Poll: "Star crossed" lovers.

Has anyone else ever had one of “those” loves? The one that got away? Sortof? The one magical person that you just can’t quite forget? There was no “right” or “wrong” there was just some complicated, perhaps unspoken reason you couldn’t stay together, but yet you kept gravitating toward each other for years before “half a loaf” was no LONGER better than none, and you were finally able to break away? Or were you? Are some of you still in that “magic” but agonizing half life love?

Tell me about it. In detail, especially how you finally “got over” that one magical storybook-like love.

From a fellow “sufferer”.

You, my dear, have exceeded your monthly quota of quotation marks :slight_smile: But to answer your question:

The summer I was 15, a 14-year-old boy in my neighborhood (we’ll call him “M”) fell in love with me. He and I became friends first. We both had little sisters who became friends, and then we introduced our mothers to one another. It took me until the end of summer to realize M wanted to be more than just friends, and when he finally got enough courage to ask me to be his girlfriend, I agreed. We were very close, and spent a lot of time together, talking and engaging in quite a bit of heavy petting.

His mother disapproved of me. She suggested to M that I was “nice enough for puppy love, but I wouldn’t let you marry her.” At which point M, all of 15 years old, replied, “I have no intention of asking your permission.” Apparently his mom took him rather seriously, and forbade him to see me again - which of course is exactly the wrong thing to do. Our relationship took on a tragic air, which naturally made it all the more important to us. There was much strife in our respective families, and M and I defied everyone, determined to be together.

Eventually, I succumbed to pressure and officially broke it off. But, as our families were friendly, M and I kept ending up in the same places at the same time, and though I had other boyfriends, he had other girlfriends, whenever he and I were together, all bets were off. We could not stay away from one another for long. The relationship, such as it was, continued in that vein through our adolescence and well into his military career. When I was 22, M got a girl in Germany pregnant. His mother begged me to go to Germany and “get him away from her.” I was appalled. He married the girl, and a year later I met my husband.

On the day I gave birth to my daughter, the phone rang in my hospital room. It was M, and he wanted to wish me well. I went very nearly to pieces. Six months later, I was invited to his sister’s wedding. I left my husband at home; he left his wife in Germany. It was NOT a comfortable evening. The chemistry between us was palpable, not only to him and me, but to everyone in the room. I spent the entire evening avoiding his eye, and went home early.

For the next 14 years, he remained at the back of my brain and in a little, quiet piece of my heart. Last year, he looked me up and got in touch via email. I am not exaggerating a bit when I say seeing his name on the email made me break out in a cold sweat. We exchanged a few casual emails, and suddenly, we both realized that was once a heart-pounding romance had developed into a very affectionate, but completely platonic, friendship. We had a nice long email discussion about this phenomenon, and I’m happy to report that M and I are genuinely friends now, and there’s no more “chemistry”. This is a very good thing. I have a wonderful husband of 15 years who I love very much; M has a very nice wife of 16 years that HE loves very much.

A happy ending.

Yes, it’s a long and involved and somewhat boring story, but I have been through a similar situation.

Somehow my 18-year-old brain and heart thought that if something was hard to get, it was really WORTH getting. Make any sense? I enjoyed the challenge and the hardships and especially the drama of it all.

Which is somewhat understandable in an 18-year-old girl, but less healthy for a 30-year-old woman. Yes, I was hung up on this guy (Bob) for almost 12 years, through his marriage, through my other relationships, all that time … !!! We were never officially “together” but we had a chemistry and some kind of a connection and we hooked up occasionally throughout the years.

I really thought I was in love with him and that someday, somehow we would end up together.

Then I was lucky enough to meet a guy with whom everything was easy and simple and straightforward and “right”, and I realized that I didn’t even have anything in common with Bob anymore - that even though we talked occasionally and sent the odd email - there was absolutely NOTHING there. It was like my interest in him had become more of a habit than anything else.

Once I fell truly in love, I was finally able to let go of my feelings for him. It was so wonderfully liberating. I realize how much of my life I wasted and how I had short-changed my other romantic relationships because a small part of me was always holding back, hoping that Bob would come along and finally sweep me off my feet.


She came to visit a friend at my college. I asked her out, and we hit it off more than well, but she had to leave to go back home at 1 am. We wrote. I sent her a Valentine, but she didn’t send me one. Then I went to visit her at her college, 600 miles away, and we fell in love. She visited me, but for some reason we neve connected over the summer. We went together to Florida to see Apollo 17, and visited each other some more, and broke up on our first anniversary. I visited her once the next year, when I was in grad school despite being involved with someone else, but we had a communication breakdown. I only saw her once, 3 years later, which went okay. Then we started talking again, after I called her to bemoan how Amtrak had killed my hamster (a very long story) and I invited her to help me move from Illinois to Louisiana. She actually came, we got engaged, and have been married for 26 years. :smiley:

I don’t think we ever had more than three normal dates, and we never lived closer than 600 miles apart. But it doesn’t matter.

If I ever have a relationship in my life that isnt what you have described itd be a miracle.

Thank you one and all. Yes, I know, the quotations overrun my posts sometimes. I just occasionally feel AWFULLY stifled by the printed word when talking to others and try to inject some ooooomph into it, or something :smiley:

Yes, all of your stories have the same …flavor… so to speak as my own situation.

Thank you especially Voyager maybe I’ll be as lucky as you and your wife!