Manda Jo, you make a good point. I’ve always thought of relationships as a “happily ever after” proposition rather than a “happy until we aren’t anymore” proposition.
So if we look at it that way, is there someone out there who can make you temporarily happy for everyone, then yes, probably. Except for the particularly peevish.
No, there isn’t someone for everyone. Despite what the majority of people try to tell me (frequently and emphatically, at that), not everyone needs to have a special someone in their life. Some of us really are happier by ourselves. My need for human contact is fulfilled quite nicely by my close friends. The realization was a long time in coming, and I’ve had to overcome a boatload of cultural baggage to reach the point I have.
As to people who do want a relationship, are there some who just aren’t suited to it? Well, I suppose it’s theoretically conceivable that a match could be found for any given person, regardless of their outlook. In practical terms, I think a lot of folks won’t find someone they deem to be suitable, though.
Whenever I hear “there’s someone for everyone” I always think of it as meaning “everyone is loveable” (romantic love) – but also “loveable by someone they love in return.” I don’t belive that everyone is loveable, but I think that those who aren’t have somehow brought it on themselves: either consciously (like mrklutz, who has realized that he’s happier by himself) or unconsciously (like my brother, who is profoundly antisocial in ways he’s not even aware of).
Regarding the rest of us, those who both hope for love and have emotional issues/neuroses that aren’t significantly worse than average, my answer becomes “yes, I think there is someone for everyone.”
But, as Gadarene and Anaamika said, I don’t think there is just one someone for everyone. I wouldn’t say there are thousands, but there is definitely more than one. “Several” sounds good. 
I absolutely support people who choose to remain single and not looking because it suits them; like most things, it only becomes a problem when people make their decisons based on fear, like I suspect the lady in the OP is doing.
I also think there is a continuum of good matches for people, with many people falling within your “good match” range. Somebody for everybody, yes. Many somebodies for everybody - sure, why not? It’s a big planet, with lots of people on it.
I think that there are varying degrees of compatibility, and the more compatible any given pair are, the less likely it is that they will find one another. Thus, I may be superbly-compatible with two or three people in the world, very compatible with a dozen, quite compatible with a hundred, sort of compatible with a thousand, and so on.
Whether I meet any of those people is another question, and depends on what I and they are doing: where we live, travel, make ourselves known in the world, etc. Thus the need to get out of the house.
I do not think it is guaranteed that there will be someone of high compatibility for everyone.
Someone very unusual may be superbly-compatible, with no-one, and sort of compatible with only a few people. This person may never meet anyone they are Perfect Sweethearts[sup]TM[/sup] with. Someone else may by superbly-compatible with one in a hundred people, and may meet one of their Perfect Sweethearts by the age of twenty.
But there being One and Only One for everyone? I totally don’t believe that.
Thanks for all the responses. However, ya’ll seem to be answering a question I didn’t ask. I never said that I believe that there is only one person out there for everyone. I don’t know many people past the age of 18 who actually believe that.
I don’t believe in one-and-only soulmates, just degrees of compatibility.
And I have no problem with my MIL (thanks Nava!) being single as long as she’s happy with it. But she isn’t. She’s very lonely, and I get to hear her bitch about how there are no guys out there, when we live in a college town with plenty of active and smart guys in her age range if she’d only let go of this impossible ideal.
(only went through the first page of replies, so please don’t kill me if i restate something)
…there isn’t one person for everyone. there just isn’t. it makes no logical sense.
the idea of a “soulmate” is a hollywood ideal. besides, isn’t that kind of scary? there’s only ONE person in the world for you? what happens if they die prematurely? what happens if they’re the same gender and you’re heterosexual?what if you’re born in different times? who’s to say that these two soulmates can’t be born at different times?
even logically, it just doesn’t work. let’s assume that man A and woman A belong together, as do man B and woman B. let’s also say that man A is a multimillionaire and lives close to woman B, who just so happens to be a gold digger. those two get together and that shatters the connection that man A and woman A supposedly had AND man B and woman B.
it just doesn’t happen. even if you believe in the possibility of a soulmate, your chances are one in 4 billion. that just doesn’t happen.
i’m an idiot.
it’d have helped if i had read the last post before mine.
for whatever reason, your relative feels defeated by the system. maybe it’s self-loathing to a degree, maybe it’s putting herself too high on a pedestal for others to touch. perhaps it’s a quirky blend of both.
to me, it really just sounds like she’s afraid to extend herself. being in a relationship means exposing feelings and parts of you that you spend a lot of time concealing (for whatever reasons). revealing those things means that your weak spots are exposed. if that other person doesn’t like what they see, then you’ve got a lot of work with yourself because it’s easy to think you’re odd or wrong or whatever, when it could just be chalked up to compatibility issues.
A wise old Vietnamese woman once told me that every pot has a lid. My addition to this piece of wisdom was that given pots (and lids) are mass-produced, every pot should have several lids!.
Of course, she didn’t have some neat little phrase to explain pots and pots, or lids and lids :dubious:
I think in general though, she may be right.
I’m not sure.
I don’t think there’s anyone in the world who is so unlovable that no matter what they do, they will never find anyone. However, many people won’t be able to find someone without making some changes.
My friend Matt is a perfect example. Matt has a lot of wonderful qualities and I’m sure he could find himself in a happy relationship–if he made a few changes. Right now, he only goes for women who are incredibly attractive, successful financially, and extremely fit and active. All fine and good, except that Matt is average looking, struggling financially, and sedentary.
If he were to change his expectations of the women he’s attracted to, he’d find many women willing to date him. I understand that’s a tall order (you’re attracted to who you’re attracted to whether you want it or not). Likewise, he could make an effort to get his spending under control or become more physically active, but he’s not willing to do that.
His mantra is “she should accept me for who I am.” Maybe he’ll find someone. But I find it improbable that a woman who’s very financially responsible is going to be happy with a guy who continually runs his credit cards to the limit and won’t answer the phone because of collection calls. Likewise, a woman who’s very into hiking and biking and loves outdoor activity isn’t likely to be happy with a guy who prefers to sit on the couch all day.