I’d like to get the opinion of Dopers on the following situation:
You’re holding a DVD case and describing it to someone (whom you know well). While you are describing it, this person reaches out to take the DVD case from you to take a closer look at it (which he/she plans on doing while you continue talking).
The question is: is this behavior rude? Should that person wait until you are finished talking, and then reach out to take the DVD case?
It would be interesting to see if there is a gender difference in opinion on this issue.
If I did not know the person well, it may briefly feel like an invasion of my personal space. If I knew the person well it wouldn’t even register.
Female.
I think the longest description of a DVD I’ve been involved with was either:
“what’s that?”
“the new Amaral”
“hey, look, this case has (a lever to push the disc out instead of a cover; fancy colored plastic; whatever)” - shows it to the other person
I don’t see it as rude in either case, no. I would see it as rude if it was a complete stranger, but then, I don’t describe my stuff to perfect strangers either. Female.
One instance when I’ve told someone “hands off” was when I was toting a complicated pile (maybe a couple different-sized books, some loose paper, two pens, a CD case) and they reached out to pick one item. But the problem here was the stability of the pile, it’s a completely different issue.
It sounds to me, on reread, like what the OP finds offensive is the “do something else while I speak” part. Am I right? Being a multitasker like everybody in my family, I do use my eyes to see and my ears to listen; yes, I can do both at the same time, ain’t it amazing? But I’ve had to explain it to singletaskers, who sometimes would require a demonstration before believing that yes, I can listen while doing something else.
Female, I wouldn’t think it was rude. If I were describing a DVD, I guess I would want my description to be so exciting/intriguing that the other person is eager to look at it. Otherwise, why am I describing it?
I’d consider it kind of rude. I might hold out my hand a little, indicating I’d like to see, either when the description is done or before (your choice) but to reach over and take it? Strikes me as a trifle brusque.
Informal, but not rude. If the conversation were between two people who should not be treating each other casually (ex: student talking to a teacher), then I might say it was bit out of place, but I still wouldn’t use the word rude. Rude would be if they told me I had bad taste in movies.
Female - not rude.
If I did that, I would glance back at the speaker to indicate my continued interest in what he was saying, but I would also look at the case, and probably grunt my interest in it and what he was saying. I would probably then ask some question based on looking at the dvd, and we would continue our conversation.
Totally agree with Trunk. I can’t give you an answer without more information. There are circumstances that would indicate yes it was rude, and vice versa.
My thoughts exactly. Was the OP giving their opinion of the movie, reading out from the case, or what? Anyway, my tuppence-worth:
If someone starts reading aloud to me - from a newspaper article, or a TV guide description, or anything, I find it very difficult to follow after a sentence or so. I really need to see it in print to be able to absorb it properly. And yet, I have no difficulty in listening to people describing things in their own words. Kind of weird, but I know I’m not alone in this.
So, if someone were reading out the description of the DVD from the back of the case, I’d want to see it in print. But I’d be polite about it, hold out my hand and ask to see it. I certainly wouldn’t just grab the case out of their hands without permission.
