Please Tell Me This Is a Joke

Look I am as concerned as the next guy about Alien mind control, but I cannot believe you can stop it with such a crude homeade device.

Eh, it worked for me. Sometimes, the simple ways are best.

No, it’s not a joke. It’s part of a conspiracy by the aliens. Everyone knows you need tin foil!

But it keeps your head warm, right?

Oh…TIN foil…
No wonder my aluminum foil helmet has proven ineffective.
Where can I obtain some tin foil?

They’re up to the new and improved Prototype #3B now.

My favorite:
This helmet has worked 100% successfully for every abductee who has worn it No abductee has been abducted while wearing this helmet. - Inventor Michael Menkin

Yee gods he’s crazy in the coconut

But that’s just it. You can’t really find tin foil anymore. And do you know why? Because they’ve bought up all of the tin foil and taken it off the market.

I’ve already said too much

:::snicker, snicker:::
Those hats are SO last week! The new high tech way to avoid alien abduction and mind control is to have the tin foil embedded in your skull.

It also prevents rhino attacks.

This guy Menkin has it all wrong!
You have to make tin foil underwear!
I know, because before I started making my underwear out of tinfoil those sneaky aliens were controlling my penis and making it do all sorts of terrible, sinful things!

So THAT’S what has been making my penis do all those bad things. Bad alien controlled penis, Bad! If it’s between the aliens controlling my penis and the scabs promised by the tinfoil undies. I say, hey, the aliens haven’t shown their taste to be to bad… yet.

On the other hand now I know what to get my little cousin for his birthday this Saturday.

Upon reading the above reply I realized it could be taken multiple ways, the hat not the undies.

It’s true. Has a rhino ever attacked someone wearing this?

It also protects me from visits from a mother-in-law.

(We don’t need to note that I’m not married.)

This is the only alien isolation helmet I trust.

If you look at the testimonials page, you’ll find a woman who claimed that her particular alien gave her orgasms via telepathy. She now wears her helmet all the time, even when bathing, according to her husband, and, one would assume, doesn’t have those pesky orgasms anymore.

(psst… alien dudes… I’m free Saturday…)

Um… is it just me, or is this a Tripod Trilogy ref?

“The Capping was a passage into adulthood…” (paraphrased)

just make sure you don’t put the aluminium helmet in the microwave.

Right - could be very dangerous. Remove helmet before inserting head in microwave.