Political statements, outing, the holidays and my ex

The BBQ Pit
1

Dammit, this bites.

While dating Dr. Boyfriend (what seems like ages ago {sigh}) I had the opportunity to be his S.O. during all of his big events - graduation, new resident welcoming parties, chorus concerts, friends’ parties, etc. Not a problem at all - it was, of course, one of the fun things about being a couple, which is being a couple. I happily put up with meeting his co-workers, friends, fellow chorus members, etc., all the while being known as “the spouse.”

Nary an opportunity arose, however, for me to return the favor - just never really came up in my own life, as he had much more going on in his at the time. So now that we’re broken up? Just got an invite to the tres-exclusive office Christmas party.

Dammit.

Finally an opportunity for payback (and a chance to officially out myself at work [not that they all probably don’t already know anyway, but I’ve only been here a month and the opportunity hasn’t arisen until now]). I’ve never been one to hide, but I don’t exactly trumpet my private life, either. I do enjoy being out at work, and really couldn’t care less what people think when I am. And bringing a date to such a function (let alone a doctor) is subtle, firm, and positive.

So, of course, I’m single and can’t do it. :frowning:

Just pondering the irony of it all (and wondering if I should bring a regular old date instead, subjecting them to my boring co-workers - at least I could have forced Dr. B as payback).

Esprix

2

OH, and let’s not forget another important point - being single during the holidays, which is never any fun (although I’m used to it by now). :frowning: Still, my moving will occupy much of my time, so perhaps I won’t notice…

Esprix

3

I think you should look around and take somebody who is a friend, whether or not it’s a gay friend, a “date”. That way, you’ll at least have somebody to talk to at the party who doesn’t revolt you.

If you want to out yourself at work, isn’t there a more direct way to do it than by showing up at a party with Rupaul? And anyway, drunken office parties being what they are, you could show up with Rupaul, a pair of llamas, and the starting lineup of the Chicago Bears, and prolly nobody would remember a thing about it on the Monday. It would still be, “Oh, are you gay?”

4

If everyone there already has and inkling that you are gay we could go together and watch puzzled expressions come out. You see, I am six months pregnant.
Seriously - being “un-coupled” during the holidays sucks because there are so many couple moments designed for a Coke commercial or a Hallmark card. But just think - maybe you haven’t met everyone in the company yet. A good looking stock-boy (or whatever your company has) may be just around the corner.
By the way, what kind of company has an “invitation only” Christmas party?

5

Take me!

6

notice Matt never said anything about the party :wink: (hard luck with the election btw! and Congrats for having the guts to stand up and run!)

ellykat. I like the way you think.

7

5 replies to a Pit thread, and nary a cuss word to be found?

Fuck.

Question: Other than bringing a male date to such a shindig, what are other outing options (short of standing on a desk and belting out Judy Garland tunes)?

8

Well, Connor, I don’t know how they do things where you are, but here in the American Midwest it’s fairly common for a gay employee wishing to “out” himself (or herself) with co-workers to put on a sandwich board with “HEY, I’M GAY!” painted on both sides in bright red paint (graphics are optional), and to parade up and down the sidewalk in front of corporate headquarters on a Monday morning between the hours of 9 and 10 a.m. local time. Most Fortune 500 companies don’t require him (or her) to use coffee break time for this, or any other kind of personal or sick leave. They consider it time well-spent towards better employee relations.

However, some of the smaller companies, especially the locally-owned and operated fast food franchises, prefer the employee to do this off the clock. I understand the Gay People’s Alliance has been working with McDonalds on this issue, Mickey Ds having proved particularly insensitive to the needs of gay employees wishing to “out” themselves in this manner.

[note: this post is available in a special format for the humor-impaired–see the Straight Dope Home Page.]

9

Who better to take than a Republican, just to confuse the heck out of the co-workers. I have a sparkling personality, thanks to the boards we know each other well enough to avoid awkwardness, and I am not above taking some of the better food home for myself.

Oh sure, my wife might have an issue or two with this, but I am always up for toying with people.

10

Isn’t it amusing that outing oneself should be any kind of exercise at all? Just showing up to a party with a date is such a heterosexual thing to do, yet when two guys do it, it’s a political statement. Quite amusing. Anywho…

Irrelevant - I’m moving to San Diego in 30 days.

It’s just for our 7-person sub-department; the entire department is having its own Christmas party, and I’m sure the company will have some kind of function as well.

matt, if you were closer, we could go and shake up the corporate proletariat together. :wink:

Connor, short of Duck Duck Goose’s rather amusing idea (;)), outing options are many and varied, and most of them don’t take any more conscious effort than any straight person. For example, I know that all of my co-workers in my department are at the very least feigning heterosexuality because I know who’s married, their spouse’s names, if they have kids, etc., simply by things they’ve said, pictures on their desks, wedding bands on their fingers, etc. (You know how those hets flaunt their sexuality so.) So in the past I’ve had pictures of my boyfriends on my desk at work, or a little rainbow sticker on my bulletin board for some color, and I used to have a pink triangle coffee mug (those that knew what the rainbow and triangle meant were usually cool, and those that didn’t know, well, just didn’t know, so no harm done).

I will say that sitting right next to me is a gay male co-worker, and the only reason we knew we were both gay was that a while ago we had an e-mail echo going on between a bunch of other queer folk in the company, and we both recognized each others’ names from the list. A happy coincidence. :smiley:

And Mullinator, sometimes you scare the heck out of me, but if your wife’s ok with it… :wink:

Esprix

11

My boyfriend brought me to his fairly conservative company’s holiday party, and ever since then, all the parties have been “employees only” - no spouses, dates, etc. Tricky little bastards. He thinks it’s because of him, but I’m not so sure. They may just be cheap.

My company, on the other hand, did have invitation-only company parties and you couldn’t bring dates and they did check invites at the door.

12

DavisMcDavis,

Did people attend these parties? I don’t think I would go to a party if I couldn’t bring a date (in my case my wife.) What kind of wierd company did you work for, Illuminatti Inc.?

13

At the Christmas, uh that is Holiday party at my company you are not allowed to bring anyone. Lower level employees (like me) don’t even have to pay to attend. Consultants are invited to pay $50.00 it they wish to attend. (Couple of years ago, I was a consultant and the fee was $60.00; I declined.) Managers have to pay whether they attend or not. The fee for managers depends on their level and is higher than the consultant fee. I work for a financial institution in NYC.

Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy too.

The party is tonight. I will not be attending, but from the looks of the my coworkers, most will be going.

There was another fairly nice party the company gave recently that I did attend. (no charge for me; I don’t know about managers.) RSVP was required, no guests allowed, and names were checked at the door.

14

Where the hell do you people work?!?

When I worked for (name deleted to protect the innocent), our holiday party was a raucus affair, either in a hotle ballroom or just in our building’s conference center, with gay employees bringing SO’s, drunk women hitting on the CEO, dancing the Time Warp. We even kidnapped a couple of UPS guys!

We could care less who showed up, the more the merrier. The owner was a hard-living but extremely successful businessman, horse ranch owner, and lots of other things. He believed that happy employees were loyal, hardworking & trustworthy. He thought that if HE didn’t want to work between Christmas & New Years, then we probably didn’t either. So he closed us down, WITH PAY, for those 2+ weeks.

It broke my heart the day I had to leave that job. Where else can I have an office job with a gym, personal trainer, 2 weeks paid vacation + 12 additional paid holidays + 2 weeks off at Xmas + as much sick time as I can use?

15

I’m not sure how much I should give away…well, in the interest of privacy, I’ll just say I worked for a privately held major fashion company. You can probably guess who if you think about it. Everybody went to the party for the following reasons:

  1. Open Bar
  2. Extremely good raffle prizes - your invite was your raffle ticket stub, hence the limitation on invites.
  3. Hi Opal. (Can’t think of a third).

Did I mention open bar? Oh, good food, too. They saved money on our salaries by spending it at the Christmas party. But it was a large company and everyone was invited - if they all brought dates it would be a mess and twice as expensive and I can’t imagine where they would have found a large enough space.