Please stop talking about your cycle at work.

The BBQ Pit
1

A note to the obnoxious young girl who sits immediately behind me at work:

While I understand that it is extremely frustrating to be refused a prescription at a pharmacy, particularly when it’s your birth control pill, I would prefer that you not discuss in such excruciating detail the potential ramifications that should occur should you fail to get your prescription in a timely manner.

I’m sure that breakthrough bleeding is annoying; however, I’m also sure that the man sitting on the other side of your cube wall who is new to our team probably doesn’t want to hear about it. I know I don’t. I really couldn’t give a shit how long said bleeding lasts, what it looks like, etc.

And please don’t describe how long your cycle typically lasts. I honestly don’t care to hear about it or any pregnancy scares you’ve had.

I get that you’re only 26 and probably somewhat naive in the ways of the workplace, given this is your very first full-time, real job; however, at your age and in the profession you’re in (product management), I would still think that you’d know better than to talk AS LOUDLY AS YOU CAN WITHOUT SCREAMING about your menstruation difficulties.

Other things you regularly discuss that I don’t give a flying fuck about:

-Your upcoming wedding.

-How stupid everyone else is but you.

-How you feel oh, so bad about forcing the team lead off the project you’re working on (yes, I’m sure you must feel so bad that you’re a rising star while the current team lead is in a shitty situation NOT of her own making and you’re fortunate enough to be in the right place at the right time and take all the credit for turning things around…even though you had nothing to do with it).

-What a bitch your boyfriend’s ex is.

-Again, your menstrual cycle. You spend an inordinate amount of time talking about this at work - it must be very, very important.

And finally, please learn to control THE VOLUME OF YOUR VOICE. I’m sure that what you’re doing is extremely important, but it doesn’t become less so if you speak at a normal volume. I know that at least three people have complained about you - I sit next to your boss and I’ve heard him apologize on your behalf several times. There’s a reason for it - please take a lesson and shut the hell up.

Or, should I be glad that you’re so loud? After all, you speak to other divisions’ specialties and therefore succeed in completely misinforming many people you speak to, including clients. You’ve been corrected several times - just in the nick of time - maybe we should let you swim on your own and sink?

I think I like that idea.

2

Is she hot?

3

Does hotness matter when she’s bleeding all over you for weeks at a time?

4

If you volunteer to knock her up, it will kill two birds with one stone.

5

Wha? Don’t you wanna hear about my boss ride?

6

I would offer to knock her up, but my husband might have problems with that (though maybe he’d want to join). And she is cute in that kind of alternative, goth sort of way. She’s not grungy or anything - just pretty alternative. She has several piercings you can see, a couple she talks about that you can’t. A tattoo (though I have one, too). She’s obviously fresh out of her MBA. Very full of herself - likes to talk about how intelligent she is, yells at people about stuff when she thinks she’s right even if she’s not 100% sure, etc.

I’d tell you stop by and meet her, but you’d be deaf from her bellowing before you ever saw her. Plus, it might be her time of the month.

Every time this chick opens her mouth, I cringe even before she’s started speaking.

7

It’s really gonna suck when she’s your boss. :stuck_out_tongue:

8

That’s not even close to funny, what with how prophetic it will probably be.

I think she’s suffering from a distinct lack of couth.

9

Username/OP combo FTW.

10

Ugh, I think I’ve worked with this woman before.

11

To be sure we must know, is she hot?

12

Why not speak to her boss? Say “knowing about the personal details of her female time of the month makes me very uncomfortable” - this is, in my opinion, a very very light form of sexual harassment, but its sexual harassment all the same. (If a guy sitting next to me had to talk on the phone about the details of his post Viagra erection, he’d have to be someone I REALLY liked to not “mention” it to his boss). Ask her boss if he can request that she move calls with her doctor (cause, of course these are all with her doctor at work, not her friends) into an unused conference room and out of cubeland. Her boss, as long as he’s talking to her, may wish to remind her that personnel details should be discussed where they cannot be overheard and comments regarding the performance of her team lead that can be overheard by others could potentially create problems for the company. Don’t make either suggestion a big deal, just let them know that you’d appreciate the first and that you feel she could benefit from coaching on the second.

As a “rising star” she is certain to pick up the subtext of both of these comments. But since she knows better than you, they need to come from her boss.

13

Yeah. That’s the cruel thing - that someone so annoying can be so good looking, you know? Way to ruin the package!

14

Bah, who cares. Didn’t you people read? The woman bleeds regularly! Obviously defective!

15

Can her boss not already hear this crap?

16

I’ve fucked girls like nasty during their periods. Geeze, my penis looked like a murder weapon it’s been so bloody. Chicks bleed on a regular occassion, and I also enjoy sex on a regular occassion. My last gf even seemed hornier on those “bleeding” times, so I would not turn her down.

17

Meant to thank you for that, by the way— it took a lot of the pressure off. One man can only do so much. Oof.

18

Hah!

19

Next time we’re both at work, give me a call and we’ll talk loudly about it over the phone.

20

I came in to the Pit to find the mini-rant thread so I could post this same thing.

I don’t want to know! Stop sharing! Do you not see me turn away completely, pick up a file, start typing on the computer, do something, *anything * else, when you start talking about your cramps and migraines and bloating? I don’t want to hear it!!!