There is a complete lack of Tolkien-related threads in CS. Clearly this is unacceptable, and I will be raining flaming mongooses on the persons or persons responsible for this shocking oversight (i.e., Qadgop, What Exit?Elendil’s Heir, and myself*).
But the important thing isn’t punishment; that’s just the fun part. The important thing is starting a thread. To wit:
Post to the Dope from Middle-Earth. Or even Numenor or the Undying Lands; I’m not picky.
*Except that since I’m obviously not going to loose a plague on MYSELF, somebody’s gonna get it twice.
I am reporting your post to the King’s Men. You KNOW Quenya is forbidden on this island!!
Back to the thread topic: Does anybody know what the deal is with all that black smoke coming from that new temple to Melkor? It’s really screwing with my garden; all my athelas has withered away, and that seedling of Celeborn I’ve been trying to graft to the pear tree in my back yard has died completely. I don’t want to bother the King with this, though; one of my cousins went to file a complaint about the property tax increases since Sauron was paroled, and no one’s heard from him since.
Is it just me, or do woodland elves just rude? I have one as a neighbour, you see, and although most of the time, I don’t have a problem, yesterday I went to visit Eolidir, and he had the audacity to ask me to take off my shoes!
I mean, what is with someone wanting you to take off your shoes? I wasn’t wearing nice socks and I didn’t want to, but what if I had a prosthetic with the shoe attached?
What kind of manners are those? Am I out of line for telling Eolidir to take a leap into a deep well?
You know the real problem with Numenor? No stores. Yeah, yeah, Undying Lands, everything’s great- but there’s nowhere to pick up some pasta sauce or a couple of pounds of ground beef.
Man, I was just getting into a nice centuries-long nap after routing the dwarves and men, and making my bed out of piled-up gold and now there seems to be a draft and funny noises coming from that side entrance I never blocked up.
Door? Do we look for some stupid Bracegirdles to you? You know it’s under the flagstones in the 3rd larder from the back; the one where all the seed-cakes are.
You know how the Democrats promised to fund programs rehabing the Uruk Hai childeren of Mordor. It was all one big bloated government waste program. Mordor is still essentially a cesspool for the underclass. Next time the election comes around I’m totally voting for that occular dude breathed in flame. He’s got a plan for Mordor that just can’t fail.
I don’t want to bother the King with this, though; one of my cousins went to file a complaint about the property tax increases since Sauron was paroled, and no one’s heard from him since.