I thought this was worth a thread of its own - maybe ultimately I can redeem myself, but I need the dopers help, so this is your chance to show me how to vent with rhythm and poetry on any subject - it doesn’t have to be a fully formed rant, just a stanza or two should do.
Now I really do feel a lot better.
Ig"I think I’m insane, but it’s the happy kind"uana.
Iggy, you worthless stump of worm-eaten wood,
why do you clutter up our board with your rotting punk?
I have seen better posts from recto-cranially inverted teeny-boppers than I have from you.
Your pitiful attempts at a rant have all the mighty power of a zephyr on the far side of a stone wall.
You post your laborious attempts at anger as if you were drawing each word from a random list, exerting no effort to organize them into a coherent rant, then you stand there with your copraphagic rictus, expecting us to wade through your trash looking for the invective that you forgot to include.
If you want to flame someone, have the decency to bring your own tinder and fuel. It is the acme of arrogance (or the nadir of ill-considered obsequiousness) to expect your readers to supply the anger and vituperation that you have failed to provide for your own roast.
Like that?
No. It wasn’t in blank verse.
tomndeb,
Wow, I’ve never been called Iggy before!!! I’m so happy!!!
(that is, unless you were actually referring to Iggy Pop, in which case I’m happy for him.)
Iguana.
matt_mcl, he did not specify iambic pentameter or any other restrictions. Until Iguana changes the rules, I will follow Walt and his viscerally exclaimed yawp if I choose.
(No association with Iggy Pop was intended. I often refer to the iguana that lives in my house as “the bug” and I frequently remind my wife that five of the first six references to “iguana” in the English language remark on the fine, edible meat of the beast. Unlike the friendly bearded dragons and leopard geckoes or timid anoles of my acquaintance, I find that the iguana is an ill-tempered beast worthy of nothing better than the stew-pot.)
Iguana:
Look, kid. If you really want to learn how to curse with vim, imagination, and style, you’re going to have to go right to the source.
Stop by any military base and get a visitor’s pass. Find a way to hang out for awhile near any group of people wearing all the same color clothing and working on something. Make notes.
To truly master the subject, you are going to have to go to school. Join the army and ask for the infantry. Don’t tell 'em I sent you.
ah, yes, nothing like the infantry to teach you how to swear copiously and with style. After all you will have such fun hands-on lessons such as:
After humping 25 klicks, digging in and nearly finishing your fighting position when your squad leader comes around and tells you that the CO is adjusting the perimeter and you are now out of position, so fill in your hole and dig a new one over here, in the rich red clay of Georgia or the wonderful bedrock of Texas.
X,
I am appalled at your insubordination - drop and give me 200.
:: duckin’ & runnin’ ::