I didn’t vote, but this was pretty much my reaction.
I was at a bar, sitting next to me is an attractive black lady (I didn’t know her). As we’re sitting there, some stupid rube stumbles up to the bar and orders a drink. As he’s waiting for his drink he leans over and tells the woman: “Yer pretty for a black girl.”
The lady gives him the stink eye, he then grabs his drink and walks away.
It amazes me how clueless people can be.
Yeah, my friend shared this today on FB.
Look, if you ever say the words “you’re pretty/awesome/wonderful/smart for…” just stop. Is the next word going to ever be anything except implying the thing after “for” is a negative trait? Maybe the only time it works without offense is “you’re good for a beginner”, but that’s still a statement of “in spite of this trait”.
You don’t usually limit yourself that much.
Pretty much like any sentence that starts like “I’m not racist/sexist/prejudiced/whatever-ist, but” and then is invariably followed by a racist/sexist/prejudiced/whatever-ist comment, sometimes with the added disclaimer “–I have a lot of XXX friends–”. Now that one I’ve heard more than I’d like to admit.
You mean you’re going out for a drink voluntarily, or you’re at a conference or something and you have to be around the person whether you want to or not? (The video makes it seem like these are things people say openly around the workplace.) I guess you wouldn’t be around people like that unless you were forced to. I mean, it doesn’t happen with friends, right?
And how often does it actually happen?
Aw, but the handbook said negging always works.
Dave Cappelle? Does this just have his name on it, or was he actually involved in some way. That guy does racial humor right!!
It was mildly humorous. Not nearly as funny as the Asian one, though.
My reaction didn’t fit any of the poll options.
I’m white, thought a few were funny and true, but others were kind of stupid.
I didn’t vote because I’m white and I thought it dumb; which isn’t exactly the same is neutral (to me anyway). Saying stupid insensitive things isn’t only in the domain of white people talking to black people.
It’s happened to me with coworkers I consider “friends”, sure. They’ll bop into my office, notice that I’m listening to rock music, and then say something like, “Do you listen to any rap? I’m blacker than you, girl!” Or I might utter an expression that’s common with black people, and they’ll suddenly start speaking faux-Ebonics. Or they may mention a certain basketball player that attends my alma mater and point out, apropos of nothing, how well he speaks, and then ask if this means he has parents like mine that value education and hard work*. Sometimes the comments are so subtle and minor that I don’t notice them until long after the interaction, and when I do I don’t feel anything. And then some of them, like the last one, register a giant WTF!..but I STILL keep my mouth shut so that I won’t appear angry to the lame-ass white person trying to relate to me the best way they know how.
I’m not going to bother hazarding a guess because I believe nothing I say will be taken seriously. I’ll either be accused of exaggerating the truth. Or I’ll be belittled for complaining about something that doesn’t happen every second of the day. Suffice it to say, it happens enough for the video to reasonate with me. It happens enough to other black people so a video like this makes sense to make.
*My boss was the one who asked me this. I was so dumbfounded that I didn’t know what to say. I felt awkward around him for a couple of days afterwards, but I don’t think he knew it. But I really like my boss, and I think my boss likes me. He may be clueless, but I don’t think he’s a racist. So no harm, no foul. But sure, hearing shit like that gets old after all.
From the time I was 17 and in arguments in high school back in 1963 I decided there is only one race, and when enrolling my kids in school I always marked other in the race category and wrote in human. Yes I’m white, 3 of 4 grandparents born inEurope etc…
No I have never heard moat of these types of comments and doubt very much if most black folks have ever experienced more than one in a lifetime.
We white people have a lot of problems, too, you know. Sometimes we have to share our vacation homes with people we don’t really like all that much! And the mail. How would you black people like to get nothing but pre-approved credit cards and pottery barn catalogs?
shamelessly stolen from SNL.
Given there’s only one race, who are these “black folks” of which you speak? Terrible shame about them being so untruthful, those imaginary black folk.
The racists of this country thank you for your support. They couldn’t survive without people like you who are willing to look the other way and pretend there’s no problem.
It was a very thought-provoking and funny video. I’m non-American European if that matters.
People forget that even if everyone is equally racially insensitive. A group a quarter the size would get sixteen times the stupidity.
4Whites focused on 1 Blacks = 4annoyance 1 Blacks focusing on 4Whites = 0.25annoyance. 4/0.25= 16 times more.
I’ve seen the Asian one, but I’ve already experienced similarly stupid comments from Asians so it isn’t that funny.
I think it can be racist, but odds are just as good the person is just a clueless asshole. I’m white, and I’ve had more strangers decide to touch my hair without asking than I can count. Why? Red, long, wavy hair is unusual, and many people are poorly socialized.
My main reaction is “what is this from, 1930?” Maybe it’s because I live in the very racially mixed area of Western Washington, but this strikes me more as “lamer than mother in law jokes” than anything else. In an age when interracial friendships and relationships don’t bat an eye anymore, the notion of a strictly binary race field is ridiculously outdated. Why not “if poor whites said the stuff rich whites say” or “if northern blacks said the stuff southern blacks say”?
This is the south, so that type of nonsense happens on a regular basis more than people care to admit. I appreciated what it had to point out, but feel it’s probably preaching to the choir for the ones who already get it and are lost on those that are (intentionally?) obtuse. Once in a lifetime? Really??
There’s hyperbole for humorous effect in there, but it definitely rings true to me.
I like the Asian one better, though. I think the reversals work better.
Well, that’s very Free To Be You and Me of you.
Then you’re not paying attention.
I think that’s literally something straight out of The Office. I’d be curious to know what kind of place it is. I mean, are you like the only black employee in the whole place? Or is it in the suburbs of Maine or something?
I don’t know how you keep from slapping them in the face.
In that case, it could serve as a useful PSA, if only you could get people like that to watch and understand it.
I think being clueless is racist. Racism isn’t just about hatred or dislike–it’s a mental framework, that even well-intentioned people can perpetuate. It doesn’t have to be personal. The stereotypical southern sheriff thing, while still a reality, actually just serves as a convenient, easy-to-hate villian, that draws attention away from more systemic socio-economic problems that are harder to solve.