratulations to you. This kid really really wants to be born, despite everything. Have fun with him/her/superbaby.