New Year’s Eve, at the dinner theater at which I worked once upon a time. Many kisses exchanged for New Year’s arrival. There was a discussion about why I was smooching the girls but not the guys, and I said I was convinced that the girls were more fun to kiss. Challenged on how I could reach that conclusion with no data on the other side. (This was good-natured ribbing; the male population at this event was about 70% gay). Anyway, same-sex smooch ensued.
Yes
I’m 24 and female
I’m a Kinsey 2, so straightishly bi by orientation (thanks Opal, that’s a great phrase).
I’m married to a guy, so I’m planning to be monogamously heterosexual for the rest of my life. This is because I love my husand and have taken vows I strongly believe in, not because I have any problem with having sex with women (or with other people having open relationships, if that works for them). Different horses for different courses, and this horse likes monogamy and happens to have found her soul mate, who in turn, happens to be a guy.
What was the conclusion, were girls or boys better smoochers?
- no
- female
- straight
1) Have you had a homosexual experience? Yes, tried it seriously twice
2) What is your gender? Male
3) Are you gay or straight? I’m tempted to answer “no”. Straight I guess, but different. I’m not into masculinity (as conventionally defined at any rate) and don’t play heterosexuality along sex-polarized lines if I can avoid it, for gut-deep personal reasons not as politicized protest etc , and so I think I’m as genderqueer as anyone.
Most straight people have a vested interest in not trying gay sex: many people will think ill of you if they find out that you did. In my case they already thought that of me and were quite vicious in punishing me for it, or for what they associated with that. Or, to put it differently, I was punished, found guilty, and accused, in that order; and I was also tried.
I can’t do gay sex, or at least not unless I get a hell of a lot more viciously cruel. I don’t care for male bodies, I have a huge constantly smouldering historical resentment of other males over gender stuff, I have a lot of sexual bitterness, and while it is nice to be sought and lusted after, that by itself with no reciprocation conveys way too much power and opportunity for malice and random revenge for lots of secretly nursed and remembered mistreatments. (I’m not even sure I’m a safe guyfriend to other guys).
No
Female
Straight
StG
Well, it’s the truth. And it happened to others, not only the others in my neighborhood, but also to spiritturtle (see Post 92 )
Sorry for the cliche, but the Macho Man doth protest too much, methinks.
You didn’t know?? It IS the world’s best-kept secret! That’s what “secret” means! That you didn’t know! That you would never have known if the other boys didn’t want you to know!
I sure hope someone spanked you for that later in the thread, because what you’re saying is that homosexuality is visible, that it would have been known, and that some extremely ordinary “fooling around” between boys would have been considered gay. Ya wanna wake up now?
You and those who find this so shocking need to note that most experts on adolescent sexuality insist that homosexual play between children and adolescents is extremely common!
Why, did someone ask you to change your mind? Because we gays seldom come to your door with a clipboard, ya know.
Oh, and Antinor01 in Post 172. And he reports exactly the same reaction that I noted much earlier that has caused all this vitriol from John Carter, that men DO lie about not having had any homosexual experiences. And why should that surprise anyone? It’s just elementary sexual psychology! Who would claim, as some have tried to do, that we’re different just because we’re on the SDMB?
- Sorta, kinda, but not really.
- Male
- Gay
I tried having a girlfriend in high school and we tried once to have sex and it didn’t really work out all that well, but I suppose no worse than any other first-timer. Just didn’t do it for me, but at least I tried.
And many years later, I had the opportunity of a lifetime (if I had been straight) in NYC with a rather famous actress and we were thisclose to doing the deed when she went to get a condom and by the time she returned, I had sobered up enough to realize it wasn’t going to happen.
For that reason, I fully understand guys who say they will never be able to do it with another guy…the only difference is that I didn’t feel the need to bash guys who actually do have sex with women. I am very liberal and think heteros should be able to have sex with whomever they want, whenever they want, without my animosity or hatred or voting against hetero marriage.
-
Have you had a homosexual experience? No. The only two times it was about to happen, it was prevented by nefarious external interventions (It was probably actually a good idea in the second case, and I don’t even remember what the guy looked like. I still regret the first, and still have a perfect mental picture of him). There are some more times I wish I would have had them but couldn’t, due to the lack of interest on the other side, or, in one case, I strongly suspect, poor timing on my part :smack: .
-
What is your gender? Male
-
Are you gay or straight? 99,5 % straight
…and a signficant number of the remainder have adjusted their definitions of “member” and “face” in order to allow them to deny any such contact. 
Not a fair trial. Only one same-sex smooch, and it didn’t involve much sensous effort. The true scientific approach would have been blindfolded kissing. Alas, it wasn’t suggested…
Note that this isn’t a necessary condition. I’m not particularily turned on by male genitalia, either. But it didn’t prevent me from being turned on by a number of boys. There’s much more to a man than his genitals.
- Yes
- Male
- Straight
There was a thread one time, I think here on the Dope, asking whom you’d sleep with. It seemed like a lot of straight women listed Angelina Jolie, and a lot of straight men said if they had to, Johnny Depp or Jude Law would be ok.
I wonder what it is about certain people that makes them more or less universally attractive?
As a gay guy, I could probably do Angelina too, and I find Depp & Jude Law attractive in an aesthetic, intellectual way, but have no real desire to get naked with any of them.
- No
- Female
- Straight (although not active)
- 52
Hmmm… I don’t think that in my case it’s about having some sort of universal attractiveness. It’s more personnal than that. It’s about being attracted. I have to feel something. Not to say that physical appearance is irrelevant. Not at all. But it’s not about this “objective” attractiveness you’re mentionning.
I understand perfectly what you mean, since I very often find someone objectively beautiful (including, and actually way more often women) but without being attracted, aroused, etc… I will think “she’s physically perfect”, and that’s that. Particularily common with celebrities, actually. Probably because I can’t interact with them, hence can’t feel any “spark”. I’ve to be seduced.
This need to be seduced is even massively more true for men for whom I have an extremely low interest at the first place (and constantly lowering as time passes, for some reason). I would most certainly agree to sleep with an attractive women I feel close to nothing for if she wanted to, but there’s not a chance I would do the same with a man. Possibly (purely an hypothesis here) I’m actually 100% heterosexual but very occasionnally “homophile” when I meet the very rare right guy (Note that usually I don’t get along well with men. The only exceptions being those I have some sort of crush on. I never had any close friend who was a male).
And, still about this need to be seduced, to feel something : I don’t think I’ve ever been attracted to any guy who was purely heterosexual (I write “I don’t think” because in most cases I didn’t know for sure but was fully convinced they were at least partially homosexual or potentially amendable to an homosexual relationship. Maybe wishful thinking, though, but I doubt so. They just didn’t interact with me, or with some others in the same way other men do. I’m not sure how to explain it, but I felt some sort of “resonance”).
On the other hand, in favor of your “universal attrativeness” theory, all guys I had an interest in had something feminine in them (what? I’m not sure. But it even applies physically : hairy manly men are out). Not to be mistaken with “effeminated” which is at the contrary a major turn off for me.
All this long post being very theorical, anyway, since, as I mentionned, I’m almost 100% heterosexual, especially now that I’m older, and never had any kind of relationship with any man despite sometimes wishing otherwise.
Nope
Male
Straight
23 years of age