- Are you freaking kidding me?
- Are you frikking kidding me?
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- Are you a purple and yellow giraffe mutant sent to undermine all we hold dear?
0
voters
- phaeton (appropriately tall) with a harness team of 4 giraffes
- shark with a saddle
- pair of trained wolveines with foot boards on their backs
- What?
- Carr’s table water crackers and Tillamook extra sharp
0
voters
You get paid $70 for every day that you do not do laundry (with machines). Buying additional clothing is not an option; you’re limited to your current wardrobe. (Hand-washing and drying on a line, though, is okay.) How often are you doing laundry with the machines now?
- 1-2x per week
- 1-2x per month
- once every few months
- 1-2x per year
- Inapplicable; I’m using the hand-washing and line-drying option forever
- other answer
0
voters
When you were a kid where did you think Santa Claus lived?
- The actual North Pole
- Just somewhere in the Arctic, like the Lapland region of Finland, not necessarily the North Pole.
- Somewhere else
- I never believed in Santa / I grew up in a culture that doesn’t celebrate Christmas
- What do you mean “When I was a kid”?
0
voters
Wheel cutter with handle:
Wheel cutter, handle-less:
Rocker knife, “mezzaluna”:
How do you cut a pizza?
- Wheel cutter with handle
- Wheel cutter, handle-less
- Rocker knife, “mezzaluna”
- Scissors
- I just use a regular kitchen knife.
- I use something else that doesn’t resemble anything listed above.
- Whatever they use at the pizza place I order from.
- I leave it whole and eat it with a knife and fork like a proper Italian person.
- I don’t eat pizza, thus I have no need to cut one.
- Something entirely else
0
voters
Can I offer you some unsolicited advice?
- Yes please!
- You can certainly try.
- I didn’t ask, but I’ll listen and give your advice exactly the amount of consideration it deserves.
- No. I’ll ask for it if and when I want it.
- Only if it’s some kind of an emergency.
- Something else
0
voters
How do you prefer to read books?
- Exclusively E-Reader
- Mostly E-Reader
- Exclusively paper
- Mostly paper
- Half E-Reader, half paper
- I don’t read books
- Other/no preference/And you read your Emily Dickinson and I my Robert Frost
0
voters
How do you play your Solitaire?
- Exclusively with a deck of real cards
- Usually with a deck of real cards, sometimes an electronic device
- About half cards, half electronic device
- Usually an electronic device, sometimes real cards
- Exclusively electronic devices
- I don’t play Solitaire
- Other
0
voters
Without looking it up, which do you think there are more of in America?
- Homeless
- Millionaires
0
voters
What is your approximate level of Tinnitus? [from Tinnitus Handicap Inventory]
- Catastrophic (78–90). All side effects caused by tinnitus are present at a very severe level. The subject requires medical assistance very frequently, including neuropsychiatric help.
- Severe (score 58–76). Tinnitus is continuously perceived and hardly masked by external noise. It alters the sleep cycle and can interfere with the subject’s daily activities. Relaxing activities are compromised. Subjects with this level of tinnitus often require medical consultations.
- Moderate (score 38–56). Tinnitus is perceived even in the presence of environmental sound; however, daily activities are not impaired. It is perceived less under concentration. Interference with sleep and relaxing activities is not infrequent.
- Mild (score 18–36). Tinnitus is easily masked by environmental sounds and forgotten during daily activities. It can occasionally interfere with sleep but not with daily activities.
- Very mild (score 0–16). Tinnitus is perceived only in silence and is easily masked. It does not interfere with sleep or with daily activities.
0
voters
Ever notice pizza is frequently photographed with just one slice cut out, often being lifted out to demonstrate the stretchy cheesiness? I mean I get it, you want to preserve the rest of it because it looks better whole, but that’s just not what pizza looks like in real life.
- Yes I’ve noticed that.
- Yes I’ve noticed that, and it’s kind of weird.
- No
- No, but I will now.
0
voters
Today I realized that there is a startling contradiction in the lyrics to “Let It Snow”.
First they sing, “since we’ve no place to go…”
Then later, its “my dear, we’re still goodbye-ing…”
and
“all the way home I’ll be warm…”
What the hell, Let It Snow?!? Do you have some place to go or not??
Have you noticed this before?
- Yes
- No
0
voters
Hey, that second pizza photo above doesn’t show any particular stretchy cheesiness!
- Hmm, you’re right
- Well, maybe it does, a little
- Disagree
- Happy holidays!
- Buddhist/atheist
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voters
How many Christmas gifts that you received in 2022 can you remember right now, with 1 minute to think?
- 0
- 1 or 2
- 3 or 4
- More than 4
- I did not receive any Christmas gifts last year.
0
voters
You are hiking in the wilderness. You come around a blind curve and suddenly are face to face with a wild animal. Which of these animals would you be most alarmed to encounter?
- Crocodile
- Grizzly bear
- Hippopotamus
- Lion
- Rattlesnake
- Wolf
0
voters
Have you ever had a fart go horribly horribly wrong?
- Yes, oh god
- What?
0
voters
- I love mushrooms!
- Ugh, slimy disgusting things
0
voters
(Inspired by some posts in the “Dumb obvious jokes” thread.)
How do you pronounce the words “cot”, “caught”, “cock” and “caulk”? (If you add an “L” sound to “caulk”, ignore that aspect; I’m interested in the vowels.)
- “Cot” and “caught” are the same, and “cock” and “caulk” are the same.
- “Cot” and “caught” are different, and “cock” and “caulk” are different.
- “Cot” and “caught” are the same, but “cock” and “caulk” are different.
- “Cot” and “caught” are different, but “cock” and “caulk” are the same.
- I don’t know how to pronounce at least one of these words.
0
voters
- Cashews are great!
- Meh, they’re okay
- Chalky. Ick
0
voters
How many Christmas gifts that you received in 2021 can you remember right now, with 1 minute to think?
- 0
- 1 or 2
- 3 or 4
- More than 4
- I did not receive any Christmas gifts in 2021
0
voters