I have a good set of screaming lungs and a baseball bat by the bed. Obviously, dialing 911 would be the best defense, but the way my apartment’s configured, odds are good that if an assailant comes in through the front door in the middle of the night, he’ll be between me and any phone extension.
But he just may trip over the black cat in the dark, fall down the stairs, and give me the opportunity to run for the phone and the kitchen knives.
Pfft. My son, even though he sleeps on the living room couch (can’t take the time after staying up late playing video games to actually stagger up to his bed to go to sleep) wouldn’t wake up if the intruder stepped on him. I’d have to hope they wouldn’t steal the couch with him on it.
I’ve found that hanging with a better class of people has eliminated 99% of the chance of being burgled. I don’t live in a shitty neighborhood and my current friends aren’t a bunch of parolees, so it’s a non-issue.
That would work except that would leave my wife and children in there with the intruder.
Drachillix and his Glock 19
I’ve made an excellent choice in husbands
Oh yeah dude, you’re fine. 
All I have is a lock on my door…and a pretty crappy lock, at that. I am on the second floor, however, so that really is the only point of entry. However, I do live in a very low-crime community, so I’m not really worried. If someone tried to break in, they would make a lot of noise, cause the door sticks and even if the thief picked it, as oppossed to just bashing it open, he’d have to put his weight into getting it to open, and I’m a light enough sleeper so that would wake me up. The door is in my kitchen, and my bedroom is off the kitchen, with no door. So I’d probably just get up, and run straight at the guy and tackle him to the ground. The element of suprise is your friend. I’d be punching his head and kneeing his groin before he knows what’s what. 
However, I pity the fool who tries to break into my parents house. First off, my dad’s dog, while not vicous in the least (unless one can be slobbered to death,) does give the illusion of protecting the house. The very instant someone sets foot on our property, regardless of whether the dog is awake or asleep, it will immediatly start barking like there is no tomorrow. Even if this does not scare off the burgler, it will wake up my dad. He owns several pistols, a couple rifles, and a shotgun. He would rgab one, I’m sure, but probably won’t use it, though, because my dad has the advantage of being both the town fire chief and first constable. He would just have to call 911, let them know who he is, and the police would be there faster than anyone deemed possible. Emergency service personell take care of their oen. 
A pair of attack ferrets. 
Aaaaah, I take it you speak from experience. So, are you protected by the familia or are you the hunted? If it’s the latter, you know they won’t stop looking for you until you’re dead. Even then they might keep looking for any offspring you might have. :eek:
This question (and many of the answers) certainly illustrates one cultural difference between the US and England.
I have a lock on my door.
If I hear an intruder, I call the police.
Neither the police nor I are armed.
I keep a .357 mag loaded and ready along with two speed loaders. There is an extra box of ammo around somewhere, but I am a pretty good shot so I hope it wouldn’t be needed.
I’d probably start off with a call to 911, then commence with the:
bear repellant spray,
10 rounds from a .40 cal.,
7 rounds from a 357 mag.,
6 rounds from a .44 mag.,
as many rounds as 3 12 gauge shotguns can produce,
22-250 and 7 mag. rounds till they’re empty.
Then I start flinging feces cause it’s all I got left.
There’s generally an empty beer bottle within arm’s reach of any spot in my house. I also have a Puerto Rican wife who knows how to break and use them.
But mainly it’s the nice neighborhood.
First the Locked door.
Then the Assualt Cat.
Next the Remington 12 guage, pump action, “Boomstick”(Shop Smart! Shop S-mart!"). Shells in the magazine, but none in the chamber(which prevents an accidental discharge, but makes it easy enough to be ready in case I need it).
Crap, that should have been
First the Locked door.
Then the Assualt Cat.
911, of course
Next the Remington 12 guage, pump action, “Boomstick”(Shop Smart! Shop S-mart!"). Shells in the magazine, but none in the chamber(which prevents an accidental discharge, but makes it easy enough to be ready in case I need it).
Damn Dopers is strapped!
I’d probably go for the .45 Glock. My wife would be calling 911 for back-up. I don’t think Liebchen the miniature Dachshund would do much good for me. I think he is up to about 4 pounds now.
Main Weapon: Sturm & Ruger .357 Blackhawk
Other Options: Various pipes, bats, clubs
Quick story: One evening I was sitting on the couch when something attracted my attention to the front door. Looking over, I saw the doorknob turning very slowly. The deadbolt was locked, but there’s no way they knew that. It was nice to be able to grab the shootin iron and know I had something waiting on their ass.