This is just hypothetical, m’kay?
Nu, so imagine you have a porch pirate problem. Items left at your doorstep by Amazon drivers magically disappear. So, I’m wondering what is the best breed/type of bee, hornet, or wasp available from Amazon would be the most effective in deterring further piratage? I don’t want just honeybees, I want bees (or their ilk) with bad attitudes.
I have a huge Africanized bee colony living in my block wall, free for the taking.
Are you imagining that you can order a box full of live, ill-tempered wasps or hornets from Amazon?
If they don’t have frickin’ laser beams on their heads, I will be sorely disappointed.
I assume, since this is hypothetical, that Ranger_Jeff is imagining they can box up live, ill-tempered wasps/hornets in a package that can be disguised to look like an Amazon package.
Perhaps something like this (a Mark Rober glitter/stink bomb with bells and whistles), only meaner, cheaper, and simpler.
I mean, that’s seemingly more* feasible, but the OP did actually ask “what is the best breed/type of bee, hornet, or wasp available from Amazon.”
*- “More” as in “yes, hypothetically, one could put a wasp nest in an Amazon box, whereas it’s unlikely that one can actually order a nest full of live wasps from Amazon.”
So, how do you turn these savage beasts of prey “off” when you wish to enter your own place? Batcave entrance?
Yes, Africanized bees whose nest is disturbed, sending them into a frenzy, whenever the porch/whatever is approached is probably best.
But that’s of extremely dubious legality. Likely a “man trap.”
What about an extremely loud warning signal, of about 130 dB+? Not predictably likely to cause lasting physical trauma, and has a plausible reason for its use and deployment.
Or a fake robot dog…chained to a real pole or stake or something that appears might be escaped or broken at any moment. That might do it.
You could probably buy dog pelts at Amazon…but, no, you certainly will not be buying a box of live hornets from even the most unscrupulous of sellers.
Oh. OK.
Yeah, sure. Africanized bees…the go-to response. Or just about any type of hornet or wasp.
Include in the box some kind of vibrating thing to keep them good and angry.
And seal the box pretty well…they’ll chew right through paper.
Metal briefcase. And put some pheromones inside it, or just outside it or something, along with the wasps/hornets. That’d probably work.
Inside an Amazon box, to discourage would-be “good Samaritans” who “just wanted to” “make sure it was safe.”
Yep, booby traps that can harm are illegal. It’s to jail a hypothetical alternate universe Ranger_Jeff could be going. Even more so if said porch pirate turns out to be randomly allergic to stings and dies of anaphylactic shock.
Fantasizing about vengeance is all fine and dandy (assuming you aren’t obsessive about it 
). Actually putting a plan into action is…unwise.
How about murder hornets?
j/k
I can supply used cat litter for this public service.
If anyone was serious about preventing porch pirates the first thing would be to set up a parcel delivery box.
So, no. If you can buy them, Do Not. Do not set booby traps.
So many other things you can do,
Have delivery made when you’re home.
Have a locking parcel box.
Have some one watch out for it.
Have it delivered somewhere safer.
Get a ring doorbell.
Insure it. Or know your vendors policy on lost packages.
It doesn’t havta be this way.
(I know that it is and I’m thinking of fairytale land…sorry)
I like the way you think.
I choose the Amazon option to have parcels left with my friendly next-door neighbour (and they reciprocate. 
)
And here’s a high-teach solution 
As a professional entomologist, yes you can do exactly this. Not from Amazon, but there are companies that will sell and ship you this kind of stuff. You should see the packages that come through the mail room at work sometimes…
Also, unless you like prison, don’t set booby traps.
Moderating
I don’t see a factual question here.
Moving from FQ to IMHO.
Also, note that effectively booby-trapping a porch package with bees (or anything else harmful) is illegal. Feel free to discuss LEGAL methods of dealing with porch pirates.
And spring-loaded, for good measure.
“Remember there could always be giant ants, like in Santa Clara in 1950!”
That what you need.
You need [THEM.](https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEih5u8zrgwGpT7egBrSWDpFdFCLO3rnmZBCzwtR6WTb7JPdzLMRo8HlLyo2N_k53Kq8651x0-I5dbFkfk3Y8g1bGwj6qu0Imijwy1SX-D6gxX6N0beJQ4uupdsnSWMz4qv-MwKuPImyLA/s1600/themgif2.gif)“Oh yeah, what are you gonna do? Release the dogs? Or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouth and when they bark they shoot bees at you?”