needscoffee, since they alternate days, then I think it has to remain as it is; unless they can negotiate another deal between themselves. If the younger one wants more money, then since it’s not impossible for her to get other small jobs (only a bit more of a challenge) then maybe she can come up with something else to earn the “lost” three bucks a day.
As long as there are jobs available that are within older daughter’s reach (whether she’s a go-getter and gets them or not), she should be informed that that’s her main field of opportunity now; it’s time she moved on. Unless jobs dry up, she can make a couple thousand dollars next summer, working at minimum wage. The $66 for half of this petsitting gig is, by comparison, chicken feed.
Meanwhile, younger sis has to make the best of a much more limited set of opportunities: can’t even apply for most jobs, can’t even do any informal jobs (like petsitting outside the home) outside walking/biking distance because she’s too young to drive also. The difference between half of this job and the whole thing is a big deal on her scale.
If older sis won’t gracefully concede this opportunity, she should simply be told that she’s conceding it, period.
This.
Families have to work together, and that means it won’t always be fair. Family resources go to who needs it most, not who found it first. Younger sister needs this job most and will get the most out of it, it goes to her.
It’s not fair that the kid going away to college gets a laptop for Christmas, while the other kid gets trinkets. It’s not fair that the kid who lives closest has to take care of the aging parents while those that moved far can live unencumbered. It’s not fair that the kid with the far-away job gets to use the car, while the kid who wants to use it to go on dates has to take the bus. It’s not fair that the boy gets his own room, while the girls have to share. It’s not fair that the kid with unexpected medical bills gets an advance on his inheritance, while the kid who got health insurance has to wait. It’s not fair that the spouse with the better job gets to decide where the family lives, while the spouse with a less powerful career has to pick stuff up as they go.
It’s impossible to make family stuff completely fair, which is why families operate best in a communal atmosphere of giving and cooperation. It’s the whole “ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country” thing. Sibling 2 is going to be making much larger sacrifices one day if she get a spouse and children. It’s better to learn now that sometimes you have to take one for the team, and you should find a lot more joy in helping your family out than you would in petty material gains.
I change my answer, I think they should continue to split it 50/50. $6 is a disproportionate compensation for 5 minutes of work that they can do in their PJs during TV commercials. Basically the agency is paying you for running a nice cat friendly house, and you’re passing the kitty-rent on to your kids. In exchange for a few quick chores they get extra allowance on the days there’s a cat. Since this is such a choice gig I think it should be split evenly.
If it’s a true hours work I’d say give it to the younger one, but it’s not really, it’s more something they lucked into.
I agree with the “do it for the family” idea; but I think it has to be a conclusion you come to yourself, rather than it being forced upon you. After all, that’s what life’s about, ain’t it?
I think the line about not being punished for having a job is the wrong way of looking at it. You didn’t have to have the girls do anything. Something this small, it was essentially an allowance for doing chores for you. You were just trying to teach responsibility.
The older child has gotten to the point where she can earn her own money, and does. She’s at the point where the lesson is no longer valid. She’s in the real world. The younger child is not.
I’m not really saying what the choice should be. My instinct is to compromise, with the younger one doing the job 2 to the older’s 1, the money $44 and $88. Or, if there are guarantees that this will happen again, then let them split it evenly now, but that’s the last on the older child will be involved with.
I’d try the “you guys work it out” method, but I take it that has already not worked.
If the younger one is less outgoing, isnt it encouraging them to stay that way by giving them token jobs that meant they dont need to be outgoing?
So my vote would be stay 50/50 and encourage her to keep trying to get other work and try to help more with that side of things.
Otara
I think when I turned 15 and got a job my parents said no more allowance, and I was still expected to do chores around the house.
My little sister still got an allowance for working around the house.
This is essentially what you are talking about, and I think that’s more than fair. It meant a lot more to my little sister to get that $5 a week than it did to me.
The cat job is a gimmee, let the younger one take it over. The one with a job is outgrowing gimmees.
Does the one with the job pay for her own car and insurance? Since you say she squanders her money, I’m guessing that you subsidize her job to some extent.
I’ve got a different idea. All the money should go into savings accounts, 50-50, that will be used to help pay for the girls’ college or whatever set-up expenses they need when they move out of the house.
So what’s the dope, needscoffee? Has it been sorted yet?
Suggest to the older teen that the younger teen would be “very grateful” to get the work. Grateful enough to maybe pick up an extra chore or two from older teen during the 22 days. It’s win-win, the younger gets extra money, the older gets freed from some unpleasant chores. Make a deal.
You can also impress upon her the fact that this isn’t exactly her job to give up. You are doing the hard work, by paying for a house for the cat to stay in. They are doing the trivial work, something you could just as easily do, and keep all the money for yourself.
As a parent, that would be my choice too.
Hell if it’s just $6 a day per cat, give it to the younger one. The older one makes more than that per hour with minimum wage. Why give the older girl more money to squander? Seems like the younger has a better understanding of saving money and should be allowed that opportunity.
This is a mom/dad decision. They cat sit in your home. They don’t have their own home to cat sit in. So the homeowner should decide “who” is allowed to cat sit their home. If you have a bias on giving the younger kid the right to earn money since it’s more difficult for her to get jobs being younger, then giver her exclusive rights to cat sit in your house. If you think it’s more fair for them to split it…let it be.
The younger sister should offer to “buy out” the older one. Younger sister completely takes over cat duty starting today but the two must agree on an amount to be paid to the older sister immediately. Maybe $20 or something. You can oversee the negotiations to make sure they are carried out fairly. The terms they come up with could prove interesting (just this cat, all future cats, etc.).
I like this idea.
Aaaaaand a hearty “fuck *that *noise” on behalf of all the introverts in the world. Please don’t act like someone who isn’t as outgoing as their sibling needs “help .. with that side of things.” They’re not broken, ferfuckssake, so there’s no need to imply that being “that way” :rolleyes: should, or even could, be fixed.
Besides, it’s a “token” job only because the younger teen cannnot, presumably, legally work at a minimum wage job yet. What “other work” do you suggest? She’s too young to be a cashier or a burger-flipper or whatever it was you had in mind.
Gotta go with this. This is allowance, which is totally at the parent’s discretion and which goes away when you get a part-time job.
- Justin_Bailey, who is not bitter at all that his sister got a raise in her allowance because he got a job.
I like this idea.
I like this idea, too.
“Fair” isn’t always the bottom line when it comes to siblings, because of all the age-related stuff. The older girl has and always will get to do things first; that isn’t fair, but it’s the way it is. As the third girl of five, I can tell you how fair it was that I wore hand-me-downs for the first 16 years of my life. 
The older girl has a real job now, and maybe it’s time for her to give up the cat-sitting in favour of her younger sister.