Poopy

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

So early this morning, about six a.m. as sometimes happens when she goes to sleep early, my daughter wakes up, gets out of bed, grabs her little sippy cup, takes a drink, and then I wake up as she grabs my leg and hauls herself into bed with Mrs. Scylla and I.

She climbs over my back, and lays between us with a contented sigh.

I open my eyes, and she’s looking at me happily. I give her a big smile, not completely awake.
“Poopy.” She says.

I stop smiling.

I close my eyes, and start to fall back asleep. Sometimes the best thing to do is to ignore these kind of problems. They might go away, or someone else can deal with them.

I’m almost asleep, but I start to feel guilty. Why should I? “Poopy” doesn’t necessarily mean that anything has happened. It could be a hypothetical. She might be just thinking about it, or planning it in the future.

My daughter shifts around uncomfortably. I get a whiff of something that is clearly not hypothetical.

I open my eyes again. My daughter’s looking at me expectantly with those big brown eyes.

“Poopy,” she says. It’s a statement of fact.

I sit up. Mrs. Scylla is deeply asleep. Damn.

I pick up my daughter. God I don’t really want to do this.

An idea strikes my brain, and I lay back down, holding my daughter and positioning her stinky diaper right by Mrs. Scylla’s face.

She’ll wake up, I’ll pretend I’m asleep, and she’ll change the diaper.

I do this. Nothing happens. My wife remains asleep.

I snuggle my daughter’s butt a little closer to my wife’s nose.

Nothing.

What the hell? Why not?

I do one of those I’m-asleep-but-rolling-over kind of things and push my daughter’s butt right into my wife’s face. That’ll do it.

Absolutely nothing happens. Dammit how can she sleep through that? That diaper’s smushed right into her nose.

She sleeps on.

Succumbing to the inevitable, I get up and change the diaper.

Halfway through I turn around for a wipe, and my wife is staring at me. As soon as I catch her eyes she quickly shuts them, pretending to be asleep, then starts giggling.

“I saw you. You were awake the whole time?” Her whole body shakes uncontrollably, in a lame attempt to pretend she’s still asleep.

“I can’t believe you didn’t move when her ass was in your face.”

I get back into bed with our daughter.

“It’s a good thing you gave up when you did,” she says. “I don’t think I could have held my breath any longer.”

2

hehe

You just know you’re going to wake up to a face full of diaper one morning, don’t you? :smiley:

Poopy…hey, at least it wasn’t on the cat!

3

'S what you get for trying to pass off the diaper duty. You should know the rule by now - first one to find out does the changing. You lost, me bucko, and ya tried to weasel out of it. I should prepare to suffer revenge if I were you. This one won’t be forgotten soon.

4

Ya know, if I was Mrs. Scylla, I’d’ve dopeslapped you for that.

Robin

5

I agree. I knew where you were going with it as soon as you tried to tell yourself it was a false alarm.

And, if there’s any justice in the world, the next time it’ll be oreo cookie[sup]TM[/sup] poop!

6

Hmm. We used to have the same rule with our cats–whoever saw the mess first cleaned it. My brother and I when we were young developed very selective vision.

The word poopy made me giggle though–when I was about your daughter’s age, I said the word poopy, and my mom told me not to use that kind of language. Being an avid Sesame Street watcher, I immediately came back with: “Poopy means lawnmower in Spanish.”

My mom was on the phone with her best friend, a high school Spanish teacher at the time. She confirmed, indeed, that poopy does not mean lawnmower in Spanish.

7

Thanks, Scylla, your post made my day. Despite what others say, I think its the time after they have graduated from diapers, but before they take an interest in the opposite sex and recreational pharmaceuticals that makes it all worthwhile.

8

:giggling furiously:

Boy, and you thought you were some smart cookie, doin’ the ol’ “I’ll let her get a wiff of diaper” thing, didn’t ya?

Ha! That’s all I have to say! Ha!

Scylla: 0
Mrs. Scylla: 1

9

I have never feigned sleep so effectively as now, after having two years of practice pretending not to hear Cranky Jr. when he wakes up too early for my tastes.

Unfortunately, Mr. Cranky is also getting very, very skilled at faking sleep. It’s pretty much a Mexican standoff most weekend mornings, each of us trying to be the one who can play possum longer before guilt or giggles ruin it .

The dog is the deal breaker. Not being diapered, the potential for an unpleasant cleanup from said canine is too much to chance. Whomever he nudges with that cold wet desperate nose generally gets out of bed pronto.

10

Poopy… Hehehe… that’s too cute. Someday, I’m gonna get to deal with that. :slight_smile:

With my sister it was always “Piddle” or “Poodle”. I still can’t say poodle without giggling like a school girl. :wink:

11

Bunny, have you been reading Scyllas posts?

Should read more like-
Scylla: 0
Mrs. Scylla: bunches, many, a whole friggin’ lot

I sometimes wonder if Scyllaisn’t actually Mrs. Scylla and she is just writing from his POV so that she can say all these great things about herself! [sub]Kidding! Don’t hurt me, Mrs. S![/sub]

12

I, um, just meant for this subject. Yeah, that’s it, just for poopy.

:hides shamefacedly:

13

Y’know, I told myself the first time I saw someone say “Wow, I gotta use that for my sig now!” I told myself I would try not to go there myself.

I have failed, utterly. I can’t resist. Thanks for ruining it, Rasa. :slight_smile:

14

And here I thought I’d come up with a strategy that couldn’t possibly fail me. Speaking as someone who’s preparing to buy stock in Pampers come October, I guess I’m grateful to you, Scylla, for testing that particular avoidance method before I got a chance to.

Experience is the best teacher, as long as it’s someone else’s. Well, back to the drawing board…

But mark my words, like Wile E. Coyote, I’ll never give up trying to figure a way to completely avoid EVER coming in contact with my daughter-to-be’s excretia.

Sooooper-geeenius… “Hello, ACME?”

15

Thank you, that made my day. And I needed my day made.
My father tried to do something like that with me and my mother once, but it ended up a little bit… umm… worse in his situation. <shrug> Count yourself lucky (I’m not going to say what happened, it’s really too gross… just… count yourself lucky) <grin>
Thanks again!

::goes back to data imput, humming contentedly::

16

I hope you’re not gonna blame Scylla for your data errors…

Having lived through the Diaper Years[sup]TM[/sup] of twins, I can sympathize. Unfortunately, when both little ones are… uh, fragrant, it’s hard to feign sleep.