I usually call before I go over. I still have my own key and wouldn’t dream of knocking. My parent’s would assume there was something wrong if I did.
Should adult children knock? Yes, if the parents want it that way. Their house, their wishes are final.
I didn’t knock, and my parents never gave any indication they minded. But if they had, I would have done it their way.
I moved out of my mother’s house 13 years ago, and I have a key and just walk in. But, I live 50 miles away and I call before I leave my house, so I’m always expected, plus my mom has a hard time with stairs and lives in a split-level so it would physically hurt her (and piss her off) to have to come downstairs to open the door then turn around and go back upstairs. She doesn’t even go downstairs to unlock the door for me when she knows I’m coming over. I do call out as soon as I walk in, though, and my brother does the same.
I knock everywhere else, including my father’s house (which he bought ~10 years ago, so I’ve never lived there). And I don’t have a key to his place. Probably because he’s 50 miles away, too, but even if I did have a key it would just be for emergencies. I don’t have a key to anyone’s house except my mom’s, and no one has a key to my house.
I’m exactly that way, too. My best friend and his wife have told me that I don’t have to knock, and will often leave their interior door open (with just the storm door closed), but even on the rare occasions when I will walk in I rap on the doorframe first, then I call out when I enter and don’t go beyond the foyer until I hear a response. I don’t even go into co-workers’ offices without knocking, even when their doors are open – and my last company was all offices, we had no cubicles. Heck, I’ve been known to knock on cubicle walls around here, because it seems more polite than simply walking up behind someone and starting to talk. 
If my boyfriend leaves his interior door open I know he expects me to just walk in (because he’s walking the dog or working outside or something), but I still rap on the doorframe there, too. I just don’t like to simply walk into spaces that aren’t mine, except for my mom’s house.
My parents live 250 miles away, but I don’t knock when I get there. The dog lets them know when we’ve arrived, anyway, but even though it’s their retirement home and I’ve never lived there, it’d be odd to knock.
I host the parents whenever they’re in town and they don’t knock either. It’s not unheard of for one or the other to come in unexpectedly and surprise us, but they’re my parents, ffs, I can’t imagine asking them to knock.
When I first moved out, I didn’t knock or even yell, just walked in. Usually straight to the frig. 
Later, I would knock/ring, and then walk in & yell. But that was because Mom was in a huge house and didn’t get around too well, so it could be a 15 minute wait for her to get to the door. She much preferred that I come to where ever she was.
Nowadays (since she’s out of that house), I always knock, even though she usually knows I’m coming over.
Our close friends do the knock then enter & yell with each other, unless the door is locked. We also drop by unexpectedly. With any of those friends, I’m perfectly comfortable with them being in my house whether I’m there or not, and I’m perfectly OK with telling them to leave if I’m busy or not in the mood to see anyone (and vice-versa). They’ve all seen me naked and would survive if I happened to forget to lock the door before getting down to it in the foyer.
Anyone else had better knock and wait, including family, unless they’re houseguests.
When the woman-child moves out (someday, hopefully), I expect she’ll just walk in, unless I want to create some huge hairy situation. Or maybe I’ll just change the locks…
I don’t have a key to my mom’s house, but I know where she hides one. I don’t just show up, since it’s over 2 hours from my place to hers. She always expects me, and when I open the door, I call out to her. I think she’d be confused if I knocked.
As for my kid, who lives 800 miles away, the only way she’s here is if I pick her up at the airport, but I wouldn’t care if she just walked in. In fact, any family, including inlaws, can come on in as long as they’re expected. Otherwise, the place is locked and they gotta knock.
I suppose it makes a difference whether you’re close by or not. We live out of state, so my parents are always aware of when we’re going to be in town, and for that week or few days it’s an open door policy. If I were to randomly show up in town with zero advance notice, I’d knock, or more likely call when I’m a few minutes from the house.
I answered “no, of course we don’t knock!” but then reading the rest of the responses I suppose we do, really. We just knock by phone some time in advance. We don’t knock once we get to the house, though.
My sister though, she lives about an hour away and spends a lot of time with my parents, so they just expect her to come and go as if she were still living there.
As a big kid, I was usually expected and could walk right in. If it were an impromptu visit for some reason, I’d knock.
I also knock before throwing open a bathroom door. Just my upbringing, I guess. Well, I’ve no longer got parents so I guess it’s moot. I’d rather have not hastened mom’s death by scaring her to death by suddenly appearing in her home, though.
I only ring the bell if I don’t have my key. Which gets my mother annoyed. But my parents don’t live in a single family house, it’s a two-family occupied entirely by my family. Living there along with my parents are my sister, her boyfriend and two grandchildren. My mom watches my other sister’s two children after school and on days off. When my kids were younger, she watched them, too. Oh, and there’s a home attendant a few times a week. That’s an awful lot of people coming in and out regularly. It would probably be different if my parents lived alone in a single family house or an apartment.
I have a key to my mother’s house because she lives alone, and someone should.
I knock when I go over, always. Once she told me that if she knew I was coming, I should just knock and yell, “Helloooo? Mom?” and so I do that now. It just seems polite to ask before entering someone’s home, and I don’t think we should be less polite to our family members. Even if they did change our diapers.
I do get drinks from the fridge without mentioning it, though I’d never eat her food without asking if it was alright.
Knock. Even if you’re expected.
If you’re expected, I don’t know about knocking and waiting for the door to be answered. Knock and give a little “Hello, I’m here!” while entering after a bit. If you’re unexpected, knock and wait. If you’re in that weird grey area where you tried to call ahead, but couldn’t get an answer? Knock, wait to see if there’s any response, enter and “Hello, is anyone here?”
It really doesn’t matter who’s house it is… if it’s not mine, I’m not going to waltz in and start poking through the fridge before getting a “come in” signal from someone living there.
Edit: Maybe this is a Southern thing or a series of loud cars, but it seems like 90% of the time, someone has come out to meet me before I even get a chance to knock.
I have a key to my Parent’s house. I use different methods for different situations:
- If we’ve talked right before going over then I just walk in.
- If it was a prearranged visit (“come on Sunday at 5 for dinner” kind of thing) then I ring the bell, open the door and shout a “hello”, then go in (which doesn’t really make sense but…)
- If it’s an unexpected stop I ring the bell and wait for an answer (and that is a very rare occasion).
(I follow these same methods at my Grandmother’s house).
This drives my Mother nuts. She always insists that it is still my home and I should just come over and walk in whenever I want to (like my sister does). But, for some reason I feel really uncomfortable doing that. Quite frankly, I wouldn’t really like it if they just came over to my house and walked in on me unannounced, so maybe that’s it.
This is true, but, ya know, I am a single woman wink wink, nudge nudge
I’ve lived away for seven years now, but I have a key to Mom’s and I just come over if I need to. It doesn’t seem to bother her, or my brother and sister-in-law-to-be who are living there while my mom’s in Haiti.
I confess I am shocked that this is even a question - of course they should knock before entering a house that is not theirs. Do they live there? No? Then they should knock. To do otherwise shows (to me) a shocking lack of respect for their parents’ privacy.
Always.
The didn’t have to ask me to knock. It would never enter my mind NOT to knock.
Yes.
No. Why should it?
If your bedroom door is closed, or you’re in the bathroom with the door closed, is it OK for your kids to simply walk in there without knocking?
I just find it unbelievable this is even a question. No wonder your wife is upset. Me, I simply would not tolerate such a situation. I mean really, I’d insist that the locks be changed and the keys NOT be given to the kids, or I’d move out.
What, Mom will be having hot bunny sex with Dad’s ghost?
We don’t mind our boys dropping in, and they seldom knock on the front door. We certainly want them to knock on other doors that might be closed, however.
As it is, our dogs always let us know if someone is on the porch, and we usually can tell by the barking if the visitor is family or not.
By the way, before I get trashed by the powers that be- is there a “New Doper” forum where I should introduce myself?
Well, maybe not with his ghost, but take a minute and think of all the ways a single woman can relieve a little sexual tension…even an elderly one…and then ask if you want to walk in on that!
When I didn’t live here, my mom expected any of us to ring the doorbell (are we the only ones with a doorbell in this thread?) and then walk in and announce ourselves. That way if she’s using the bathroom with the door open, or getting dressed,she can close a door. We were to let ourselves in after ringing because she has arthritis and can’t move quickly. And we are to announce ourselves as we walk in so that she doesn’t become frightened that someone is breaking in.
With my kids, I would never just walk in, even if they are expecting me, because they might be frolicking. So I knock and wait.
If your stepdaughters are upset, maybe you should list a few reasons for them why it would be in their best interest to NOT just walk in. Make them understand it’s for their benefit as well. They need to learn now that parents are allowed to have sex anytime of the day in any room of the house, or to eat breakfast naked, or to strip off the clothes they are wearing in the laundry room and then walk naked through the house. They need to learn this BEFORE they discover that you do this. And maybe the fact that your wife is upset by their behavior means that she WANTS to have sex with you on the dining room table (foyers are a bit cramped) and is holding out hope. To allow them to traipse into the house unannounced means she will have given up any hope of afternoon delight.
I wouldn’t dream of letting myself into my parents house, even if I was expected. It’s their house, not mine.
Now that I think about it, my parents have always set boundaries - as a child, I wasn’t allowed in their room unless I was invited.
I think what this thread shows is that different families have different boundaries.