Reprobate that I am, I always knew she lied, that bitch, Cocaine. Which is saying a lot because I ALWAYS mishear lyrics.
“Don’t sleep in the subway, darling.”
Sleeping in the subway is always an excellent idea.
I always thought it was “shake all night, shake all night, shake all night. Cocaine.”
Hehe, it’s funny how many different mishearings of the chorus of “Cocaine” there are. Seems to be one of the most misunderstood songs of all. Or maybe both Cale and Clapton are just mumblers.
Wow! A bit garage bandy but a great energy level. I like those guys! Never heard of them.
Encouragement of alcohol abuse is a theme of many songs (for instance, George Thorogood’s If You Don’t Start Drinkin’, I’m Gonna Leave).
As for Screamin’ Jay, I don’t recall bad advice in Constipation Blues, but Feast of the Mau Mau might be a different story.
Brush your teeth with a piece of a goose toenail
After death, steal a breath from a drunk in jail
Pull the skin off your friend with a razor blade
End tonight, change tomorrow, and bring back yesterday
Well, the last part works.
*but do not make wine from the spine of your bulldog.
“Watch out where the huskies go, and don’t you eat that yellow snow.”
Actually, you do not need to watch if other evidence supervenes.
Oh, as for bad advice about cocaine, there’s also the fitting “Koka Kola” by the Clash:
I get good advice from the advertising world
Treat me nice, party girl
Koka adds life where there isn’t any
So freeze, man, freeze
I don’t think so at all. “If you can’t be with the one you love - love the one you’re with” brings back poignant memories of us friends. It means just what it says.
Country music has a lot of bad advice
I knew I had to ask him
About the mysteries of life
He spat between his boots
And he replied
“It’s faster horses
Younger women
Older whiskey
More money”
And though Getting Schwifty sounds like it could be fun, shitting on the floor is unsanitary and will get you kicked out of many establishments
I like the Jackson Browne “Cocaine”:
I went to the Doctor, down at the hospital,
He said, “Son it says here you’re 27, but that’s impossible.”
“You look like you could be 45.”
Cocaine, running all 'round my brain.
Yes, regarding “Suicide is painless”, the director Robert Altman sought to write the stupidest lyrics for the tune. When dissatisfied with the results, he jobbed it out to his 15 year old son to pen the lyrics:
‘I’m sorry but there’s just too much stuff in this 45-year-old brain. I can’t write anything nearly as stupid as what we need’ Bob said, ‘All is not lost. I’ve got a 15-year-old kid who’s a total idiot.’
So his son Michael wrote the lyrics, and made about $2 million in royalties, while director Bob made $75K for making the movie.
Always get a percentage!
… Stand by your man…'cuz women should be doormats…
“If you wanna get to heaven,
You’ve got to raise a little hell.”
Pretty sure the Ozark Mountain Daredevils were a little shaky on the whole redemption concept.
Well, like the bumper stickers in the megachurch parking lots say: “We Christians aren’t perfect, just forgiven”. 
It is not, in fact, hip to be square.
At 2:48 in Killing Yourself to Live by Black Sabbath, Ozzy tells you to
Smoke it!
Get high!
Go ahead and hate your neighbor
Go ahead and cheat a friend
Should I drown some puppies too? Yeesh.
I find a spoonful of sugar is a good cure for hiccups.