My SO would have a HUGE problem with all of them, because the whole idea that he’d be out of town and I’d be doing something other than enjoying my precious alone-time would indicate that I was mentally or physically ill. When he’s gone, I bar the doors and refuse to answer the phone. MY house, all alone. MINE. Not gonna go see NOONE. 
Option a ) would be unlikely as there are few family members I am still friendly with 
Option e or f might be a problem. Neither of us regularly hang out with any exes. So the timing of the get together to be during a time I was away on business, which only happens rarely, might make me :dubious: . If this were an ex that my SO regularly got together with, and this was just one more action movie or baseball game in his regular routine, not a problem. Or if the ex just happened to be in town and this was a sort of unique opportunity for them to see each other, I could understand that. If that last situation happened to me, I’d be sure to give my SO a heads up to make sure he was comfortable. We do trust each other absolutely, but I think being extra considerate about this type of thing helps the trust.
This is the only one either of us might raise an eyebrow at. But that’s just as much because both of our previous relationships ended on…less than stellar terms. (Nothing really dramatic, and we’ve since made up, but we’re not friends). So it would be a little odd for both of us.
The rest is all shrugs.
g) You and the friend of the sex you’re attracted to and whom you previously dated rent a movie and take it back to the friend’s place, and the movie is called “Doctor Tongue’s Vinyl Vixens Vol. 16.”
With my current girlfriend, I’d be fairly uncomfortable with f). This because my last relationship ended when I didn’t ever mind when she did f), but I had no idea she was actually sleeping with the dude after the movie they saw/drinks they had/dinner she made/etc.
My current girlfriend has given me no reason not to trust her, so I spend some time battling the issues as they come up, like that she’s on a softball team with an ex. I don’t like it, but I try not to let it affect her having a good time playing softball.
So I’d shrug at all of them. But f), I’d shrug reluctantly and wish she’d have found something else to do.
e and f.
Everything through “e” has almost certainly happened in one form or another, and it’s not the sort of thing either of us would be the least bit concerned about. In fact, “e” is fairly common in both of our cases.
Since my wife and I have been together most of our adult lives, there’s only one person that would even qualify for “f” in my case. I imagine my wife would raise an eyebrow since I’ve never expressed any interest in being friends with my ex again in recent memory, but probably not to the point that she’d object. If she went out with an ex, I don’t think it would phase me, either.
None of the above would bother him in the slightest. He would probably actively encourage me to do any or all of them since the most likely situation would be me staying home along on the computer while he was gone.
All very interesting, folks.
It came up last night in a phone conversation I was having with a potential suitor. I mentioned that I actually have quite a few friends who are men I’ve dated (most of them men I’d dated for only a brief time or, if for longer, never in a terribly serious/exclusive manner). Anyway, several of the people I do things with on a fairly regular basis are men I’ve dated.
This guy was totally flabbergasted by the concept, and was positive that this could only be the case because I’m currently unattached – that if I were in a relationship, all these friendships would pretty much be cut off. “Well, yeah, I’d probably see less of these people,” I said, “but if I had a bf and he were out of town and I felt like seeing a movie, sure, these would be people I might call for such an outing.” He said that he would be totally freaked by such a move, and that most people he knew would be totally freaked by such a move, and that the announcement that a gf was planning to see a movie with an old flame would give rise to a huge honking fight.
“WTF,” said I – and decided, natch, to poll y’all.
Sounds like many of you wouldn’t have any problem at all with an SO seeing a movie with an ex – and that those who did have a problem with it would want a discussion (rather than a huge honking fight) about it.
Interesting.
Fine with everything up to and including F, on both sides. My SO has gone to stay with an old flame over a weekend as part of a holiday that I couldn’t go on, and I regularly see a friend who used to be a major crush. The SO hasn’t given me any reason to mistrust her, and I’m glad to say I haven’t either. I like this level of trust, and would be deeply disappointed if either of us broke it. I couldn’t live with policing the relationship and being paranoid about it - she’s an adult, and so am I. If she wants to see people, great. I trust her to be responsible. If my behaviour upsets her, she hasn’t mentioned it.
Less than delighted about F, but neither of us would stop the other from doing it, nor would we have a major fight over it.
(F) would probably cause hurt feelings, whether it was me or my wife getting chummy with an ex. We trust each other completely; infidelity would not be a concern no matter what the situation. Maybe we’re just jealous types. Irrational and silly, yes, but sometimes emotions work that way.
None would pose a problem.
I suppose for me it would depend on your exact definition of this:
Now in my incredibly naive worldview, “dated briefly” or “not serious” with someone I would take to mean that you didn’t sleep with them. In which case I wouldn’t have the problem that this guy would have.
But in reality it seems that we live in a world where dating is synonymous with fucking someone, and that often times people will have sex for a while before they even consider moving onto the “dating/exclusive” stage of a relationship. I would have a bit of a problem with that.
She would have no problem with any of these and I can say the same. We’ve built a lot of trust in 20 years, so with that comes a great deal of freedom. It’s nice.
Jammer
Bit of a problem with the fact that I’m a slut? or bit of a problem with the fact that I can be platonic friends with someone who has seen me naked?
F would merit an eyebrow raise, but nothing more unless there were other reasons to be distrusting.
Part of our deal is that neither of us hangs out alone with members of the opposite sex. So E and F are out; I wouldn’t do them, and he wouldn’t like them much. No, this doesn’t mean we don’t trust each other.
You also might not be getting a real sampling here though, since people are kinda reluctant to say that someone else tries to control them.
I probably wouldn’t have a problem with any of them but the last one, and that would be a short discussion. My theory is that if someone is going to cheat, nothing you can do is going to stop them. He however, would want discussions about going out with single friends, or a fight about anything involving a sex that I could be attracted to.
Bit of a problem wanting to pal around with someone you’ve slept with. I apologize if my personal opinion and feelings on the matter offended you.