In a movie (I won’t say which one 'cause it might could spoil it) one character says to another, “right handed people don’t hold it with their left hand.” You know when you urinate.
When I saw that I was like, “Huh? Dude, I would have got busted too, even if I was legit. I’m right handed and I hold it with my left hand.” Am I the only righty that holds it with his left? Any lefties that hold it with their right?
What in the Wide World of Sports are you talking about?
I’m assuming you’re talking about the movie
gattaca although I’m not sure if spoilers are really an issue for a, what, 7 year old movie?
Anyway…
I’m a lefty, who holds with my right. Wasn’t the exact quote “righty’s hold it different”, or did the doc actually say right handed specificically use the left?
And I think this takes the place of “toilet paper: over or under” on my list of pointless polls. 
I hold it with whatever hand is free at the moment.
I usually use both hands, and recruit additional help from four or five other people standing around in the area. At home, I have a specially built scaffolding.
I don’t hold it with either hand, regardless of whether I’m pissing or wanking. It depends on the handedness of the maidservant I’ve hired for the task which one she chooses to use.
When I’m writing my name in the snow, I use my dominant hand. Otherwise, it’s pretty random.
What?? You leave decisions of such import to a simple maidservent? Learn to exercise some control here, good sir!
I’m right handed. I hold it in my left hand. I’m using the mouse with my right hand.
May I ask, what would you be doing with the other hand? The one that is not free at the moment?
REALLY?!? I though I was the only one! I end up working with the rather awkward setup of right hand on the mouse, left on “(Not-so)Lil’ Lando”, and big toe on the computer power button in case I hear activity headed my way. Now my left hand has become the dominant one for activities of a similar nature (opening jars, etc.) and I can’t go back to the right. Then again, I’m only 16, some of you guys have decades more experience 
.
I find myself being extra cautious after one of my friends got caught red-handed. Of course, he was pretty careless, since his dad caught him pleasuring himself OUTSIDE in the family’s toolshed. :eek:
And yes, I know I have weird friends.
I feel like we should high five or something. But what if one of us doesn’t have a free hand at the moment?
Ohh…drinking a beer…tossing a football… building a barbeque…punchin’ out some loudmouth…
You know…guy stuff.
Ah … well … this seems to be a guy-oriented topic, but if it helps your Scientific Research at all, I am right-handed, and I usually do the female equivalents of … er … “hold[ing] ‘it’” with my right hand. So … um … there you go.
Well I am following the free hand mentality. Never really give it much thought.
It ain’t about masturbation, people, it’s about urination.
Yeah, but masturbations just so much more… interesting.
Yeah, but doesn’t masturbation lead to burnination, castration, and the ruination of civilization?
Oh, no, wait, that’s using napalm as hand lotion. Nevermind, then.
Polls belong in My Humble Opinion. I’ll move this for you.
Cajun Man
for the SDMB
If I don’t hold it with both hands, it splashes my boots.