::: Moderator coughs for attention ::::
Autolycus, that’s pretty much… inappropriate for Cafe Society forum. And uncalled for. I’m can’t find any particular rule that it violates, but it’s certainly out of place. Please try to restrain yourself in future (double entendre noted).
I’ve found I have a liking for '70s-'80s era porn, especially the products peddled by the Color Climax/Rodox company. Wouldn’t have even known about that style of thing before the 'net.
Just remember, whatever perversion you think of will appear on the internets. It is Quantum Fetish Mechanics.
No, if that were true, there’d be at least one website with video of Bailey from WKRP and Mary Ann from *Gilligan’s Island * and me gettin’ frea-kay.
Great. Now I’m imagining Furries dressing up as Schroedinger’s Cat.
Oh come on, I found it to be quite funny. I’ve seen far more “inappropriate” posts elsewhere in the Cafe forum.
If someone doesn’t like it, just don’t read it. It’s not like he didn’t give ample warning with all the setup and “fapping.”
I think reading this thread may have given me a fetish for reading about other people’s fetishes…And also apparently not reading whole threads, damn, someone got to the joke first.
Okay, then I have a fetish for reading about other people’s fetishes but not revealing any of my own.
Okay, now; in light of this:
and then seeing this just a few days later, I have to wonder it Mr. Milholland is at least a lurker…
A close friend of mine claims he once encountered a slash-fiction story in which The Brave Little Toaster rapes Blankie.
He first mentioned years ago, and despite my vast experience slogging through the perilous porn pits of the internet since then, it still remains the most thoroughly bizarre piece of pornography I have ever heard of. Why?! Why, I ask myself?
The strangest thing I will admit to enjoying is not quite erotic- it’s tentacle rape parodies. Often they feature an Elmer Fudd/Bugs Bunny dynamic where a disarmingly cute and inept tentacle monster will repeatedly be foiled in attempts to rape a young girl, who is merely very annoyed by the advances. I find the juxtaposition of an extreme fetish with tame slapstick to be hysterical.
Two specific examples I can think of are the ‘Hentai’ episode of Weebl and Bob, and the Bus-Full-Of-Japanese-Schoolgirls storyline in Exploitation Now.
…and the now sadly-defunct webcomic, Ghastly’s Ghastly Comic.
I’ve been saving this for literally YEARS for just such an occasion. This is an instant message conversation from someone who approached me randomly. In the conversation below, I am “ConstantCrave.” Folks…meet, Beach Ball Guy:
(Hope this isn’t too long and doesn’t annoy anyone.)
SDOZ28: hello could you stomp a beachball flat?
ConstantCrave: I suppose I could.
ConstantCrave: Why do you ask?
SDOZ28: fantasy
ConstantCrave: You have a beach ball fantasy?
SDOZ28: how would u do it?
SDOZ28: yes
ConstantCrave: Well, I wouldn’t think it would be real complicated.
SDOZ28: can u fulfil
ConstantCrave: LOL…are you serious?
SDOZ28: stomp flat not easy
ConstantCrave: You want me to tell you a little story about busting up a beach ball and you’ll get off on it?
SDOZ28: yes
ConstantCrave: I suppose it would be in spike heels.
ConstantCrave: Or if I jumped off the sofa.
SDOZ28: tell story
ConstantCrave: Is that an order?
SDOZ28: u have splkes
SDOZ28: yes now
ConstantCrave: Now?
ConstantCrave: I suppose I could get spikes.
SDOZ28: huge beachball dfetish
ConstantCrave: You’re joking right?
ConstantCrave: What about beachballs turns you on?
SDOZ28: not joking
ConstantCrave: You like the stripey beach balls?
ConstantCrave: Or the solid color ones they have in the bins at Walmart?
SDOZ28: anticipation
ConstantCrave: Anticipation of a beach ball?
SDOZ28: poppiny it
SDOZ28: striped ones
ConstantCrave: It gives you a hard on, or what?
SDOZ28: now yes
ConstantCrave: now yes what?
SDOZ28: hard
ConstantCrave: You’re hard now? Thinking of beach balls?
SDOZ28: have them now no 14 to to break them
ConstantCrave: You HAVE beach balls in your home?
SDOZ28: no one to break
ConstantCrave: But you have no one to stomp them?
ConstantCrave: Well, why don’t you put your keds on and jump on them yourself.
ConstantCrave: How many beach balls do you have?
SDOZ28: live north shore apart alone
ConstantCrave: Whew! Well that’s good…
ConstantCrave: Because a roommate might take up valuable beach ball space.
SDOZ28: like watching a woman jump on?
ConstantCrave: Are you asking me if I like to watch a woman jump on beach balls?
SDOZ28: i do
ConstantCrave: So let me get this straight…
ConstantCrave: It’s ONLY beach balls.
ConstantCrave: I mean, a tether ball or a golf ball…
ConstantCrave: That wouldn’t get you hard?
SDOZ28: beachballs only
ConstantCrave: Any idea WHY?
ConstantCrave: Some childhood beachball-related trauma?
SDOZ28: kinda
ConstantCrave: Yes?
ConstantCrave: Such as?
ConstantCrave: Please tell me about it.
SDOZ28: 1 got popped 15yrs ago liked it ever since
SDOZ28: 31 m
ConstantCrave: Someone popped your beach ball at 16…
ConstantCrave: Was it a woman in spiked heels?
SDOZ28: yes
SDOZ28: no heel
ConstantCrave: Who was it then?
ConstantCrave: Did they do it on purpose?
SDOZ28: neibor up stairs
ConstantCrave: I see…
ConstantCrave: Was she cute?
SDOZ28: no dared to
ConstantCrave: I mean, was it the BALL that excited you, or the girl.
ConstantCrave: Ahh…so you WANTED her to jump on the ball before she did…
SDOZ28: for 18 ya
ConstantCrave: You already KNEW it aroused you…
SDOZ28: both execited
ConstantCrave: She was turned on by beach balls too?
SDOZ28: no
ConstantCrave: But she just had a deep hatred of them? That made her want to jump on them?
SDOZ28: the anticipation of it happening
ConstantCrave: I see…
SDOZ28: i dared her a freak thing
ConstantCrave: So if I like…stood on my bed and LOOKED at a striped beach ball on the floor, and got READY to jump on it…
ConstantCrave: For like forty minutes.
ConstantCrave: You’d cum all over yourself?
ConstantCrave: Is that right?
SDOZ28: then i became aroused
ConstantCrave: I see.
SDOZ28: slow down
ConstantCrave: Do you suppose if you’d dared her to jump onto a live frog, you’d have a hard on over live frogs now
ConstantCrave: ?
ConstantCrave: Okay.
SDOZ28: no
ConstantCrave: A sand pail?
SDOZ28: no
ConstantCrave: A bean bag?
SDOZ28: beachball only
ConstantCrave: So I can’t stomp anything else for you?
ConstantCrave: LIke a can of baked beans or something?
SDOZ28: like what
ConstantCrave: An inflatable chair perhaps.
SDOZ28: ok
ConstantCrave: Okay to the inflatable chair.
ConstantCrave: How about one of those pool floaty things?
SDOZ28: any ibmflatable
ConstantCrave: Aha…now we’re getting somewhere.
ConstantCrave: How about a giant, inflatable penis.
ConstantCrave: i think I’d like to stomp that…
ConstantCrave: Oh! Or how about one of those inflatable women?
ConstantCrave: That would be hilarious.
SDOZ28: ohhh yess
ConstantCrave: You’d like that?
SDOZ28: yes
ConstantCrave: How many beach balls do you have right now?
SDOZ28: age location?
ConstantCrave: And do you also have an inflatable woman?
ConstantCrave: I’m 30…in WAtertown.
SDOZ28: cool
SDOZ28: no women
ConstantCrave: NO women?
ConstantCrave: But how many beach balls.
SDOZ28: beachba to many to count
ConstantCrave: Are they already inflated?
ConstantCrave: You get off on watching a woman blow up a beach ball?
SDOZ28: 5 are
ConstantCrave: Five inflated…hmm…
SDOZ28: yes
SDOZ28: u would fulfil my dream wouldnt you?
ConstantCrave: Well…I can’t see why not…
ConstantCrave: I mean, what harm could killing a few beach balls cause…
ConstantCrave: I suppose the plastic people would be in an uproar.
ConstantCrave: I’m single.
SDOZ28: single
ConstantCrave: Is it difficult to find someone who understands your beach ball neads?
ConstantCrave: needs, that is.
SDOZ28: no
ConstantCrave: It’s not?
ConstantCrave: Women lined up at your door to jump on your balls…
ConstantCrave: Err…beach balls.
SDOZ28: just ended an 8yr relationship
ConstantCrave: With a beachball stompin’ fool?
ConstantCrave: What happened?
SDOZ28: nothing to do with fetish
ConstantCrave: No?
ConstantCrave: You broke up with her for other reasons?
SDOZ28: second time around just did not work
ConstantCrave: That’s too bad…
ConstantCrave: But she jumped on beach balls for ya?
SDOZ28: yes becamwe a reg thing
ConstantCrave: What else turns you on?
ConstantCrave: I mean, there must be something else.
SDOZ28: being able to please a woman
ConstantCrave: How so?
SDOZ28: orally
ConstantCrave: Ahh…well, that sounds like a fair trade.
SDOZ28: im good at it
ConstantCrave: Couple of stomped beach balls for an hour of cunnilingus…
SDOZ28: sound good
SDOZ28: that ok 4u
ConstantCrave: Sure!
ConstantCrave: Sign me up!
ConstantCrave: Where do I stomp?
SDOZ28: ur not serious
SDOZ28: 511 228lbs u?
SDOZ28: ur first nanme?
ConstantCrave: Towanda.
SDOZ28: can i call u?
SDOZ28: what do look like
SDOZ28: helloooo
ConstantCrave: Like a cute little beach ball…
SDOZ28: really u wanna goof on me
SDOZ28: what do u look like?
ConstantCrave: LIke an ordinary looking brunette.
ConstantCrave: It’s gotta be a CUTE girl who stomps your balls?
ConstantCrave: CAn’t just be any old girl ?
SDOZ28: height weight
SDOZ28: looks are not that import inner beaty is
SDOZ28: hellooo
Damn - that sure beats my barefoot and barebreasted beauties in blue-jeans fetish by a wide margin!
Hubby and his ex used to supply a couple of balloon fetish sites with material. I think he said they got paid $100 for 10 pics. They did about 15 sets. Mostly her in bikini and stripper shoes and lots of balloons. I guess people really would will pay to see that.
Olive
The best line from that whole thing?
-FrL-
Aye, one of my various and sundry talents is that I type more than 110 wpm (at least testing anyway). I can ask 57 questions before you’ve had a chance to answer question #1. So having a conversation with me via Instant Message can be a little daunting.
Particularly if you’re an imbecile to start out with.
Oh. That’s not how I interpreted him. 
-FrL-
I haven’t discovered any new fetishes–or, quirks, shall we say–in my own sexual interests since I became internet-savvy. Rather, the web has allowed me to, shall we say, explore, my quirks. And discover that I am most decidely not unique in enjoying some non-standard things.
The web is great for indulging in fantasy about acts that I don’t think I really want to do in real life. Not because they’re illegal or immoral, they’re just not something my partner is interested in, and I don’t know as I’d want to take it to real life, anyway.
The oddest sexual fetish I’ve stumbled upon on my own so far is the fellow who writes erotic stories about wrapping Roy Orbison in cling-film. Again, let me state:
**Roy Orbinson, encased in saran wrap, is someone’s sexual fetish. **
I am so NORMAL in comparison.
I skimmed over CeilingWhacks’ post. I must say, I am glad I scrolled back up and read it properly. I’m still giggling.
I didn’t learn about this fetish from the internet, but rather from my early medical training.
Some folks have a fetish for an artificial orifice, like an incision. Ostomies would be one such orifice, stab wounds another.
I have not searched for this paraphilia on the net. I have no desire to gather further information about it.
So, they like to just lookat the stab wound right???
Right??? :eek: :eek:
Say yes.
Please.
Better yet: Don’t answer at all :eek:.