Possibly offensive comments from strangers

That you just ignore rather than investigate further? I’m not the only one that gets these and does that right?

Taxi driver to me:

“Did you see all those muslims?”:dubious:

(It was the end of Ramadan)

What is offensive about that?

Not a damn thing, thats the point. However it felt like a feeler based on facial expression and tone of voice.

Not “Did you see all those OTHER muslims?”:wink:

I know I’ve posted this before, but the offense keeps on giving.

I had a girlfriend who was scared shitless about her uterine cancer and her upcoming hysterectomy. A cab driver told me to leave her because she wouldn’t be a real woman anymore.

Why the hell did you ask a cab driver about your girlfriend’s uterus in the first place?

I didn’t ask. He asked about the vacation that I had just finished, and I guess I mentioned that I spent a lot of it trying to get my GF’s mind off of her upcoming surgery. It just went from there.

As a white bartender in predominantly black city I’d get those “feelers” from white tourists all the time. Often as not I had a black female regular in there I could get to lean across the bar & give me a kiss; play girlfriend. This usually moved our curious tourist right along as quick as he could pay & get out.

“Well, I would leave her, but I don’t have any balls.” :smiley:

That cab driver would get no tip. No tip at all. Not even a “Good day to you, sir!”

Is this a thread about where we start sharing TMI when it really isn’t necessary. or when we ignore offensive comments that strangers make?

Here’s one. “How do you pronounce your name?” Or “You have a beautiful name, I’ve never heard it before!” Or “Where are you from?”

All totally inoffensive questions. All questions that mean You are Other. An outsider. Different. Alien.

I’ve had people stumble over my name all my life. It’s really not that hard, especially when you look at Polish names and such. I’ve grown used to it, but I do roll my eyes internally when it’s clear someone isn’t even going to try it, especially someone in a service position (reception for a doctor, for example).

Just give it a shot. I won’t bite you.

“You’re so exotic looking. Was your dad a GI?” - Michael Scott

Asking how to properly pronounce someone’s name if you aren’t sure how to say it is not offensive. It’s the *opposite *of offensive, they are trying to get it correct.

I think you are just looking to be offended. “You have a pretty name” means “You are different. An outsider. An alien?” Wow, must be hard to stand up with that huge chip on your shoulder.

(If your name is your screen name, I would pronounce it Anna-Meeka. Is that correct? I have no idea.)

I said it was “inoffensive”. Didn’t I? And no, I am not looking to be offended…seriously, people always take things the wrong way, no matter how hard you try to show different sides of a thing!

Think of it this way. “Jennifers” don’t get asked these questions. But I get asked every single day, every time I get introduced to a new person, every time I go to a doctor’s office, every time I go anywhere new that has my name. It’s not offensive, just tiresome.

I don’t get offended. I smile and tell them how to pronounce it, or thank them prettily. I don’t even get slightly irate. Hell, I know I’m different, an outsider, and an alien…but I live with it. I just am reminded all of the time.

As to my screen name, it is more correctly pronounced “anAA-mika”. But really, please be assured, I’ll answer to most anything. Really. I don’t get offended that easily. :slight_smile:

FWIW, I endure “How do you pronounce your name?” and “You have a beautiful name, I’ve never heard it before!” type questions all the time too, and it’s just because my father enjoyed choosing slightly lesser known names, usually from Shakespeare. My sisters and I all have this curse. Even my nickname is unusual enough to confuse – one guy I talked to asked me what my name was and when I answered, he just started laughing hysterically. (There are a couple of reasonably well known sitcom characters from the last 20 years that have had my name so I find this confusing.) Hell, I work on the phone so I go through the rigamarole every single day, pretty much.

It is tiresome, but what are you going to do? I don’t think it makes me an outsider, it’s just some people don’t have mouth filters.