This should be interesting.
Women, what are you thinking when you smile at and make eye contact with a man in a public place? Is it:
[LIST=a]
[li]"You’re cute, and I’m available. I wouldn’t mind if you approached me.[/li][li]I’m a friendly person and I’m simply being warm to a stranger.[/li][li]Something else? (Please specify.)[/li][/LIST]
Here’s what the men think. Please answer before you click the link.
Um, all of the above? None of the above? It really depends on the context, the setting and the person I’m smiling at.
Most likely, if I’m interested, though, I’m going to make eye contact just a little extra long, and then look away and the smile will bloom as I’m looking away, not while I’m looking at you. I’ll probably look down as I do it, and blushing is a definite possibility. If I touch my hair at the same time, you’re in, man.
I suck at flirting. But all that is totally unconscious.
When I was single… anything but a. or b. Sometimes I’m just having a good day and smiling already when I accidentally make eye contact. Sometimes I think it’s someone I know and don’t want to seem rude. If they have a cute kid or pet it’s a ‘What a cutie’ smile. If they’ve just helped someone with their bags or opened the door for me it’s a ‘Thanks for being so polite’ smile.
If I did see someone I thought was hot I would probably try to sneak glances. Catching someone’s eye by accident and having him approach me sort of fills me with dread, that ‘Am I going to have to make small talk and turn this guy down?’ feeling.
I try to avoid smiling and making eye contact in public, though, for the most part.
I want to take a perfectly happy man and lure him into my web of lies and deception.
It’s sort of haphazard. I have my man-browsing days as well as my really spacey ones. Often when I smile it’s out of general appreciation at life/the weather/some amusing stray thought, and guys occasionally get caught in the crossfire.
More deliberately: Sometimes I study people covertly because their face has character and I’m trying to describe them in my head, not because I necessarily dig them. If I think a guy’s attractive but I’m feeling a bit uncertain (he seems aloof or he’s got a guy friend/friends with him) I’ll give him a measured look but I won’t smile. If he’s cute and seems possibly approachable I’ll do the shy smile/look away combo, and if he seemed to be looking back I might risk another glance his way.
So gents, watch for the second quick look - if you got it, you’re in.
A if that’s applicable, B if that’s applicable. There really is no one answer that fits all situations.
Most likely I’m thinking happy thoughts and not conscious of what my eyes are resting on.
I’m finished eating and I’d like you to bring me the check.
Generallly A or B- mostly B- but sometimes it’s like “Wow, this is an awesome event/isn’t that a cute dog?”- a shared acknowledgment of something spiffy that we’re both experiencing. Or if I’m at work (summer outdoor entertainment series) or a similar entertainment venue and an obscure joke is made that I get, I might smile and make eye-contact with a cute guy that gets it too. But it needs to be a very obscure joke- if more than 5% of the audience gets it, it’s not likely to get a “Hey, you’re cute and you got the joke! Smiles for you!” response.
Could be anything except A. In the unlikely event that I actually saw a guy in the wild that I found attractive, I’d probably just look kind of surprised. Then I’d look perplexed as I did a full-scale analysis of what combination of factors led me to notice him, and how I could put that information to use in the future.
Yeah, I don’t get picked up a lot.
If I’m walking down the street and openly smiling at you, it’s probably just because I’m trying to be friendly and because getting smiles back is an instant mood-booster. I will do this preferentially to ‘harmless’ people - anyone but cute guys.
I don’t know if I’ve ever successfully made eye contact with a cute stranger. I try, mind you, but I don’t think they look back much. Anyway, eye contact from interested women will probably look either somewhat bashful or devious, not simply friendly.
Damn, I forgot that one.
Almost always B.
Unfortunately since a lot of guys (I said a lot, not all) assume “A” (in my experience), I find myself smiling less and less at men I don’t know.
Probably B. I have had a lifelong habit of smiling at random strangers if I catch their eye, and it has become worse now that I’m working in retail. There’s a chance that it could be A, for sure, but usually it’s meaningless.
I actually thought of a case where it’s sort of A – If there is little to no chance that the guy and I will meet face-to-face and he is devastatingly, undeniably handsome and/or has great style (but doesn’t look like he knows it), I’ll give him a smile or eyebrow raise. Happens very occasional if I’m in a car. Hopefully I haven’t sent too many men to Craig’s List Missed Connections.
But then, I suppose I do this with women, too. That look that says, ‘Very well done’ when she’s got great style.
Usually B.
Sometimes C as “I have bird poo on my face, don’t I?”
b.
It really depends. If its a scary guy I’ll make eye contact so to say “Im not scared of you”. If its a nice guy I make eye contact because its just unfreindly to not look someone in the eye, and if its a hot guy I make eye contact and then maybe wink or flip my hair or something.
A and B… Like Baby Driver says, if I find a man attractive, I’ll glance again (and again and again and again)…
I spotted one! I was standing in line for an Italian ice and this ridiculously hot guy walks in with a passel of 10 year old girls. A girls’ rugby team. The whole scene was cuter than a pile of golden retriever puppies.
I didn’t catch his eye and smile, though. I just stood there with my mouth hanging open thinking “well, whaddaya know?” I doubt he noticed though. He was too busy repeating “mango, lemon, cherry, wild cherry…no I don’t know what the difference is…” over and over