…pleasantly surprised. Since we often discuss how single people find a date in this somewhat wary and crime-conscious time, I thought I would share a really positive experience.
Me: 37, wearing paint spattered jeans, worn out tank top, filthy Vans, and hair tied in an unflattering and tangled pigtail twisties. I’m grungy, possibly a little smelly, and covered in house paint and grime after an afternoon spent remodeling and cleaning. I look like a homeless teenager.
Him: nicely groomed, neatly dressed, around 45 or 50 years old, driving a family style car.
He pulls in as I am struggling to shove a flattened refrigerator box in the top of an overfull bin. Jumps out, asks if I need help (this is important: he didn’t take the boxes away from me, he asked if I needed help first.) “Yes, please”
He shoved the box in, then turned back to his task of emptying his car of recyclables, and lets me finish sorting mine. I kneel down and call kitty kitty to the two stray kittens that were dumped at the bins, and open a can of food for them. (I always keep a can in my car for stray pets.)
We make a little small talk about his allergy to pets, and my intention to call animal control on Tuesday. He asks how I like my weird car, then extends a hand and introduces himself. We shake nicely, and he asks if I live nearby.
Me: “Yes, not far. It was nice chatting with you, and thank you again for helping me, that was very nice of you. I’ve got to go, I’m expected at home.”
Scott: “Hey, you seem really nice, would you like to get together sometime?”
Me: “I have a happy relationship at home, but you seem like a great guy, and I’m really flattered that you asked. You have a great week-end.”
There. That is how it happens. No one else around, we weren’t in a bar or some other place where social interaction is expected. Scott seemed a little nervous, but smiled a lot and made eye contact. He hung back a little and gave me adequate space when he asked if I needed help, and the handshake was a friendly and welcome gesture. I never felt uncomfortable, never felt cornered, and felt a little sorry that I was in the position to turn him down, because he was really very good natured and well-mannered. I sincerely hope that the next girl tells him “yes”.
Sorry if this is too mundane and pointless, but if any Doper singles out there are nervous about asking out a stranger- this approach was a winner.