Something I’ve seen portraying in movies or television shows is people (friends, fellow church members, neighbors) delivering multiple casseroles to a grieving family or perhaps one that just brought a new baby home. First of all is this or was this a real thing? Because it seems to me that could be an overwhelming amount of food to deliver at the same time. I suppose perhaps someone might coordinate the deliveries so that the family isn’t overwhelmed. And then is that family expected to keep track of whose casserole dish is whose, so you can get someone’s prize Tupperware or Corningware back to them?
It was a thing among certain groups. The idea was that the grieving family was too busy to deal with things like cooking, and possibly even too upset to eat. Sending over a cooked meal that one could eat right away or put in the freezer was a neighborly thing to do.
As for the container, you wrote the person’s name on it so you could take it back to them as soon as you washed it.
Yes, it used to be a thing, and it still is to some extent.
I’ve both made/delivered and been the recipient of such casseroles. When my husband died, people brought all sorts of food. A whole ham, a platter of sandwiches, several casseroles, fried chicken and more. It was a bit overwhelming, but I was grateful for it.
It was especially useful when people would come by to express their condolences. I had stuff to offer that I didn’t have to think about.
Friends were staying with me during the initial shock period, and they thoughtfully labeled each dish with masking tape and a Sharpie as someone offered it, so they could be sure to return it to the rightful owner.
I lost one cherished pie plate by offering food to a grieving family. The dish belonged to my mother, and I had dearly hoped it would be returned. By the time I asked for it back, it had apparently been reused and passed along to an unknown recipient. Oh, well.
Your faith is touching. We put our name on dishes we want back. Saves people a chore at a tough time.
Friends of ours used a website, Meal Train, I think, where people could outline and schedule a meal to deliver, which was a great idea. It prevented getting, say, 12 tuna casseroles with the same best before date and alerted providers to allergies.
In my situation it was a godsend. I am the only cook in the house but I was non-functioning which was fine for me and Mrs. Cad since we only ate to take in nutrients. But children needed to be fed so go ahead and get a scoop out of one of the casseroles and throw it in the microwave when needed.
For a minute I thought this was my DILs thread(she’s not really on the Dope, I hope 
)
But I got it mixed up in my head.
She makes casseroles to die for(like, literally, die first then you won’t have to taste that bad Monkey eyeball Worm casserole).
But, yeah. Casseroles from neighbors and friends at bereavement is a thing, in these parts.
Thanks for the replies, though I wonder how much freezer space people have, that they could fit multiple casseroles.
I have lots of freezer space, but when the food deluge became too much, I just passed it along to others that could also use it. My nephew was a beneficiary as well as a few other friends and their families.
In theory, you’d have loads of guests and some family staying over.
Nothing better than that one person with breakfast casserole. And a huge can of coffee.
Peeps gotta eat. If you’re too upset or in some state of early grief, you definitely don’t want to grocery shop or prepare breakfast for guests.
That’s another thing; someone grieving a loved one is expected to host houseguests?
Yeah, that can be a real problem. A lot of food inevitably gets tossed if there isn’t enough freezer space, or the wherewithal to deal with packaging it up.
Nowadays you can buy good disposable foil casserole pans, which helps with not having to wash and return the casserole dishes.
Our block has used the above-mentioned Meal Train. Super helpful.
I had one super close friend who came and stayed with me for a couple weeks. She was a godsend. She ran interference between me and the many, many people who needed to interact with me and scheduled them without making them feel managed.
My stepmom came and stayed with me from out of town. My husband’s two sisters from New Zealand and Australia also came and stayed. So yes, one hosts house guests as one must – and as one wishes to. I was glad to have them all around.
Not typically sleep-in guests, but often drop-in company.
When my husband died, and also my son ( many years later) no one brought anything.
That’s sad. I’m sorry.
It’s still a thing among Jews:
My cousin’s mother recently died, with her funeral in the big city where her children moved to and where she spent her last years. The burial was in the small town where she grew up and where many relatives still live. She wanted to buried in the town’s old church cemetery, next to her deceased husband. The town is about four hours away, so the cousin would be away from home for several days, and too much donated food would just go to waste. Our solution was a Door Dash gift card that they could use immediately if needed, or whenever they wanted. The cousin was very appreciative.
Yes, it is customary among Jews to visit the house of the bereaved and to bring food. The bereaved have the option of socializing or not, but their house is full of people who will talk to each other if the bereaved don’t feel up to talking. And all those people need to eat. So it’s good that they provide most of their own food. There should be enough leftover that the bereaved don’t need to cook for a while.
I usually bring a roast chicken in a disposable container to people i expect will have use for it, or nuts to people who might not.
One of the really painful things when my mother died of covid was that i had to quarantine (I’d spent her last two weeks mostly with her) and so there were no people over and little food. (Two geographically distant friends had food delivered, which was greatly appreciated.) But i really felt bereft, alone with my little household of 3.
(My reform community schedules a few hours of shiva here and there, but there is significant low-effort social activity available to the bereaved.)
That was such a sad thing for you. Friends and family are what get us through these most painful times in life. I’m truly sorry yours couldn’t be with you. I’ll bet they more than made up for it once you were free from the quarantine, though.
This is a wonderfully thoughtful idea! Thanks for sharing it.
I held a virtual shiva in Gathertown, and everyone came. My son built a replica of my home, and people wandered around chatting informally, much as at a real shiva. And then everyone moved to the backyard patio for the mourners kaddish. It was both much better than nothing, and not as good as being hugged by friends.
I’d forgotten about gathertown. It’s a surprisingly good app for what it is.