But this isn’t just ending the allowance, it’s pointedly giving your allowanced to another sibling. The analog to ending allowance as a matter of age would be to continue to pay the younger one $3/day as before, and tell her to enjoy it while it lasts.
Every answer here sounds valid. Right now, as it stands, younger sister is angry and refuses to do any cat work - she would rather forgo the money on principle as she thinks I am being completely unfair and preferential. Older sister, who insisted on doing half, has forgotten to empty the litterbox every single day, and I had told them I will no longer remind them, either they do it and get paid for that day, or not. So up to now, younger sister has helped one day (when cat pooped on her bedroom floor, she cleaned it up; no litterbox cleaning; occasional feeding), mom has done 8. I’ll remind them again today that there are only so many days left this round, and to either salvage what wages are left of their own initiative or mom keeps it all.
I still don’t know how I will handle this the next time we get a cat. Like I said, every post here makes very good points. I’m leaning toward giving it to the younger daughter, but after her refusing to do it for half the money, I don’t want to reward her entitled behavior.
I think the fact that this has been handed to them on a plate has made it too easy.
I think I will urge daughter #2 to make a flyer for catsitting and put it up in the local pet shops. Then she will be her own boss and can take on the responsibility herself.
Well, this makes it sound like Older Sister doesn’t even want or care about the job and is just making drama. Given her performance and wasted opportunity to earn the whole wage, I’d fire her and give the job to Younger Sister.
But only on the condition that she not sluff a single day. Her taking a stand on principles is all well and good, but now that she’s got it all, she’s got to do it all. Mom steps in once, then buh-bye cash.
I would fire them both from this particular job. If the younger sister was really that desperate for the money, it seems that she’d take what she could get, and if the older sister really cared about sharing the job, she’d hold up her end of the bargain. Were they okay with sharing the job before, because this reads like it’s less about having an income, and more like the two of them are trying to stop the other sister from having something she wants.
I’d lean toward giving the next cat to the younger sister, since the older one isn’t putting in any effort, even though the conditions of the job haven’t changed, assuming the younger teen comes to realize she’s not entitled to the extra income just because her sister has another job, and that she shouldn’t agree to do a job, then shirk her responsibilities when she doesn’t get her way.
I was firmly on the side of continuing to share the job until I read this. With the way they are both acting, I think I might be inclined to do the job myself, pay myself the $6 and spending on something just for me. Clearly neither of them is acting like the job is important.
I think helping your younger daughter come a bit more out of her shell and drum up some business for herself is an excellent idea.
Oddly enough, older daughter sincerely needs and wants this job, having a large traffic fine looming over her head, but she has serious issues with responsibility and follow-through. With her fast-food job, which she got on her own, she’s extremely responsible. She’s got to do it for herself or it doesn’t stick. I’m hoping that seeing how much money she has already lost (I have a checkoff list up for this chore, and she can see with her own eyes exactly how much she isn’t earning) she will learn to take on the responsibility for herself.
This is where I’m leaning right now (except that the money will be spent on household expenses).
The younger daughter does think the job is important, but she is too wrapped up in her own viewpoint and anger to be able to think rationally about it. She is cutting off her own nose to spite her face, what with sibling rivalry and all.
I assume you are the one who initially set up the jobs through the professional service? If it were me, I would tell them either they work it out themselves, or no more catsitting jobs booked through me. This seems to be a situation where there is no ‘right’ answer and you don’t need to step in in favor of one or the other. They can go out and round up their own jobs with each getting the money for the ones they find (I would put stipulations like one job going on at a time, on a first booked basis, lest you end up with fighting cats in your house as each kid books a cat at the same time.)
Of course, then they lose you (and each other) as a back up if they aren’t home or busy that day. Point out to them the advantages of the setup as it is but let them make the choice. If they are willing to spite themselves to prevent the other from getting any money, so be it.
I don’t really care how the older one spends her money. She shouldn’t be barred from a second job because she doesn’t spend what she earns the way someone else would like her to. If I were to agree that the older one needs to bow out, it would be to make peace, and not because the younger one’s position is correct, because it isn’t. Sometimes $3.00 isn’t worth bickering over who’s right.
Given Im one, you dont speak for me or for any other introvert other than yourself. People dont have to be the life of the party, but the ability to go and get jobs is a skill we all need to develop.
That doesn’t sound like entitled behaviour to me; it sounds like years of frustration at being the younger one boiling over. From her point of view, you were acting preferentially towards the older daughter - she has a job and doesn’t need this one, whereas the younger one does. I doubt your younger daughter is seeing the ethical shades of grey here.
I’d take the older one off the job entirely; you make a whole lot of drama in the family with your dog-in-the-manger attitude, then don’t even do the job? Fired.
